Girl Trouble

dhjjessel

dhjjessel

dhjjessel

Associate
Joined
18 Oct 2002
Posts
675
Location
England's Green and Pleasant Land
ok....
i met this girl less than 2 weeks ago, and over the last 10 days we really connected.... i mean we know really intimate stuff about each other and weve both said it feels like we known each other for years...
anyway shes basically been in and out of relationships since she was 14.... never really been single for very long. her last relationship ended quite badly and she is really relishing being single now.... but this puts me in a bit of a pickle!
we kissed a couple of days ago... for the first time, but it was very hesitant and non-committal.. afterwards she told me she liked me but wasnt ready to get into a relationship (for the above reasons)
for a couple of days after i was making every effort to see her and carry things on but we both have quite busy schedules. anyway, i realised that she was going about things with a certain reluctance, so iver the last couple of days i have backed off, to give her the opportunity to come to me rather than my having to come to her.....
now its been two days since i've seen here (and only heard from her a couple of times) and im in COMPLETE AGONY
its taking every emotional muscle i have to restrain myself from calling her, even though i KNOW i need to give her her space.
What shall i do?
how can i distract myself from thinking about her 24/7?
HELP
 
yeah 19 shes 18
sorry if i sound so very juvenile (very supportive by the way) but to be honest i have never connected with a girl on this level before. every relationship i've had in the past seems shallow and meaningless in comparison
 
iCraig said:
Well, it is when he only known her for two weeks. He's talking like he's engaged to her or something.

Just leave her alone and go enjoy yourself, if you're after a relationship keep hunting around, but from what you've said this girl isn't bothered so you'll just be wasting your time.
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to give u an exact quote from a text:

"look i like u but i can't have a relationship for a while.....but i don't want you to disappear from my life-is that possible?"

hopefully that convinces u that she is bothered
 
Depth said:
Nice guys (really boring guys) come last. Remember that.

If you act all obsessive and pushy, she won't want you.
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as long i keep repeating that wisdom to myself, i might be alright
 
McDaniel said:
Ignore the abuse mate, plenty of people post em, and they can help - if they dont wanna read it they shouldn't your title is obvious so they just trolling. Dont worry about it, your lucky you found someone you connected with on that level, doesnt always happen - it is important that your not blinded just by lust though.

Get one of your good mates and go out for a beer or something, just be around people your comfortable with it really is one of the best things. She'll hopefully call you in her own time :)

Good Luck
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i did that last night, which was great
but now its today and everyones still at work!
need a new distraction
counter-strike works but man its dull (and unhealthy)
 
iCraig said:
Only reinforces it dude, she wants you as a friend. Not in a relationship. Simple.

Keep waiting for a relationship with her if you must, but if I was you I would stay in touch, but wouldn't keep my hopes up.
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so what should i do the?
give up, or make every affort to avoid the friend zone? or both?
 
McDaniel said:
i know the feeling, i was like that for a while - i just kept myself busy with little taks like cleaning up, doing stuff for my folks when i was at home etc..

But what others have said is right, its only been 2 weeks and she sounds like she's not interested at the moment. Doesnt mean it wont be forever.

And if you do end up in the friends zone you WILL get over it and you;ve gained a friend, no major loss.
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she is always sending me messages on myspace etc... i think i need to step up before it becomes too friendly, but at the same time, i did only kiss her 2 days ago... i mean don't you think i should give her more time?
 
krooton said:
You say the kiss wasn't natural and passionate like?

Could you elaborate the circumstances surrounding it?
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i was leaving... took a long time (i suck at that kind of thing) but it was a kiss as though i was leaving that then lingered and became a kiss on the lips... but far from deep and passionate.
 
oh i forgot to mention, the first time i went to meet up with her (i'd met her properly 2 days before), she took me back to meet her parents....!
what am i supposed to read out of that i don't know
 
McDaniel said:
Dont read into it, thats one of my major problems too - i over analyse the smallest things - its best to think nothing of it. She may have introduced you as a friend.
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i overanalyse a LOT
not just with girls with everything
i spend most of my time daydreaming about hypothetical situations, manifested by what certain actions mean... very tiresome living in a dreamworld
 
oh another potentially important factor.... she's got a place at oxford and shes in the middle of her A-level final exams, to she might just be a touch disinclined to let herself be distracted by a strapping young lad like myself
 
Rich_L said:
Sweet, is she hot? Can you describe her intimate details?

Hehe chill and stop worrying, go with the flow, nail that ho
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i'm afraid i'm a bit of a hopeless romantic.
when i like a girl i tend to worry unavoidably
 
depends on the depth of ** friendship
and how good looking you are
and whether you're the kind of person who someone can fool around with and then the next day everything is forgotten
i know that usually when i get with a girl things are never really quite the same between us
 
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