Man of Honour
- Joined
- 17 Feb 2003
- Posts
- 29,640
- Location
- Chelmsford
Thought I’d write an update for anyone interested..
In October, we were placed with a 12 year old boy (who we’ll call Jason) who had been in care since the age of 5. He’s in care because his mother had neglected him since a baby and yet she continues to still have children. This annoys me! She also has a history of drug related offences and has been in prison at least twice.
His placement with us was to be for two weeks emergency care as there was an allegation from him that there was sexual abuse from his current foster parents. In this case, the child must be removed immediately. I was naturally concerned about this and was worried quite frankly about our own safety. However, he does have a history of lying and absconding.
During the two weeks, the plan was for social services to find him a residential care home so he could be with his bother. Unfortunately, protocol dictates that this couldn’t happen until his 13th Birthday which was only a week away at the time.
Strangely enough, his history of absconding was to see his mother in North London despite her history of abuse and this continued whilst I our care. In fact, out of the two weeks in our care, he only stayed one night. I admired his determination to get from where we live in the country side near Chelmsford to North London at 12 and without a penny.
It was really bizarre that one minute he was there, the next minute he was gone. As part of our responsibility, he had to inform the agency, his social worker and the police. We had to file a missing person file with the police which quite a harsh thing to go through. The house was searched top to bottom and the pond was expected too. After a few times, we didn’t bother ringing the police because we knew where he was going and Essex police were getting a little fed up with him. However, social services still rang the Metropolitan police who on a couple of nights, returned him to us in the early hours.
In the end, I pleaded with social workers that looking at the risk factors; he would actually be safer at home with his mother than being on the streets for 3 hours on the run each time absconds. They finally agreed and on the day that the social worker went round to tell him he could stay, he failed to explain the reason why he was coming around. Naturally, Jason got frightened that he was being taken away so absconded from his mothers’ home. The police picked him up that night and brought him round to ours. I sat down and explained to him why they were coming round for and that all the time he was on the run, the less time the social workers have to work on his permanent placement. It went in one ear and out of the other but the shock on his face when I told him that they were coming round to say he could stay was a picture. Three hours later, he ran off again. We’ve not seen him since.
Since then, we have had a 10 year old boy on respite. This lad (who we’ll call Gary) is quite and a simple lad who has learning difficulties. He also has a severe speech impediment which is sometimes a bit difficult to understand at times. He appeared to fit in well for the 5 days we had him. He’s polite and courteous but has a tendency to exaggerate a little. We have no idea about his past although we know he has an older brother and a younger bother who he has never seen. Imagine that.
I managed to take him fishing with Pete and we went and played football. We also had a Halloween party which was fun.
I think he enjoyed our stay with us because he said he didn’t want to go and that he wanted to stay with us.
He has been back a few times since and we are having for 2 weeks over the next month.
I think Pete has found this placement quite hard. He has told us he doesn’t really like him because he has tagged on to him like a shadow. That’s understandable because Gary probably has never had someone his own age at home to mix with, and looks to him as a peer maybe. We have told Pete that if he wants his privacy, then he is to keep his bedroom door shut and not to invite him.
Looking ahead, we have a teenage girl staying with us for 2 weeks in the new year.
Our fostering journey for those who are interested.
Thanks for reading
In October, we were placed with a 12 year old boy (who we’ll call Jason) who had been in care since the age of 5. He’s in care because his mother had neglected him since a baby and yet she continues to still have children. This annoys me! She also has a history of drug related offences and has been in prison at least twice.
His placement with us was to be for two weeks emergency care as there was an allegation from him that there was sexual abuse from his current foster parents. In this case, the child must be removed immediately. I was naturally concerned about this and was worried quite frankly about our own safety. However, he does have a history of lying and absconding.
During the two weeks, the plan was for social services to find him a residential care home so he could be with his bother. Unfortunately, protocol dictates that this couldn’t happen until his 13th Birthday which was only a week away at the time.
Strangely enough, his history of absconding was to see his mother in North London despite her history of abuse and this continued whilst I our care. In fact, out of the two weeks in our care, he only stayed one night. I admired his determination to get from where we live in the country side near Chelmsford to North London at 12 and without a penny.
It was really bizarre that one minute he was there, the next minute he was gone. As part of our responsibility, he had to inform the agency, his social worker and the police. We had to file a missing person file with the police which quite a harsh thing to go through. The house was searched top to bottom and the pond was expected too. After a few times, we didn’t bother ringing the police because we knew where he was going and Essex police were getting a little fed up with him. However, social services still rang the Metropolitan police who on a couple of nights, returned him to us in the early hours.
In the end, I pleaded with social workers that looking at the risk factors; he would actually be safer at home with his mother than being on the streets for 3 hours on the run each time absconds. They finally agreed and on the day that the social worker went round to tell him he could stay, he failed to explain the reason why he was coming around. Naturally, Jason got frightened that he was being taken away so absconded from his mothers’ home. The police picked him up that night and brought him round to ours. I sat down and explained to him why they were coming round for and that all the time he was on the run, the less time the social workers have to work on his permanent placement. It went in one ear and out of the other but the shock on his face when I told him that they were coming round to say he could stay was a picture. Three hours later, he ran off again. We’ve not seen him since.
Since then, we have had a 10 year old boy on respite. This lad (who we’ll call Gary) is quite and a simple lad who has learning difficulties. He also has a severe speech impediment which is sometimes a bit difficult to understand at times. He appeared to fit in well for the 5 days we had him. He’s polite and courteous but has a tendency to exaggerate a little. We have no idea about his past although we know he has an older brother and a younger bother who he has never seen. Imagine that.
I managed to take him fishing with Pete and we went and played football. We also had a Halloween party which was fun.
I think he enjoyed our stay with us because he said he didn’t want to go and that he wanted to stay with us.
He has been back a few times since and we are having for 2 weeks over the next month.
I think Pete has found this placement quite hard. He has told us he doesn’t really like him because he has tagged on to him like a shadow. That’s understandable because Gary probably has never had someone his own age at home to mix with, and looks to him as a peer maybe. We have told Pete that if he wants his privacy, then he is to keep his bedroom door shut and not to invite him.
Looking ahead, we have a teenage girl staying with us for 2 weeks in the new year.
Our fostering journey for those who are interested.
Thanks for reading
that means a lot 
) is completely understandable 
