Girlfriend wishes to contribute to my mortgage

[Chojin]

Relationship aside the notion of piling your money into a single asset doesn't seem great. You have a leveraged asset in your house which is not your forever home. Why not diversify?

 

[Tuppy_Glossop]

Her strategy isn't a million miles away from Rommel's strategy in North Africa. She is exploiting the interior lines. He lost, though, so no problem.

 

[dpbadger]

Keep it as it is then when you buy the next home together she then uses the lump sum towards the deposit of that one.

 

[Efour]

Tell her to pay for the awesome holidays you could have with £45k.

 

[Hades]

I would avoid her putting money into the house. It could get very messy in the event of a split. Instead, suggest she invests it in a FTSE tracker etc, so that the money can grow for when you do buy a house together.

 

[tom_e]

Seems a bit suspicious, there's no benefit in her ploughing such a huge chunk of cash into it unless she's looking along the lines of "this gives me some claim over the house".

Stick it in one of the decent savings accounts now on offer and get a guaranteed 5-6% over the next couple of years.

 

[Yaayuh!]

Nothing says love like a legal cohabitation agreement.

 

[Kill_Phil]

Has disaster written all over it. Guessing OP wouldn't have the cash to buy her out if things went waywards? Just tell her to keep the money in a saving account until the point you are ready to move

 

[Raymond Lin]

She might feel strongly about not wanting kids or to get married, but women have been known to occasionally change their minds..

If you currently have no plans to get married or have kids, why not just maintain the status quo?

I know several people who changed their minds, both men and women. Once people hit a certain age, something clicks in the brain and they just want to have kids.

 

[swillsy]

You can sign an agreement that if/when you sell up you can take your equity to date (she needs to agree to that figure) and she can take her 45k and then you split the rest 50% you don't really need a solicitor for this however I would get it witnessed. I've done this before and had no issues when it came time to sell.

However as everyone has said in most parts of the country house prices are falling and they will most likely go on for another year at least. She should consider taking advantage of high interest saving accounts instead especially as you are in a situation where the extra money won't improve your interest %.

 

[sg0]

Rent your property and keep the cash. Then get a new joint home, split the new home 50 50.

 

[LiE]

We both agree that the sooner this mortgage is gone (15y -> 5y), the sooner we are freer to stockpile cash to move into our forever home.

The real question is, does paying the £45k into the mortgage speed up the move to the forever home? Because paying off the mortgage doesn't magically give you more money. You also don't need to pay off the mortgage to move or stockpile cash.

 

[secretspy]

Can't comment on whether the agreement is all you'd need etc might be worth checking out The Legal Queen on Facebook. She gives some great advice on things like this

I understand the reasons why you've said she wants to do this but personally I would leave things as they are and suggest she put the money into a high interest savings account to save towards your forever home.
This is what my colleague did with her OH and now they've moved into a joint property they have an agreement in place because she put down a higher deposit.

Your gf might be subconsciously planning for failure and thinking this could protect her from losing her "home" or perhaps it is all innocent but if she's got £45k then finding a place to live should things end wouldnt really be an issue. (Not unless she's on a really low salary living in an expensive area but if she's got £45k in her mid twenties I doubt that's the case)

From a woman's POV I certainly wouldn't put £45k of my money towards someone's mortgage or let someone contribute to mine even with an agreement in place. It just makes things messy if you do split.
(I get that you've been together x amount of time etc but you just never know)

Maybe that's just me being cynical but I've had a few guys try and take advantage of me in the past so I'm very protective of my money.

 

[BongoHunter]

I would let her do it. Especially if your getting a legal agreement drawn up. I did this with my other half (similar age gap) and it worked well, weve gone onto the forever home now, and still not married or planning on it and weve been together 10 years at this point.

Her name will probably need to be on the deeds though I assume, so this could make things difficult if you split and it's not amicable.

With regards to returning the 45k if you do break up - you need to get the house valued at the time she makes the contribution, as if the house say doubles in value over the next 10 years you should really be giving her 90k rather than 45 if you were to part ways at that point (ever increasing values is one of the main reasons to put money into property - so she should get this IMO else what's the point for her?)

 

[sanaxe1]

I think that contrary to his name OP has already made up his mind.

 

[Mercenary Keyboard Warrior]

Put yourself in her shoes as well when you think about it.
Shes supposedly in a proper relationship, if its long term (in both your minds) shes probably thinking he could just say move out, at any time and is faking it.
Shes probably a bit nervous because of this.
She is showing commitment, if your refusing to let her take a stake then in effect your doing the opposite.

Saying that, right now, her best bet is invest it (even savings) and wait till either rates drop or you move. Seems pointless to pay off a lower rate. (Stick £20k in an ISA)

Or an alternate approach is. You agree to sign over a share of the house to her (with provision that should you split you can repay her). She gives YOU the £45k and you invest it.
That way you still have the cash to repay her, shes got her stake and feels bought in, you arent paying down low cost debt when investing/saving would be better.
If you seriously think shes a keeper then that seems to tick all the boxes.

 

[Hades]

 

[potatolord]

A lot of the advice here is coming from miserable buggers who couldn't get a woman with a claw hammer and a bag of tranquillisers.

As someone who lost most of my house equity after a divorce, then remarried and had more kids, my advice is:

Check your initial agreement is legally valid. You may have already entered into a position you wish to avoid.
Get legal advice on a worst case scenario. Draw up an agreement which takes account of changing circumstances which should include if you have children together.
You may want to get this initial advice without telling her.
Things change. In another three years, her biological clock might be ringing the alarm.
If you see your future with her and she makes you happy that has value.
If you split over this, would that be a price worth paying?

 

[Hades]

A lot of the advice here is coming from miserable buggers who couldn't get a woman with a claw hammer and a bag of tranquillisers.

Ignore this man. This exact approach worked for me.

 

[the shadow]

marry er