Funny sayings request

bainbridge · 18 Aug 2011 at 13:33

"He's one sandwich short of a picnic".

"The lights are on but nobody is home".

I hear lot's of these sayings but never remember them, please can people post the ones they know, thanks.

Dark Sun · 18 Aug 2011 at 13:33

"There goes the neighbourhood!"

MikeHunt79 · 18 Aug 2011 at 13:35

The wheel is turning but the hamster is dead.

ianh · 18 Aug 2011 at 13:41

2 from work on Tuesday -

Whilst in a dark area - "Pass me that screwdriver so I can see better"

On about grinding your teeth - "He's got a full head of teeth!"

The poor lads from Wick and he's got a book at work full of his Wickism's

PaulyD · 18 Aug 2011 at 13:41

"Better late than pregnant"

Vonhelmet · 18 Aug 2011 at 13:43

Cosimo · 18 Aug 2011 at 13:46

"You’re never too old to learn something stupid"

citizenx13 · 18 Aug 2011 at 13:47

"Not the sharpest tool in the shed"
"The engine is running but no one is behind the wheel"
"One hammer short of a toolbox"

will those do?

StoutMeister · 18 Aug 2011 at 13:51

She has a face like a bulldog licking **** off a nettle.

Face like a welders bench.

" " " badgers arse.

utajoker · 18 Aug 2011 at 13:56

"wetter than an otters pocket"

Cleeecooo · 18 Aug 2011 at 13:58

Dark Sun said:
"There goes the neighbourhood!"

"there goes my virginity"

utajoker · 18 Aug 2011 at 13:59

Cleeecooo said:
"there goes my virginity"

i guess you could only use that one once.

Jono · 18 Aug 2011 at 14:00

As slack as a wizard's sleeve
As much use as Ann Frank's drum kit
As much use as Stephen Hawking's football boots

Bill101 · 18 Aug 2011 at 14:23

One of my all time favourites from a book where someone is describing his son-in-law
''so stupid he could have a conversation with a rock..........and they would both find it a rewarding experience''
another one of his
''to stupid to fall out of a tree''

MuttsNutts · 18 Aug 2011 at 14:34

Northern Sayings BTW.

To take the mick out of someone's new shoe's "Look at them Brothel Creepers"

or if someone is wereing sandals "check out them Nike Air Jerusalem's"

The classic "Fit as a Buchters Dog"
or
"Yorkshire Born Yorkshire Bread, Strong in the arm but Think in the Head"

markweatherill · 18 Aug 2011 at 14:46

'The 08:30 train of thought has been delayed due to sawdust in the skull'

ticklemebougy · 18 Aug 2011 at 14:47

As much use as a ****(Man part) flavored lollipop.

As much use as a one legged man in an *** kicking competition

PapaLazaru · 18 Aug 2011 at 14:49

You are too stupid even to insult.

I'm sweating like John Leslie.

mufcmark · 18 Aug 2011 at 14:52

You couldn't hit a donkey's arse with a banjo

[TW]Sponge · 18 Aug 2011 at 14:55

You're a few prawns short of a full seafood platter.