Getting over a break up?

waso_dude said:
Yea, i was thinking that, but that might ruin all my chances of getting back with her,

I think i'm just gunna leave it a few weeks and then chat to her and see what he says, maybe be able to sort something just dating again and go from there

I just really don't want to lose her. She was my best friend.
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I can totally see where you're coming from. You never know what she wants, or why she's really done it. Like to think they're pretty enigmatic when they're frustratingly hiding stuff from you.

If my girlfriend left me, I'd be totally heartbroken, but it's ultimately her choice whether it's a bad choice or not. The thing people don't realise is that no matter how free you think you are in a relationship, you're not. There are boundaries and there are constraints. If your mates call you and tell you it's going to be the best night ever, if you're a good boyfriend/girlfriend/whatever, you can't just say yes because it's inconsiderate. Now's the time to do whatever you want! Call your mates, tell them what's happened, the good ones will go "right, what's the plan?!" and you're made.

Regardless of justification for this, she's acted without consideration for you, and that shows the level of respect she has for you (I'm sorry to say). Go out and live for yourself for a bit.

malc30 said:
I disagree with this & think it's about the worst thing you can do.
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That's your prerogative. She's been totally inconsiderate, she doesn't deserve to be taken back.
 
This happened to me about 2 weeks ago, my missus of 6 years who i lived with decided enough was enough and left. I was beyound gutted even took a few days off work and i am still in a bit of a state now but my mates have been great.

Best advice go out with your mates and everytime you pine after her just remeber the things that annoyed you about her. I even went as far as making a list so i could look at it when ever i felt the urge to phone / text and ask her back. Bottom line this is a start of a new stage in your life, relax and enjoy it!
 
Sorry you want back with her? She is probably nailing some other guy as you type.

Just treat her like any other whore from now on and ignore her, you obviously meant so little to her that she could drop you after 3 years.

Find some lass and play "tennis" with her for a bit, like BB said, just get some exercise :D

KaHn
 
KaHn said:
Sorry you want back with her? She is probably nailing some other guy as you type.

Just treat her like any other whore from now on and ignore her, you obviously meant so little to her that she could drop you after 3 years.

Find some lass and play "tennis" with her for a bit, like BB said, just get some exercise :D

KaHn
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See idiots like you i'd turn and hit.

That doesn't help at all.

Cheers all for your advice.
 
waso_dude said:
Shes claiming that he wants to be single and have fun.

I dunno how to take it, maybe she will realise and come back who knows.

It was out of the blue in her finishing. She was having a rough time at home/work. But i thought we were okay, but now it seems that her mates had discussed this with her.
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Mayb this situation is different.. but dont delude your self.. she most likely won't want to get back..harsh to say but you need to hear it.

i also agree to not tlk to her for a while, get some space. No its not easy for me to say; because i couldnt do it wen it happened to me, but in hindsight i think that wouldv bn the best option.

Yes the first weekS will b the WORST, but honestly as everyone has said..time IS a huge healer and u ARE going to be ok.

And yes - the most important thing are your friends.. mine have been great :)

the "going out on the pull, sleep with other women" doesnt work for everyone...might make you feel worse tbh!

gl :)

leave it 2months and come bk here.. if you havent been contacting her and goig out to enjoy yourself...i doubt you'd be feeling the same..
 
I tend to follow Arsene Wenger's inspired squad rotation system, but on more of a club level. They each get a 2 week trial before they get the initial contract, which usual follows. They are then on a rolling month by month contract. Failure to perform to 'club' standards and contract is terminated.

That's why Arsenal are fighting for Champions league spot and the likes of Newcastle who stick with Michael Owen because of past form are in a relegation battle.

Hehe, men and football. One thing you won't miss is "you're going out with your mates? fine". I miss my friends :(
 
Sic said:
The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else
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Disagree, this soon after a break up you will only compare how sex was compared to how it was with someone you really loved - and this will make it not even the slightest enjoyable for more than half hour or however long you can be bothered to make out with a random girl for.

I went down the same route. Got dumped by long term girlfriend so went out and got ******, ended up sleeping with a random girl from a club who I obviously had no feelings for so was harsh on her.

Your best bet is to spend some time with friends, if you've lost touch then get in contact with old mates and spend your time doing things that you enjoy without having to worry about seeing/calling/texting anyone else.
 
EVH said:
Cut all contact.
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I think this is true. Im still sittin here txtin my x-gf right now and its just upsetting me to the point i want to cry !

Its hard to deal with, but i really do get why people say cut contact. Its the best way to aid the process of getting over someone!
 
waso_dude said:
See idiots like you i'd turn and hit.

That doesn't help at all.

Cheers all for your advice.
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You can always try, you know nothing about relationships if you think any different.

You would actually take her back, can I keep you next to my door as a mat plz?

KaHn
 
Cut contact? Perhaps.

Text another girl? Absolutely. Doesn't mean you have to get with her, at most go for a drink, but having another girl show interest with you helps immensely, it's the rebound effect and negates any feeling of rejection.

My far more experienced older mate once told me "Never burn your bridges with ex's, you might wanna cross them again some day". I speak to them all :D
 
Gigi said:
realising that my ex-gf wasnt the one for me, so im not going to dwell on that.
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The best way to think... nice one.

It wont be easy so try and make sure your around people that are close to you... mates or family for example.
 
Vixen said:
Time and space, don't spend time with her, don't even speak to her for a few weeks. It will be weird at first, but if you're going to be apart you really need to get used to life that way. After time you might be able to be friends, don't try to do it straight off.
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Yeah or you'll be clinging onto false hope which really isn't good for the soul.

It is gonna hurt so may as well face it now rather than prolonging it..
 
Cutting contact is definitely a must, she'll probably call a few times out of the blue and my advise is to ignore the calls, she'll try be your friend, but you obviously see her as more than just a friend. Only after a while (say 3-6months) of seeing your mates, getting back into the routine of awesomeness, getting buff at the gym, filling your wardrobe up with nice clothes, and putting a smile back on your face can you consider talking to her.

Breaking this, and hoping she'll come back is where delusion sets in for everyone. Best thing is to leave it up to her, she made the decision. Get on with your life.

It's hard, and could take months, or years, but just be awesome.
 
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