Fridays Joke

Funny as an unflushed bog.

Here's a joke for you that I've had emailed to me this morning. Not particularly funny either but still:

Gordon Brown and his driver were going to Chequers and were passing a farm. A pig jumped out in the road suddenly. The driver tried to get out of the way, but he hit him. He went in the farm to explain what had happened. He came out with a beer, a cigar, and a tons of money. Brown saw this and said, "My God, what did you tell them?" The driver replied, "I told them that I'm Gordon Brown's driver and I just killed the pig."
 
Rhys said:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/7536918.stm
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One Roman jape dating back to the 1st Century BC details the Emperor Augustus touring his realm and coming across a man who bears a striking resemblance to himself.

Intrigued, he asks the man: "Was your mother at one time in service at the palace?"

The man replies: "No your highness, but my father was."
Click to expand...

Lol, I've heard modern day versions of this. Man that makes it an ooold joke...
 
Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night
celebrating St Patrick's Day.
Mick, the bartender says, 'You'll not be drinking anymore tonight Paddy.'
Paddy replies, 'OK Mick, I'll be on my way then.'
Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face.
'Shoite' he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off.
He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face, 'Shoite!'
He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get to
the door and some fresh air he'll be fine.
He belly crawls to the door and shimmies up to the door frame.
He sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels much
better and takes a step out onto the sidewalk and falls flat on his face.
'Bi'Jesus... I'm fockin' focked,' he says.
He can see his house just a few doors down, and crawls to the door, hauls
himself up the door frame, opens the door and shimmies inside.
He takes a look up the stairs and says, 'No fockin' way', but he crawls up
the stairs to his bedroom door and says, 'I can make it to the bed.'
He takes a step into the room and falls flat on his face. He says 'Fock it'
and falls into bed.

The next morning, his wife, Jess, comes into the room carrying a cup of
coffee and says, 'Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last night?'.

Paddy says, 'I did Jess. I was fockin' ******. But how'd you know?'



'Mick phoned. You left your wheelchair at the pub
 
Robbie G said:
Two men are arrested, one for drinking battery acid and the other for eating fireworks.

They charged one and let the other off.
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Worf.gif
 
DKong said:
Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night
celebrating St Patrick's Day.
Mick, the bartender says, 'You'll not be drinking anymore tonight Paddy.'
Paddy replies, 'OK Mick, I'll be on my way then.'
Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face.
'Shoite' he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off.
He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face, 'Shoite!'
He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get to
the door and some fresh air he'll be fine.
He belly crawls to the door and shimmies up to the door frame.
He sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels much
better and takes a step out onto the sidewalk and falls flat on his face.
'Bi'Jesus... I'm fockin' focked,' he says.
He can see his house just a few doors down, and crawls to the door, hauls
himself up the door frame, opens the door and shimmies inside.
He takes a look up the stairs and says, 'No fockin' way', but he crawls up
the stairs to his bedroom door and says, 'I can make it to the bed.'
He takes a step into the room and falls flat on his face. He says 'Fock it'
and falls into bed.

The next morning, his wife, Jess, comes into the room carrying a cup of
coffee and says, 'Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last night?'.

Paddy says, 'I did Jess. I was fockin' ******. But how'd you know?'



'Mick phoned. You left your wheelchair at the pub
Click to expand...

hahaha
 
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