feedback after my first date!

  • Thread starter Thread starter Lex
  • Start date Start date

Lex

Lex

Lex

Associate
Joined
26 Dec 2002
Posts
971
Location
NW London, United Kingdom
Okay so i met this girl out one night and since then we just seemed to click (on the phone) and when we were at our meeting place initially.
Anyway organised a 'date' last night to go to nandos and then to see borat at the movies. She hadn't really done that much that whole day but i went to work finished at 5.30 and stuck in traffic for an hour before going home, attempting to chill and then getting in shower to meet up.

anyway cut a long story short all seemed to go fairly well on our meeting (according to me) but on talking to her after the date (that night via phone) she said it seemed like i didnt wanna be there and that i was bored! she said i didnt really laugh that much at borat and just seemed bored!

thats definetly not good feedback! I said i was tired or it was just very formal in the sense of having dinner and then sitting in two chairs where if you wanted contact it was 'official like' (but i did anyway). Then continued to make what seemed to be excuses.

I don't know what is going on! I reassured her but even im not convinced she believes me. Normally i'm lively but last night i was like a old fart (age:22). explainations/excuses? whats my next step im thinking of not contacting her because i could be the same.
 
monkeyspank said:
Tell her you want a chance to show her how you really feel.
Click to expand...

interesting but have you got any suggestions. telling her i wanna root her is not exactly ideal or recommended im sure. only kidding! How can i do that though? I think it'd be better to go out on the weekend where i can be excited coz i dont have to go to work! Maybe. but i wanna see her again sooner.
 
Just tell her you want to see her again soon. You wouldn't say that if you were bored or didn't like her.
 
1) You're making excuses

2) Based on your own perceptions did you act reserved or not?

3) Have you had many girlfriends, do you get opportunity to meet many women?

4) Be honest with your feelings about the situation and you will come closer to the answers you are looking for. No excuses.
 
I think you can see some of your issues just from the way you have written the thread. It's written very formal and it seems like your writing quite difficult things. This has obviously come across to the girl so just take onboard what she said and don't feel to down about it. The more times you do it the easier it gets!

Sometimes taking a step back from the situation helps in lots of things and if you can do it in this you'll see a bigger, clearer picture. She may have even been nervous herself so that could be something to do with it.
 
cleanbluesky said:
1) You're making excuses

2) Based on your own perceptions did you act reserved or not?

3) Have you had many girlfriends, do you get opportunity to meet many women?

4) Be honest with your feelings about the situation and you will come closer to the answers you are looking for. No excuses.
Click to expand...

1) maybe i am!
2) i was reserved - what happens when i'm tired
3) i've had many girlfriends so im totally suprised by this. almost like ive been here before so lets just play this role
4) Honest with my feelings.hehe what the hell are my feelings!
 
SoapSurgeon said:
Invite her round to yours and cook her a meal, bottle of wine or two and youre sorted.
Click to expand...

I live with my mother and cousin. No longer at uni with my own place:s I no longer run the show:(
 
Lex said:
interesting but have you got any suggestions. telling her i wanna root her is not exactly ideal or recommended im sure. only kidding! How can i do that though? I think it'd be better to go out on the weekend where i can be excited coz i dont have to go to work! Maybe. but i wanna see her again sooner.
Click to expand...

There you go dude, try and arrange something for the weekend.

Your first post does seem to be a bit laboured. Like you're treating it like a science or something. Maybe that's how you were treating this girl?

Take her out at the weekend, do something that you will both enjoy, and have fun :) Even if she really likes you, she won't want to feel like she's not wanted.
 
Lex said:
1) maybe i am!
2) i was reserved - what happens when i'm tired
3) i've had many girlfriends so im totally suprised by this. almost like ive been here before so lets just play this role
4) Honest with my feelings.hehe what the hell are my feelings!
Click to expand...

By the sounds of things you just need to relax. Maybe you like the girl a little too much, who knows...
 
Well either:
You were actually boring
You picked the wrong kind of date
She isn't really interested
She is a ***** and nothing will please her

Possibly a combination of the above:

Take her on another date something more simple but try and do something where you interact together, even if it's just play on the quiz machine in the pub together, get to know her, have some fun and make her laugh.

You can't expect it to all go smoothly straight away, so I find it a bit odd she is so judgemental over a first date, it takes time to relax in someones company.

If you truely believe you were yourself on the next date and it's still not good enough for her then don't chase her, just tell her it isn't going to work out.
 
TomWilko said:
I think you can see some of your issues just from the way you have written the thread. It's written very formal and it seems like your writing quite difficult things. This has obviously come across to the girl so just take onboard what she said and don't feel to down about it. The more times you do it the easier it gets!

Sometimes taking a step back from the situation helps in lots of things and if you can do it in this you'll see a bigger, clearer picture. She may have even been nervous herself so that could be something to do with it.
Click to expand...


I wrote it very formal? I am writing difficult things? can you explain? Incidently she said i dont seem simple. I coulda told her that but i'm not that complicated (i hope).
 
As someone said above, beer works wonders. I'm not suggesting that you need beer to be interesting but it's kind of obvious that you, if not the pair of you, are nervous and might need one just to chill out and relax.
 
monkeyspank said:
There you go dude, try and arrange something for the weekend.

Your first post does seem to be a bit laboured. Like you're treating it like a science or something. Maybe that's how you were treating this girl?

Take her out at the weekend, do something that you will both enjoy, and have fun :) Even if she really likes you, she won't want to feel like she's not wanted.
Click to expand...

First post seemed a bit laboured. It's terrible i type pretty fast yeh so what is in my head just gets put on screen. So its all over the place basically. Typing that much takes 2min. Sorry. But yeh i'm too err analytical or scientific in my approach, you're right.

Maybe i'm confusing business with my pleasures. Im in a technical field so everything thats thought and said is pretty technical. I probably use the same methods to figure her out (maybe).
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom