Funny sayings request

Philtor · 21 Aug 2011 at 02:26

Mr Gimp said:
First it looked like a delicate flower, but when I'd finished it was like a bulldog eating porridge.

EniGmA1981 · 21 Aug 2011 at 07:50

"You couldn't pull a rotten tooth out of a dead donkey's head"

"Sweating like a pig at a barbecue"

"You couldn't find your ass with both hands"

"...got a head like a bag of rusty spanners" (about a ginge)

"He's crimping a length"/"...bombing nappyville"/"...baking a brownie" (when my son's stinking the house out...)

secretspy · 21 Aug 2011 at 08:43

Zefan said:
TAKING candy from a baby. How does giving candy makes sense ?

:Edit: Well apparently it's actually very popular according to google... it's still taking though!

Yeah I realised when I just re read it but I'm sure I've heard people say giving as well.

Raining cats and dogs
if its cold I say its nippy noodles (from a book)
If it ain't broke don't fix it

Destination · 21 Aug 2011 at 19:44

You know as much about that as a pig does about ...

a holiday.

or

a white sheet.

Hedge · 21 Aug 2011 at 20:25

***** like a binmans cuff
He's got one eye going to the shop and the other coming back with the change
He can watch a game of tennis without moving his head.
Been cocked more times than a farmers shotgun

LOAM · 21 Aug 2011 at 20:35

One wave short of a shipwreck

mattyfez · 21 Aug 2011 at 20:42

You're so tight, if you ate some coal you would **** diamonds.

Saint1972 · 21 Aug 2011 at 20:42

He's that stupid he got wisdom teeth put in.

Limpnoodle · 21 Aug 2011 at 20:46

i'd look good hanging out of her arse

and boobs like a sack of nails

arc@css · 21 Aug 2011 at 20:47

Slap my thigh with a large banana.

Maximum Triceratops · 21 Aug 2011 at 21:17

Your about as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit.

Fuzz · 21 Aug 2011 at 21:59

Lower than a snakes ass in a coal mine

They are like two puppies fighting in a bag

I'd bang her barn door clean off its hinges.

Sweating like a ******(racist description of a black man) on a rape charge

mehuk · 21 Aug 2011 at 22:19

Tighter than a mouses ear

weringo · 21 Aug 2011 at 22:27

"A face like Dot Cotton licking **** off a nettle"
"As useless as a marzipan *****"

/Malcom Tucker

davew · 21 Aug 2011 at 23:12

"only got one oar in the water"

Sin_Chase · 21 Aug 2011 at 23:17

Sweating like a rapist
I need to go water the porcelain
Tight as a ducks arse
Straight as a nine bob note

VoG · 21 Aug 2011 at 23:25

about as low as whale excrement ( polite version just for ocuk

)
needs must when the devils biting your arse

Mr Blonde · 21 Aug 2011 at 23:28

As tight as a Camel's arse in a sandstorm
As sweaty as a glass blowers bum
Face like a robber's dog
Face like a bag of spanners

stickman1 · 22 Aug 2011 at 02:10

as much use as an ashtray on a motorbike

as much use as a ham sandwich at a Bar Mitzvah

a face that only a mother could love

st00dent · 22 Aug 2011 at 09:47

As much use as Amy Winehouse's donor card.