Thanks for the recommendations guys. I've just youtube'd the gameplay of all of the above. Sadly nothing quite fits the bill.
As for me saying realistic - I simply meant like C&C Generals - Tanks, infantry, jets, helicopters e.t.c , rather than guys in suits and walking machines e.t.c in C&C tiberium wars.
I love generals & generals zero hour but would quite like to play somthing similar. Also the first age of empires I used to love - sadly the carton 2nd version put me off.
So yea, anything where you can build a base and then an army as such.