Friday titter....

A man with an orange for a head walked into a bar and asked for a pint. The barman duely agreed and served the man his pint.

Now the barman had never seen a man with an orange for a head before so he leant over and asked "Forgive me,I know you must get asked this a lot, but would you mind explaining how it is that you have an orange for a head?"

"Ah certainly" replied the man, its a bit of a long story though.

I was up in my attic one day clearing out some belongings when I stumbled across an old lamp. I rubbed it as you do, and a genie popped out!!

He told me that I had 3 wishes, and so firstly I wished for my bank account to always be full. Sure enough when I checked, it was indeed full of money.

My second wish was beautiful women to find me attractive everywhere I went, and sure enough whenever I left the house, women flocked to me."

"I see", said the barman, "but that doesnt explain the orange for a head?"


"Ah now here is where I started to regret my decision" said the man with the orange for a head.

"For my third wish, I wished that I had an orange for a head"

:D
 
Lysander said:
A man walks into a bar with an orange on his head.

The barman says to him, "Oi, what are you doing with that apple on your head?"

The man says, "It's not a banana, it's a cherry."



Hmph.
Click to expand...

Eh?

I dont get it! :( was it just meant to be funny because it was a different bit of fruit each time? :confused: if so, I did not lol.
 
Im not sure if this will go down well, so insert disclaimer here, its pretty tasteless.

Sorry to mods as well if its too much...

Whats black and sits at the top of the stairs?



Steven Hawking after a fire :P
 
ok, my mate just sent me this,



Two friends, a blonde and a redhead, are walking down the street and
pass a flower shop where the redhead sees her boyfriend buying her
flowers.

The Redhead sighs and says: 'Oh crap, my boyfriend is Buying me
flowers again.'

The blonde looks quizzically at her and says: 'You don't like Getting
flowers from your boyfriend?'

The redhead replies: 'I love getting flowers, but he always has
expectations after giving me flowers, and I just don't feel like
spending the next three days on my back with my legs in the air.'





The blonde says: .......'Don't you have a vase?'
 
Can a mod rename this thread to 'the worse joke ever inside thread' please as i think its heading that way anyway lol..
 
Lysander's and thecremeegg were both excellent, off the wall humour wins everytime :D

And to add insult to injury:-

"Our Uncle Henry's living with us, he's mad, he thinks he's a chicken"

"Why don't you tell him to move out then?"

"Because we need the eggs".
 
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