Friday Joke
- Thread starter Red and White
- Start date
Permabanned
- Joined
- 3 Dec 2004
- Posts
- 2,304
- Location
- Sheffield
I like the 3rd one aswell, heard it before but not in as much detail. 
Associate
- Joined
- 16 Oct 2004
- Posts
- 552
- Location
- ingerlund
An American businessman was in Japan. He hired a local hooker and was going at it all night with her. She kept screaming "Fugifoo, Fugifoo!!!", which the guy took to be pleasurable.. The next day, he was golfing with his Japanese counterparts and he got a beautiful 340 yard shot and just 50 yards from the pin. Wanting to impress the clients, he said "Fugifoo".
The Japanese clients looked confused and said "What are you talking about, that's
the right hole."
The Japanese clients looked confused and said "What are you talking about, that's
the right hole."
Associate
- Joined
- 14 Jan 2005
- Posts
- 207
Why I fired my Secretary.
Last week was my birthday
and I didn't feel very well
waking up on that morning.
I went downstairs for breakfast
hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy Birthday!", and
possibly have a small present for me.
As it turned out,
she barely said good morning,
let alone
" Happy Birthday."
I thought...
Well,
that's marriage for you,
but the kids....
They will remember.
My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word.
So when I left for the office,
I felt pretty low
and somewhat despondent.
As I walked into my office,
my secretary Jane said,
"Good Morning Boss,
and by the way
Happy Birthday ! "
It felt a little better
that at least someone had remembered.
I worked until one o'clock ,
when Jane knocked on my door
and said, "You know,
It's such a beautiful day outside,
and it is your Birthday,
what do you say we go out to lunch,
just you and me."
I said, "Thanks, Jane,
that's the greatest thing
I've heard all day.
Let's go !"
We went to lunch.
But we didn't go
where we normally would go.
She chose instead a quiet bistro
with a private table.
We had two martinis each
and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.
On the way back to the office,
Jane said, "You know,
It's such a beautiful day...
We don't need to go straight back to the office, Do We ?"
I responded,
"I guess not.
What do you have in mind ?"
She said,
"Let's drop by my apartment,
it's just around the corner."
After arriving at her apartment,
Jane turned to me and said,
" Boss, if you don't mind,
I'm going to step into the bedroom
for just a moment.
I'll be right back."
"Ok." I nervously replied.
She went into the bedroom and,
after a couple of minutes,
she came out
carrying a huge birthday cake ...
Followed
by my wife,
my kids,
and dozens of my friends
and co-workers,
all singing "Happy Birthday".
And I just sat there...
On the couch...
v
v
v
v
v
Naked.
Last week was my birthday
and I didn't feel very well
waking up on that morning.
I went downstairs for breakfast
hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy Birthday!", and
possibly have a small present for me.
As it turned out,
she barely said good morning,
let alone
" Happy Birthday."
I thought...
Well,
that's marriage for you,
but the kids....
They will remember.
My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word.
So when I left for the office,
I felt pretty low
and somewhat despondent.
As I walked into my office,
my secretary Jane said,
"Good Morning Boss,
and by the way
Happy Birthday ! "
It felt a little better
that at least someone had remembered.
I worked until one o'clock ,
when Jane knocked on my door
and said, "You know,
It's such a beautiful day outside,
and it is your Birthday,
what do you say we go out to lunch,
just you and me."
I said, "Thanks, Jane,
that's the greatest thing
I've heard all day.
Let's go !"
We went to lunch.
But we didn't go
where we normally would go.
She chose instead a quiet bistro
with a private table.
We had two martinis each
and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.
On the way back to the office,
Jane said, "You know,
It's such a beautiful day...
We don't need to go straight back to the office, Do We ?"
I responded,
"I guess not.
What do you have in mind ?"
She said,
"Let's drop by my apartment,
it's just around the corner."
After arriving at her apartment,
Jane turned to me and said,
" Boss, if you don't mind,
I'm going to step into the bedroom
for just a moment.
I'll be right back."
"Ok." I nervously replied.
She went into the bedroom and,
after a couple of minutes,
she came out
carrying a huge birthday cake ...
Followed
by my wife,
my kids,
and dozens of my friends
and co-workers,
all singing "Happy Birthday".
And I just sat there...
On the couch...
v
v
v
v
v
Naked.
Soldato
- Joined
- 4 Mar 2006
- Posts
- 3,712
- Location
- Wales
Ahahahahahahhahaha this thread is golden. Have some stars 
Soldato
- Joined
- 28 Jun 2006
- Posts
- 5,266
- Location
- Newcastle upon Tyne
Ahhhhhhh.....I was watching the episode of Coupling Series Two last night where that happens to Geoff. Giggletastic.Maxi Marra said:
This will no doubt spoil the whole thread but what the heck 
A man is walking down the street...
And on his way, he meets a friend, who just happens to have only one arm.
"So, what are you up to?" says the man.
"I'm going to change a light bulb."
"Won't that be difficult, with just the one arm?"
"I shouldn't think so, I've still got the receipt."
Sorry...i won't do it again
A man is walking down the street...
And on his way, he meets a friend, who just happens to have only one arm.
"So, what are you up to?" says the man.
"I'm going to change a light bulb."
"Won't that be difficult, with just the one arm?"
"I shouldn't think so, I've still got the receipt."
Sorry...i won't do it again
Permabanned
- Joined
- 21 Jan 2007
- Posts
- 318
Bobster said:
Bobster said:This will no doubt spoil the whole thread but what the heck
A man is walking down the street...
And on his way, he meets a friend, who just happens to have only one arm.
"So, what are you up to?" says the man.
"I'm going to change a light bulb."
"Won't that be difficult, with just the one arm?"
"I shouldn't think so, I've still got the receipt."
Sorry...i won't do it again
don't get it
?