Yep me too...
Nothing like mates who will just let a friendship fizzle out unless you keep the contact going. Ive known loads of people like that and in the end I just thought screw it. If they cant be bothd neither can I.
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- Thread starter Jamie1984
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Yep me too...
Nothing like mates who will just let a friendship fizzle out unless you keep the contact going. Ive known loads of people like that and in the end I just thought screw it. If they cant be bothd neither can I.
Associate
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- 29 Jan 2006
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Thats a tough call and I have been there myself. Where do you draw the line in the sand between it being that the person can't be bothered, or genuinely is too busy. When peoples paths in life take them in different directions, even not geographically; it can be very hard to make it work.
Theres no real point to the above. Just something to consider.
Personally speaking I am in the same boat. I met a lot of people at uni, most of whom I like very well but only 3 I would consider friends I will have in ten years or more.
If you have any social hobbies be it sports, book clubs, movie clubs, role playing games (not on consoles/pcs...), warhammer/modelling and re-enactment, art ect ect ec; look into local groups you can join. Very often meeting people who share similar passions is the first step to a strong friendship.
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My line was drawn after several attempts from me over a period of months and years, at keeping contact and not one from the other person (people).
Screw em, life's too short.
Soldato
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- 12 May 2007
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- Bristol
Back in Canada, I went through a 2 year period where I had zero friends. I would work as night manager/audit at a hotel by myself for most of the night and then come home to my apartment, sleep, wake up... sit online and play games until I had to go to work again. I worked alone and lived alone.
Eventually, my now fiancee moved over to Canada and I also met the guy who's now my best friend... but I've noticed that my social skills are lacking now. Especially considering how much of a people person I was before I went through my 'alone time'. I used to have tons of good friends. It's not that I'm unlikeable - It's just that I have absolutely nothing to say. I spent so much time by myself thinking instead of talking, my conversational skills are non existant.
.. so yeah, you're certainly not the only one with problems.
Eventually, my now fiancee moved over to Canada and I also met the guy who's now my best friend... but I've noticed that my social skills are lacking now. Especially considering how much of a people person I was before I went through my 'alone time'. I used to have tons of good friends. It's not that I'm unlikeable - It's just that I have absolutely nothing to say. I spent so much time by myself thinking instead of talking, my conversational skills are non existant.
.. so yeah, you're certainly not the only one with problems.
In the same boat here. I work for a small company where most of the other workers are female with partners so don't really socialise with then outside work.
I think it is a good idea for local forum members to meetup and get better acquainted and maybe spark up new friendships???
I think it is a good idea for local forum members to meetup and get better acquainted and maybe spark up new friendships???
i was worried about this when i arrived at uni , luckily im a nice guy apparently so i just got drunk and made friends with everyone i seen lol , few of them are good mates now
i find nearly everyone is friendly if you are friendly to them
except the pub full of geordies chanting im a smoggy *******
i find nearly everyone is friendly if you are friendly to them
except the pub full of geordies chanting im a smoggy *******
Associate
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I can definitely relate to this, I always try to arrange something but they cant be bothered to phone or do anything. Its quite annoying and rude so Ive given up for a while.
I'm much the same at the moment. 19 years old and only have a couple of friends still around my area, most are at uni. I'm not in a career as such (doing the London Knowledge) and don't have a lot of money to socialise. I've never had a girlfriend and I'm too shy and nervous to really speak to new people. This situation doesn't arise much though, since most of the time all we do is stay in and play poker, or go round the pub for a couple of drinks, but most of the people there are a bit older than us. I work at an estate agents on a Saturday but I'm much more of the quiet type, while estate agents are all loud party animals, so I don't fancy going out with them really. Most of my mates also struggle for money so going out to have a big night in London or something pretty much never happens. It does get me down and I wonder, what is the point in getting a taxi licence so I can earn £40-£50k a year yet have very few friends? I really want to go travelling a lot when I'm earning some money, but who with? 
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Deleted member 58846
Deleted member 58846
usually its to do with characters and personality. I work a lot so don't have time for socialising. When I am not at work I am at home with my feet up, eating, watching TV. Sounds sad at 22 but I'm not a sheep. I do what I want, when I want with who I want. It's my attitude to life. Sometimes have a bad part of lonlyness feeling but I get over it the next day.
get busy living. join clubs, go to fitness classes at your local gym, join a cycling club, or what are your social interests? do you like football? join a 5 a side league. basically sign up to things like that then you are committed to go and once your there you are forced in to situation with people and then you make friends with them.invite people out for drinks, add them on bebo/facebook and get chatting. the best advice i can give you is to make yourself as busy as possible, the more your out the house the more chance you have of making friends!
I used to be like that, and what friendfs I did make chopped and changed regularly.
Now I have emmigrated and have the best friends I have ever had.
Getting a girlfriend is still elusive. My only real long term gf was found in the US. I guess me and the UK don't get along too well.
Now I have emmigrated and have the best friends I have ever had.
Getting a girlfriend is still elusive. My only real long term gf was found in the US. I guess me and the UK don't get along too well.
I find that wierd, i've had mates I could go out with on a night out since I was about 12. I don't get how you can't have gotten any by uni, did you never go out drinking in your teens? Or to partys?
At 27 i'm glad to say I live back in swindon, got lots of old mates, lots of new ones, and I still stay in contact and go out with with most of my oxford uni mates.
At 27 i'm glad to say I live back in swindon, got lots of old mates, lots of new ones, and I still stay in contact and go out with with most of my oxford uni mates.
I have quite a few people with whom I could go out drinking, but whom I wouldn't necessarily call mates. It's not difficult to be friendly when you're hammered
Conversely my best friends are the ones I can talk to for hours without alcohol or a dancefloor.
ok a bit of an update, apparently (after speaking to one of the lads from college) there are at least 6 people confirmed to come on the night out and i only invited 4, theyve got till tomorrow night to wriggle out of it though im trying to suppress my cynical side cos they do seem like nice people.
Were going out in newcaslte and starting at the quayside bar (anyone welcome, pm me!)
And i think next week ill get a lift to college on the night time cos there's always one or two off for a pint after which i pass up cos im always tired and driving!
So, dont wanna build my hopes up too much (as experience tells me not to!) but ill start being more proactive with my friendlyness.
thanks for all the replies, its good to know im not alone in how i feel.
You know, its just the little things that make me feel odd like when youre having a conversation and someone says something like "what do your friends think?" or "going out with your mates this weekend" and i dont want to lie but i dont wanna look a saddo!
Anyhoo Its late and ive been up since 6...ill report back after my night out.
Were going out in newcaslte and starting at the quayside bar (anyone welcome, pm me!)
And i think next week ill get a lift to college on the night time cos there's always one or two off for a pint after which i pass up cos im always tired and driving!
So, dont wanna build my hopes up too much (as experience tells me not to!) but ill start being more proactive with my friendlyness.
thanks for all the replies, its good to know im not alone in how i feel.
You know, its just the little things that make me feel odd like when youre having a conversation and someone says something like "what do your friends think?" or "going out with your mates this weekend" and i dont want to lie but i dont wanna look a saddo!
Anyhoo Its late and ive been up since 6...ill report back after my night out.
You sound the same as me.
I'm pretty sociable but have only one person I would actually call a friend. I had loads of friends at school/6th form. Then I went to study in Southampton and made a new group of friends but didn't really keep in touch with my old friends. Now I've moved back to Norwich I've lost touch with my old mates in Southampton.
I think the problem I have is I like meeting up with people and having a chat but I feel awkward picking up the phone just for a random chat. Email I associate with work. MSN is ok but more of an in between websites sort of thing than something I use to chat properly.
I recently signed up to facebook and am getting back in touch with people I haven't seen in years which is cool.
so here's an update:
All of the people came out, the guys seem good people and im sure we'll be going out again soon. Oh and i discovered magners last night.....mmmmm.
I think the best advice is to just be friendly with people and of course arrange nights out.
All of the people came out, the guys seem good people and im sure we'll be going out again soon. Oh and i discovered magners last night.....mmmmm.
I think the best advice is to just be friendly with people and of course arrange nights out.