Fridays (not so) Funny

Capn' $qu!ff said:
A panda walks into a restaraunt sits down and orders a meal. Once he's finished eating the waiter comes to take the dishes and the panda pulls out a gun and shoots him in the arm.
The waiter falls to the floor in agony and screams"What the **** did you do that for?!"
The panda turns and walks out throwing an encyclopedia over his sholder which lands in the waiters lap.
The waiter stunned looks down and reads.

Panda

eating habits: Eats Shoots and leaves



I'll get my coat :p
Click to expand...


hey be careful with that joke its an antique
 
This joke is so old. It's like a funny from the 50s when sad old people were trying to be cool to the people who are now sad and old.

I can't believe I just heard it again.. I was sure you would have to change it somehow to make it atleast some way original but no. You just ruined my afternoon you complete and utter ******!
 
Capn' $qu!ff said:
A panda walks into a restaraunt sits down and orders a meal. Once he's finished eating the waiter comes to take the dishes and the panda pulls out a gun and shoots him in the arm.
The waiter falls to the floor in agony and screams"What the **** did you do that for?!"
The panda turns and walks out throwing an encyclopedia over his sholder which lands in the waiters lap.
The waiter stunned looks down and reads.

Panda

eating habits: Eats Shoots and leaves



I'll get my coat :p
Click to expand...

ouch you just hurt my funny bone
 
simulatorman said:
A penguin was driving through the desert when his car broke down. He waddled to the nearest phone to call the AAA, resulting in his car being quickly towed to the nearest garage where the mechanic told him he would need a couple of hours to check out the car.

The penguin, being a good-natured bird, didn't complain but wandered off to find the closest supermarket. He proceeded to the frozen foods section and hung out near the fish sticks for a while. After an hour he managed to get in the freezer next to the vanilla ice cream and ate several gallons. Then he saw the time and hurried back to the garage still covered in ice cream.

The mechanic walked over to him wiping his hands and shaking his head saying, "It looks like you blew a seal."

Blushing, the penguin said, "Oh no! It's just ice cream..."
Click to expand...

I love it! :D
 
simulatorman said:
A penguin was driving through the desert when his car broke down. He waddled to the nearest phone to call the AAA, resulting in his car being quickly towed to the nearest garage where the mechanic told him he would need a couple of hours to check out the car.

The penguin, being a good-natured bird, didn't complain but wandered off to find the closest supermarket. He proceeded to the frozen foods section and hung out near the fish sticks for a while. After an hour he managed to get in the freezer next to the vanilla ice cream and ate several gallons. Then he saw the time and hurried back to the garage still covered in ice cream.

The mechanic walked over to him wiping his hands and shaking his head saying, "It looks like you blew a seal."

Blushing, the penguin said, "Oh no! It's just ice cream..."
Click to expand...

raised a smile :)
 
I thought the whole point of the book was that they used a comma: "Eats, Shoots and leaves" when instead the correct punctuation was a colon: "Eats: Shoots and leaves"

Note: I haven't read the book, although I did read an interesting one called "Eats, poops* and leaves: crap English and how to use it." with such interesting points as "Why do seeded grapes have the seeds taken out, when seeded buns have seeds put in?"

*change the word "poops" for something which sounds similar to "shoots" but with in "i" in the middle
 
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