Girl Trouble

dhjjessel · 12 May 2006 at 16:33

ok....
i met this girl less than 2 weeks ago, and over the last 10 days we really connected.... i mean we know really intimate stuff about each other and weve both said it feels like we known each other for years...
anyway shes basically been in and out of relationships since she was 14.... never really been single for very long. her last relationship ended quite badly and she is really relishing being single now.... but this puts me in a bit of a pickle!
we kissed a couple of days ago... for the first time, but it was very hesitant and non-committal.. afterwards she told me she liked me but wasnt ready to get into a relationship (for the above reasons)
for a couple of days after i was making every effort to see her and carry things on but we both have quite busy schedules. anyway, i realised that she was going about things with a certain reluctance, so iver the last couple of days i have backed off, to give her the opportunity to come to me rather than my having to come to her.....
now its been two days since i've seen here (and only heard from her a couple of times) and im in COMPLETE AGONY
its taking every emotional muscle i have to restrain myself from calling her, even though i KNOW i need to give her her space.
What shall i do?
how can i distract myself from thinking about her 24/7?
HELP

iCraig · 12 May 2006 at 16:34

What ages are you?

G|mp · 12 May 2006 at 16:35

Your profile says 19-20

But you sound like your 12

Get over it ffs

Raymond Lin · 12 May 2006 at 16:36

You've known her for 2 weeks..........get a grip man !

iCraig · 12 May 2006 at 16:36

If she doesn't want to get into a relationship, just find someone who does.

McDaniel · 12 May 2006 at 16:36

hell be 20 soon according to profile.

and the best thing to distract yourself is to just keep busy busy, go out play a sport, go do something. If you dont wanna call her then delete her number from ** phone, write it down first and hide it away. that way you cant call her if your out and drunk

fieldy · 12 May 2006 at 16:37

G|mp said:
Your profile says 19-20

But you sound like your 12

Get over it ffs

its not always that easy mate

anywho talking to freinds is always good, took my mind off a girl I liked, hope you get it sorted soon though

Beansprout · 12 May 2006 at 16:38

dhjjessel said:
we kissed a couple of days ago... for the first time, but it was very hesitant and non-committal

Can I see the rest of your diary? Forget kiss and tell... it's kiss and write!

Mat · 12 May 2006 at 16:38

dhjjessel · 12 May 2006 at 16:38

yeah 19 shes 18
sorry if i sound so very juvenile (very supportive by the way) but to be honest i have never connected with a girl on this level before. every relationship i've had in the past seems shallow and meaningless in comparison

iCraig · 12 May 2006 at 16:39

fieldy said:
its not always that easy mate

Well, it is when he's only known her for two weeks. He's talking like he's engaged to her or something.

Just leave her alone and go enjoy yourself, if you're after a relationship keep hunting around, but from what you've said this girl isn't bothered so you'll just be wasting your time.

G|mp · 12 May 2006 at 16:39

fieldy said:
its not always that easy mate
anywho talking to freinds is always good, took my mind off a girl I liked, hope you get it sorted soon though

Yes it is

Women come and go, its better to get used to it early on

Depth · 12 May 2006 at 16:40

Nice guys (really boring guys) come last. Remember that.

If you act all obsessive and pushy, she won't want you.

William · 12 May 2006 at 16:40

So don't have a relationship, have a no strings attached mistress.... you needed telling ffs!? :rolleyes:

iCraig · 12 May 2006 at 16:41

William said:
So don't have a relationship, have a no strings attached mistress.... you needed telling ffs!?

Thats what I was thinking, but he sounds like he's aching for a meaningful relationship rather than just a shag buddy.

dhjjessel · 12 May 2006 at 16:41

iCraig said:
Well, it is when he only known her for two weeks. He's talking like he's engaged to her or something.

Just leave her alone and go enjoy yourself, if you're after a relationship keep hunting around, but from what you've said this girl isn't bothered so you'll just be wasting your time.

to give u an exact quote from a text:

"look i like u but i can't have a relationship for a while.....but i don't want you to disappear from my life-is that possible?"

hopefully that convinces u that she is bothered

McDaniel · 12 May 2006 at 16:41

dhjjessel said:
yeah 19 shes 18
sorry if i sound so very juvenile (very supportive by the way) but to be honest i have never connected with a girl on this level before. every relationship i've had in the past seems shallow and meaningless in comparison

Ignore the abuse mate, plenty of people post em, and they can help - if they dont wanna read it they shouldn't your title is obvious so they just trolling. Dont worry about it, your lucky you found someone you connected with on that level, doesnt always happen - it is important that your not blinded just by lust though.

Get one of your good mates and go out for a beer or something, just be around people your comfortable with it really is one of the best things. She'll hopefully call you in her own time

Good Luck

dhjjessel · 12 May 2006 at 16:42

Depth said:
Nice guys (really boring guys) come last. Remember that.

If you act all obsessive and pushy, she won't want you.

as long i keep repeating that wisdom to myself, i might be alright

iCraig · 12 May 2006 at 16:42

dhjjessel said:
to give u an exact quote from a text:

"look i like u but i can't have a relationship for a while.....but i don't want you to disappear from my life-is that possible?"

hopefully that convinces u that she is bothered

Only reinforces it dude, she wants you as a friend. Not in a relationship. Simple.

Keep waiting for a relationship with her if you must, but if I was you I would stay in touch, but wouldn't keep my hopes up.

Raymond Lin · 12 May 2006 at 16:43

dhjjessel said:
to give u an exact quote from a text:

"look i like u but i can't have a relationship for a while.....but i don't want you to disappear from my life-is that possible?"

hopefully that convinces u that she is bothered

Stick around, and there are 2 way it can go.

1 - You will be with her eventually
2 - Mayor of the Friend Zone.