Friend online I've known for 1+ year hates me because I spoke his first name

Kyrne · 25 Apr 2018 at 20:07

8 pages, legend.

Diddums · 25 Apr 2018 at 20:11

Chojin said:
OP I can understand why he would be irked at you. He let you know something that other people don't necessarily know and you broke his trust.

The fact that it was his name is irrelevant. It could have been any piece of information he did not want disclosed. You basically took one step forward and two steps back in terms of friendship.

It's a name. A first name even. It's hardly his bank account details is it? If you're that socially awkward that you don't want people knowing your first name then play single player games.

Chojin · 25 Apr 2018 at 21:03

Diddums said:
It's a name. A first name even. It's hardly his bank account details is it? If you're that socially awkward that you don't want people knowing your first name then play single player games.

But this person now knows that if he can't trust OP with his name then he certainly can't trust him with his bank details. Not a great foundation for being friends is it? OP knew how difficult it was to get his name but decided to say it anyway.

Diddums · 25 Apr 2018 at 21:13

Chojin said:
But this person now knows that if he can't trust OP with his name then he certainly can't trust him with his bank details. Not a great foundation for being friends is it? OP knew how difficult it was to get his name but decided to say it anyway.

Sigh. I can't be arsed crossing that much stupid to make a point. You win, you're right, etc.

Chris Wilson · 26 Apr 2018 at 00:09

Whatever actions or opinions one has in real life, if you cannot back them up without recourse to a pseudonym, it's a sad reflection on your commitment to your personality, manliness and views.

JBuk · 26 Apr 2018 at 05:18

They'e overreacting but they’re annoyed at you because You broke their trust , if somebody tells you something in confidence then don’t complain if you decide to share it with other people

pooley · 26 Apr 2018 at 06:37

obviously a social pariah who needs therapy, you should delete him and move on lol

d_brennen · 26 Apr 2018 at 08:34

SexyGreyFox said:
10/10

Yesterday I walked into the Cancer Centre (job) and saw another ex colleague about 10 years my junior who told me he has got advanced prostate cancer so just holding on
Life sucks.

Housey said:
Death sucks more to be fair.

Old Irish guy I know says live as much you can and die when you can't help it. This is my life motto these days

Kreeeee · 26 Apr 2018 at 10:03

builder22 · 26 Apr 2018 at 10:21

Chris Wilson said:
Whatever actions or opinions one has in real life, if you cannot back them up without recourse to a pseudonym, it's a sad reflection on your commitment to your personality, manliness and views.

and then there's the people who seem overly eager to tell you who they are

BowdonUK · 26 Apr 2018 at 10:41

JBuk said:
They'e overreacting but they’re annoyed at you because You broke their trust , if somebody tells you something in confidence then don’t complain if you decide to share it with other people

It's a first name. How did the OP know it was "in confidence"?

Anyone who gets that annoyed at something so minor as to walk off from the friendship never appreciated it in the first place.

I think there is borderline paranoia by some people online.

darreny · 26 Apr 2018 at 10:45

And you all think I'm called Darren. Suckers

x-st · 26 Apr 2018 at 10:59

BowdonUK said:
It's a first name. How did the OP know it was "in confidence"?

Did you read the first post? - "You have no idea how hard it was to get this information." "I could see he was very reluctant about me knowing his first name so I decided not to mention it again."

BowdonUK · 26 Apr 2018 at 20:49

x-st said:
Did you read the first post? - "You have no idea how hard it was to get this information." "I could see he was very reluctant about me knowing his first name so I decided not to mention it again."

I did read the first post.

Maybe the guy was just shy to give details, as is normal for people.

If the guy didnt want him to say his name then he should have said when he told him.

OP obviously made a mistake and wouldn't have said the name if he was told the guy didn't want him to. So the fact the guy stopped communicating with him tells me he didnt give a damn about the friendship anyway.

If you're in a friendship then you have invested time in the other person. To walk off risking the friendship then he didnt invest much in it.

x-st, if you don't want people knowing your first name then 1. don't tell people, or 2, if you do tell someone tell them not to say it in open channel. If the person then says it in open channel then I can agree it would be a trust broken.

Kaeo · 26 Apr 2018 at 20:51

*checks GD* ... Carry on.

Ocean Breeze · 26 Apr 2018 at 22:50

Some people just need to grow up.

rubberduck · 26 Apr 2018 at 23:25

I honestly don't believe it was a simple case of the OP letting the guys name 'slip'.... If you are used to calling people by their online handle it actually takes a concentrated effort to break that habbit and interchange their real name in to an online VoIP etc... I have no idea why the OP felt the need to force his 'friends' real name out in the first place, clearly against his own preferance.... You should have just respected his wish and moved on as opposed to forcing the issue.

I need to be careful with what I say as I am getting close to a perma... But in this situation I genuinely belive OP is being forceful, manipulative and has taken advantage of his 'friends' good will.... The fact he is now created this thread in GD to try and absolve himself of any blame is a poor reflection on his actions... Clearly GD is not the best place for this somewhat sesnitive issue so it seems he was just after the 'LOL brigade' to back up his poor judgement and actions in all of this... In the grand scheme of things ofc this is a non-event but all the people who are laughing please go and read the menal health thread to realise perspective is everything.

OP I think you need to self-reflect about your motivations in all this.

Bluntwrapped · 27 Apr 2018 at 09:42

The desire to remain anonymous while online is understandable and should remain established old school etiquette. It is up to the owner of the name and avatar to decide how they wish to be known, especially in the context of all games offering some degree of role play. Using first names generally is a no no. It may be an unwritten rule but stick to the name the person chooses.

I used to play WoW, I’d be in a raid group of 25-40 people and whenever I heard someone refer to someone else by first name I would cringe inside. I do get it - some wish to make friends online on first name basis, but most want to use it as an escape from normality and remain anonymous.

Combining in game terminology with real names will always be cringeworthy as hell.

“Craig, what is your crit rating?” Or “Craig make sure you cast arcane brilliance on the raid group” any third party hearing that would understandably be like WTF, how lame is that lol.

LeeUK · 27 Apr 2018 at 11:24

If some online gaming buddy sent me a private message warning me not to say his name again I would just cut all ties and block him. Not worth the hassle and certainly isn't a real friendship.

SC0TTRS · 27 Apr 2018 at 12:01

"Blown out of proportion!"

BTW that's my 1st name <<<<< or is it?!? :eek:

the plot thickens!..#mindblown