Go to the quad when you have a free period and hold up a sign. What goes on the sign is up to you. Could be anything as unoriginal as "free hugs" to "want sexy times, will pay". Or anything in between. A girl will come up to you and ask you a question. You will respond quizzically. They will pause, tilt their head slightly while staring at you as if you might be mad. Then you notice a slight smile on their face. It's contagious, and you smile too. You both laugh and then they say "Hey, listen - me and a few mates were going to go round Lex's later for a few drinks, fancy coming along?" You will, of course, respond in the affirmative. You write their number on your forearm before rushing off to class, where you already know what you're being taught and you're distracted by the possibility of what might happen later. "Me... friends? Could it be?" you think to yourself. The lecturer asks you a question, but you weren't listening. You say "Sorry, i was miles away - can you repeat the question?" They act annoyed with you and, in a disappointed tone exclaim something along the lines of "bla bla bla if you don't pay attention bla bla drop out bla bla binman bla i'm unhappy with my life bla bla bla is that what you want allnow?" You just stare at them blankly before saying "**** this," picking up your bag and craigslist netbook which you say you use for notes but really you're just on Reddit all the time and walk out of the room. You have a few hours to kill so you go for a walk, but you're in town and you constantly worry about what every passer by thinks of you. "Spotty," "Delinquent hoody," "Why has he got a rucksack on at this hour? Must have bunked class. I would hate to be that guy's parent." It's surprisingly sunny for this time of year and you feel the need to get a drink. You walk into the nearest Starbucks and feel extremely awkward that there's no queue and yet you're not ordering because you don't know what to get. You think you recognize the person behind the counter from high school, but you can't be sure. After a few seconds you still don't know what to get but you can't stand the awkwardness any longer, so you pick something you see that's cheap but not the cheapest so they don't think you're not doing well in life. "Americano to go please," you say to the person behind the counter, who seems to have zoned out in the few seconds you've been standing there. You hand them the money while thinking to yourself "Americano? Come on allnow, that's a baby's coffee. So milky... urgh." They offer the cup to you, you take it, mutter "keep the change" and quickly walk out before they can judge you for your poor choice of beverage. You walk for a few more minutes before deciding to drink the coffee on a park bench. While you're watching the dogs play you muse about how much easier they have it. As you're thinking you don't notice the girl you met this morning walk up to you with a few friends. "Not disturbing you, are we?" she says. You stand up to avoid having to deal with the awkwardness of the difference in eye level, or that of standing up later in the middle of a conversation. "Not at all, just killing time." You reply. "Sounds like a hard job. What you drinking?" she asks. Not wanting to let on that you're a baby you try to think of a more manly coffee. "Espresso," you blurt out. She does a cute laugh. "Espresso? In that cup? You're kidding, right?" You realize how much of an idiot you've been and try to laugh with them so you don't look weird, but it's too late and the awkwardness level goes up another notch. She shakes her head slightly. "Whatever. Listen, we were just going to get some drinks for tonight. You game?" You're not much of a drinker, in fact you don't think you've ever been properly 'drunk'. You also realize that you spent most of your money on that damned, overpriced coffee. "Yeah, sure. Lead the way," you say. "I guess i could use that tenner i keep behind my phone battery. I was kind of saving it, but it's worth it if i can make it with these people. They seem decent enough," you think to yourself. Along the way you make a few awkward attempts to converse with the girl's friends, a few of which end in uncomfortable silences. But you really seem to hit it off with the girl. That girl... you've sneaked a few glances at her when you think she isn't looking and she really is quite pretty. A little short, but you start to think you might like that. There's something different about her, and after a few minutes you realize that she isn't wearing any make up. She doesn't need it. As you look at her hands, which are wonderfully petite and slender... fingernails are maybe a bit too long, but you won't care, you see something written in biro. The letters "D-F-T-B-A". She's a nerd girl! That explains why she isn't physically repulsed by you. You decide not to mention it and soon you arrive at the alcohol procurement location. Skillfully you have managed to access the tenner in your pocket without anybody seeing, so you avoid looking weird there. But you haven't put any thought into what you want to get with it. You don't know much about alcohol at the best of times, but now you have to pick something manly enough to make you not seem like a lightweight and something that doesn't taste like it came from a goat's behind? After a while, and all while fretting about which order you're going to go in it's your turn. You were behind... that girl. She got bud. That's a good enough choice, you think. "I'll have what she's having," you say as you hand over your 'emergency tenner', "and keep the change." Damn. You didn't mean to say that, you've already spent the rest of the week's lunch money. Oh well, can't take it back now. When you're all outside you decide you should go home to get ready and agree on a meeting place. Before you leave you quickly exchange numbers with the rest of the crew. On the way back you suddenly realize that you don't know her name. "****". Come on, think. "Lex?" No, that's who's house it's at. Could you text one of her friends? No, they'd definitely tell her. Hopefully somebody will say it when you meet up. After spending far too long at home worrying about what clothes to wear, what to bring and fretting about spots when you look in the mirror just before you were about to leave you make your way to the meeting place. As you see the sun start to set you check your phone. You realize you're already ten minutes late, and you're still five minutes walk away. Picking up your pace you curse yourself for being such an idiot, and hope they don't think you've ditched them. You're close, but you realize you should prepare yourself for them not being there. Trust you to **** up your chance at actually being friends with some decent people for a change. You turn the corner and see they're not waiting there. Your heart sinks. But then, a cheer. You turn around to see the group, plus one other who you presume is Lex sitting under a tree, with the girl leaning against it. She has one leg resting on it, and she looks bite the back of your hand gorgeous. It's made all the sweeter with the sun setting over the rooftops behind her. Still no make up. You breath a sigh of relief that they're still here, then immediately regret it, thinking you might have overdone it. But then you notice that she wasn't cheering with the others (who you realize have probably already had a drink to loosen up, and wish you'd done the same). She was just smiling. At you. A beautiful, slightly playful smile. Mission accomplished. You have a whole new group of really decent friends, who'll wait for you even though they've known you for less than an afternoon. You've learned a lot about how to interact with people, which god knows you need. But most importantly you have a perfect love interest, who you think you might actually have a chance with. Assuming you don't **** anything else up. And you have PermaBanned to thank for it all.
God damnit, what is that girl's name?
Alternatively, just get out more. Punk.
