Getting into politics

Sawell

Sawell

Sawell

Associate
Joined
7 Sep 2005
Posts
1,703
Location
Southampton
Where is a good place to start, local government?

I know some kid near me who got elected as a local Councillor, he effectively got into it by getting all of his friends and family to vote more than the others, going door to door etc. But that really put me off; as he's a massive of liability - his facebook is always basically plastered with pictures of him drunk every other day. Nice.

I don't know. I feel like I should be prime minister though. I figure I should get on the path now.
 
Sawell said:
he effectively got into it by getting all of his friends and family to vote more than the others.
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That's pretty much how you get ellected. It's all a big popularity contest and you need a USP (for example, be black).

Heaven forbid would happen to a meritocratic society. Things might actually get done.
 
Firstly you need to do whatever the Americans tell you to do.

Secondly, move in with a relative and claim it is your main residence to qualify for extortionate allowances.

Thirdly, get your other half to claim for porno movies and make sure it's claimed back from the taxpayer.

Lastly, employ your family as paper shufflers on £40,000 a year.
 
I think I've figured it all out guys.

The way to become a politician is to be a slimy weasel. I think this is the reason we have them in power.

Perhaps I can start some sort of reform, alpha-based competitions. Are you man enough to grab England by the balls and steer it in the right direction?
 
Von Smallhausen said:
Firstly you need to do whatever the Americans tell you to do.

Secondly, move in with a relative and claim it is your main residence to qualify for extortionate allowances.

Thirdly, get your other half to claim for porno movies and make sure it's claimed back from the taxpayer.

Lastly, employ your family as paper shufflers on £40,000 a year.
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Lol :)
 
Von Smallhausen said:
Firstly you need to do whatever the Americans tell you to do.

Secondly, move in with a relative and claim it is your main residence to qualify for extortionate allowances.

Thirdly, get your other half to claim for porno movies and make sure it's claimed back from the taxpayer.

Lastly, employ your family as paper shufflers on £40,000 a year.
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You also have to make sure you're one ugly Scottish puppydog *******.

No seriously - the impression I get in order to get anywhere in politics, you still need to be of the right "stock" e.g. have an Oxbridge degree etc. etc.
 
Find an MP who is in a bit of a shaky seat and who has angered their constituents in some way (probably to do with the expenses scandal) - come up with a half-decent manifesto and stand as an independent, probably won't work but what have you got to lose (apart from your deposit if you don't get enough votes).

N.B.: it helps if you are a celebrity, so perhaps work on that first - it's not like you need any real talent to be a slebrity in the UK.
 
Having no shame whatsoever is a great start. Being able to lie through your teeth and not twitch a muscle would also come in handy. In general, a shameless slimeball that tries and jump on every news worthy issue to get his ugly mug in the media, and then lie about it when it doesn't pan out.
 
Why do you want to become a politician? Aside from all the obvious jokes about being corrupt, sleazy etc what is it that attracts you to being a politician? If it's just "dunno what else I want to do with my life" then with the best will in the World you're hardly a great candidate.

I'm pretty firmly of the opinion that anyone who wants to be a politician should be deemed to have automatically ruled themselves out of the running (I'm sure there is a quote to that effect but sadly I cannot remember the author).
 
semi-pro waster said:
Why do you want to become a politician? Aside from all the obvious jokes about being corrupt, sleazy etc what is it that attracts you to being a politician? If it's just "dunno what else I want to do with my life" then with the best will in the World you're hardly a great candidate.

I'm pretty firmly of the opinion that anyone who wants to be a politician should be deemed to have automatically ruled themselves out of the running (I'm sure there is a quote to that effect but sadly I cannot remember the author).
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Why'd you assume that?

It came about due to one of my friends joining the police force, I told them I'd considered it but I thought I'd probably get frustrated due to the amount I wanted to help our society change, rather than just facilitate the wrong. Then I said jokingly 'I should probably become a politician' and friends, being friends, jumped on it and said I'd make a great one etc.

kwerk said:
Would you work for a company £800 billion in debt?
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I'd work to help that company, yes.
 
Sawell said:
Why'd you assume that?

It came about due to one of my friends joining the police force, I told them I'd considered it but I thought I'd probably get frustrated due to the amount I wanted to help our society change, rather than just facilitate the wrong. Then I said jokingly 'I should probably become a politician' and friends, being friends, jumped on it and said I'd make a great one etc.
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I didn't assume anything, that's why I asked you what attracted you to being a politician. I said that if you didn't have a (good) reason then you wouldn't make a good candidate but that's pretty much a given. If you want to try and change society then that's a good starting point because it's a path where you are likely to have numerous setbacks and have to accept many compromises so unless you've got something to sustain your interest (i.e. your belief that you can help change society) then it is quite possible you'd get disillusioned well before you got near any real power.
 
Sawell said:
Why'd you assume that?

It came about due to one of my friends joining the police force, I told them I'd considered it but I thought I'd probably get frustrated due to the amount I wanted to help our society change, rather than just facilitate the wrong. Then I said jokingly 'I should probably become a politician' and friends, being friends, jumped on it and said I'd make a great one etc.
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Seems like you have a good reason to get into politics, if you can make a difference you should try to do that, the more decent honest people in politics the better.
 
OldComputerGuy7 said:
Seems like you have a good reason to get into politics, if you can make a difference you should try to do that, the more decent honest people in politics the better.
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More like the less politicians the better. I don't understand this feudal mentality that Brits feel they must be lorded over by an army of civil servants for things to be alright. The government is 800 billion in debt yet everyone thinks more public sector non-jobs will fix it? The size of the government is unsustainable and I wouldn't be surprised if it was cut in half over the next 20 years. Doesn't anyone remember what happened to the Soviet Union?

ETA:

"One in four workers in the UK's cities are employed by the public sector, and six months after completing their studies 52 per cent of all recent graduates work in public service positions."

^-- Something wrong with that IMO.
 
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Kiss a lot of ass.

Become a 'militant' student and do all of the Union elections you can. Do debating society.
Become self-righteous.

Generally helps now if you didn't go to a good school and are of a politically correct image and background that the party and public can find palatable.
 
Sawell said:
Where is a good place to start
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Be very good at getting ahead at the expense of others while convincing them you'r doing the exact oppoesite.

Sawell said:
I feel like I should be prime minister though. I figure I should get on the path now.
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Save your soul and don't. Politics is a one-way ticket to eternal damnation in the afterlife (assuming you belive it exists). And what makes you think you can deliver when every other government before has failed?
 
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