Funny sayings request

Fezzer · 22 Aug 2011 at 09:54

As useful as a condom machine in the Vatican.

Like a dead heat in a blimp race.

The Dread Pirate · 22 Aug 2011 at 09:57

Well I'll go to foot of our stairs!

Ysmalari · 22 Aug 2011 at 10:37

She looks like she fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down!

A face like it was set on fire and put out with a shovel!

Moogman · 22 Aug 2011 at 10:51

Face like a well smacked arse
Goes down like a granny on a cold morning!

Mr Blonde · 22 Aug 2011 at 11:00

Moogman said:
Goes down like a granny on a cold morning!

LOL

SteveOBHave · 22 Aug 2011 at 12:04

Has a full six pack but lacks the plastic thingy holding it together.
Has hit rock bottom and started digging.

Shayper · 22 Aug 2011 at 12:35

Sweating like a lesbian in a cucumber field.

Sweating like a paedo in a playground.

As much use as Ipswich Town FC.

Sweating like an Ethiopian in a supermarket.

Sweating like the Mcanns near a jcb.

You are so thick there are no suitable insults.

I have more, just gotta remember them

Apple_Fictor · 22 Aug 2011 at 12:53

Your a few fingers short of a high 5!

Col_M · 22 Aug 2011 at 12:58

Pretty racist but...
"It's Pearl Harbour today" - i.e. there's a nasty nip in the air

esK` · 22 Aug 2011 at 13:20

"Dropping the kids off at the pool" - ( toilet humour )

"About as stable as a 1 legged rocking horse"

"shes got a **** like a witches cave"

"about as much use as a fart in a cullender"

TFleming · 22 Aug 2011 at 13:51

Sweating like MJ in a nursery.
Your breath kicks like Bruce Lee

Terrier_Jimlad · 22 Aug 2011 at 13:54

"he's not a full bag of chips"

EniGmA1981 · 23 Aug 2011 at 08:04

"it's like looking for a fart in a jacuzzi"

"you're like a crab on stilts"

The Dread Pirate · 23 Aug 2011 at 10:03

Rats and Icecream!

GravyMonster · 23 Aug 2011 at 10:06

Sweating like a Jew in a butchers.