Funny / weird stories

[ProStreet]

Thought I could start a thread for people to post their funny / weird stories.

I'll start off..

My gf and I were in Havana and went to a cabaret show. Had a few drinks and after the show got a taxi to the hotel which was about a 10 min drive away. I was being tight and was asking a few taxi drivers for the cheapest rate. We stumbled across this driver which seemed legit and he said 15 cuc (cuc is pegged to the dollar 1/1).

We arrived at the hotel (more like casa) and I gave my gf my wallet to get the money out. I got out of the rear right passenger seat. My gf paid and then about 5 seconds after the taxi drove off I realised that my brand new Samsung note phone wasn't in my pocket. We shouted and ran after the taxi but he didn't stop...

Being in Havana means you do not have cellular internet unless you get these internet access cards which give you like 2hr wifi access in certain spots for 5 cuc. We went to one of these zones and tried to find my phone but no luck...

Next day we went to the Cuban police station in Havana. It felt quite shady, and we thought we was going to get locked up for some reason. We explained the story and a soon while later was in the back of a Cuban police car with two officers.

They wanted to do a re-run of what happened and so drove us to the cabaret show. It was quite funny as we were in the back and the officers were smoking cigars.. bit like in the movies. They also do this funny thing where they just beep cars out of the way instead of using a siren.

We got to the cabaret show and they spoke to the staff and asked for any cctv etc... Nothing came out of it. They then drove us to our hotel where they did a test. Because I thought the driver had leaned over from the left driver seat to my seat and took my phone out of my pocket. The test was could a person in the driver seat lean over and reach to the rear right seat. They ruled it "IMPOSSIBLE" ...

...They wrote up a report of it and then got a translator to translate it from Spanish to English. We then had to go back to the station and they were about 5 officers around us and they said they couldn't do anything and said we were free to continue our holiday....

Upon reflection we should have just forgotten about the phone and not reported it as it was a waste of time, but the Cuban police car journey was quite fun.

 

[Rroff]

Moral of the story always use a "stunt" phone for holidays in less developed countries, etc.

 

[rainbowGuy]

was there not a gps tracker app on teh phone?

 

[randomshenans]

*cool starry bra jpg*

 

[ProStreet]

was there not a gps tracker app on teh phone?

GPS needs internet and there was no internet

 

[secretspy]

I rate that story 4/10

I will never forget the time I went to the Dominican republic when i was 20, i think, with my bf at the time. He was a proper **** one of these guys who can't laugh at himself if something embarrassing happens, thinks he's the bees knees etc etc etc

We were standing by one of the pool bars one late afternoon chatting to this lady we had befriended. I was answering the lady whilst bf was to the side listening when he sneezed and said he'd be right back.

He'd had a weird expression before he left and I thought it was out of annoyance that I was still talking.
He used the toilets that were near the pool area and when he came back he had his shirt tucked in the back of his shorts. Of course I was still talking to this lady but watching him approach thinking "oh here we go, what's he trying to do now, does he think he looks cool like that "

When he reached me he said " ok we need to go now" and being that he was the kind of guy you didn't argue with I said goodbye to the lady and we made our way back to our hotel room

Once we were walking down the path way out of ear shot he asked me if I could see anything on his shirt. Confused, I checked it and confirmed "no" and asked why
At which point he gave me a sheepish look and tells me

"I sneezed and **** myself"



Needless to say I found it absolutely hilarious and I regularly re tell it to family as a laugh

 

[ProStreet]

Haha.. keep them coming..

A second one from me, hopefully can get more than 4/10 .

My gf and I were in our flat (large block of flats, we were on a level with a communal outside area), due to go on holiday to Thailand the following day. I was sitting on the sofa quite lazily whilst my gf was taking the bins down (don't judge me, I do my chores..). My gf comes through the patio door and locks it. Suddenly a few moments later I hear huge thumps at the patio door.

I reluctantly get up from the sofa to check it out and open the curtains and see this crazed mad man froffing from the mouth continuing to thump at our patio door trying to get in. I'm like WTF and say what are you doing etc... He then says your gf stole my gf clothes. I'm even more WTF. He then says I threw my gf clothes from my balcony and it landed in your patio and I saw your gf with the black bag. I then explained to him calmly that my gf did not steal your gf clothes.

He looked seriously drugged up and I thought he was going to break the door, and given we were going away I didn't want this to happen so I opened it and told him to back off. He backed off a bit and went to the courtyard.

He was extremely loud and there were many neighbours from their balcony's looking at this brawl. I never punched him, and just defended myself but he kept on coming towards me and grabbed me by my neck etc. The police were called. The guy then ran into the flat communal areas and was smashing all the windows.

I went back into my flat and sat on the sofa. The police came. They said the guy was wielding a knife in his flat and the police needed a statement from me to get a warrant. Whilst the police was here I was looking at BBC news as you do, and there was breaking news. Terrible attack at Atatürk airport (was connecting there for the flight to Bangkok). We gave the statement and thought that was it.

We got a bit paranoid as the guy knew where we lived and so started packing all of our expensive tech to take to my gf parents . Whilst taking the stuff to the car we go to the stairwell and see a whole SWAT team with assault rifles.... I'm like wtf again. The guy was still in his flat with his gf with a knife and wasn't opening the door. We go down the stairs and there's like a further 10 swat team on the floor. I jokingly said to them 'best robbery ever' whilst walking past with all this expensive gear. They chuckled.

We then frantically book another flight to Bangkok, connecting through Dubai instead. We go to my gf parents and go to sleep. At about 4am I start throwing up wildly. Like really really sick. We miss the early Dubai flight. My gf gets me some sick pills and we manage to go to the airport to try and catch the original flight, which to our surprise was still running, just a bit delayed. We get to Atatürk airport, and miss our connection flight to Bangkok. But it's grim, we see the blood outside the airport that wasnt cleaned from the night before and we get taken to this hotel to stay at. We finally reach Bangkok and then had another flight to koh samui.

We arrive at koh samui and our hotel is waiting for us with a speedboat to koh phangan. We arrive at the hotel and have a pleasant time except for my gf also getting sick. Happy holidays.

 

[dirtychinchilla]

Not sure if I’ve put this on here before...apologies if it’s a repeat.

my band played a gig last year at The Dublin Castle in Camden. It’s a famous pub venue that used to be part of the London tour circuit. It’s pretty grotty nowadays. I believe it’s most recent claim to fame is that it’s the pub Amy Winehouse used to drink at.

We played second or third after at least one awesome band. The headliner for the night was this punk band called The Soap Girls - look them up. They’re two South African sisters and a male drummer. A big part of their thing is feminism and therefore having the right to be essentially naked whenever they want. And they are, regularly. I saw them in the back room having their bodies painted. They had pants on but that was it.

After we’d played we were sat outside with some friends having a drink. Their manager, who’s also South African and clearly loopy, came out and started talking to us. She showed us their new album and said, “Do you like the album? We made all the art ourselves.”

I had a look. It was the sisters in all sorts of erotic positions together. The whole thing was ******* weird. I said to her, “It’s quite pornographic. Why is that?” It was an honest question, I mean why would you be taking these soft core porn shots with your sister?? I know sex sells, and this show was case in point because the band sucked, but all the middle aged men thoroughly enjoyed the show.

The manager went nuts. She shouted at me for about 20 minutes just rambling about all sorts of crap like, “people like you are the problem these days. You ******* Tory [anyone who knows me knows that the opposite is true], don’t you like ****? What’s your ******* problem, these girls have a right to express themselves” etc. I was quite happy seeing their ****, why wouldn’t I be? I’m all for freedom of expression so great. She roped all sorts of people in to blame me for being part of the patriarchy etc.

I thought it was hilarious, but also quite disturbing. Eventually she was like, “you want to see ****? I’ll show you ****!” and pulled up her top and showed me hers. I had no complaints there...nice rack and freely given. She was a little old but whatever. I think at that point she gave up though. She just went around telling everyone that the bassist from the band was a misogynistic *****. It got a mention in their show too...the one with all the middle aged men taking photos of the half naked women half their age.

Speaking to the band afterwards, apparently this woman had told them that at one of the venues they’d played, they’d asked her to turn it down or something. So, she **** in a cup and threw it all over the venue. And I think there was some **** involved too...mentalist.

This was all worth it for the story though.