n3crius said:
Don't disagree with you, and you're right in that it's easy for me to make my post given I'm healthy. I understand that.
What bothers me is how this seems to be so generalised in here. I don't mean to judge, I guess just think this is not something for healthy people to really deliberate on as most of us will have no real understanding of these extreme situations.
I've seen some things, none of them have ever made me want to consider the future in such a way, so I'm sorry for you mate, and indeed like most, I hope I never have to contemplate this kinda stuff.
I think you'll find it's experience-related, and that often (but unfortunately, not always) means it's age-related.
When I was young, I was invincible and was going to live forever. By that, I mean I never really contemplated the concept of mortality. I mean, obviously, I knew my time would come, but it was a long way off (probably), and I never really gave it much thought. It didn't sink in, properly. I was aware intellectually, but not emotionally.
But as you get older, you lose friends and loved ones, in increasing numbers. At that point, you'd be pretty stupid not to pick up the message - there's a time for us all, and it's getting closer. Tick, tick, tick.
But what REALLY sank in, due to specific experiences, is that that moment might come fast (and I'm talking illness here, so fast as in days or weeks, not the instant of a car crash or a massive unexpected heart attack or stroke), or it might come slow, and linger for months or even years.
In the event that it's slow, and that implies a gradual degeneration, you have to face up to the fact that, gradually, there'll be things you can't do. And over a period, when it gets to the point that the list of "can'ts" is huge, and the list of "can's" worryingly small, you realise that quality of life has degraded significantly. And when you then find that you're either facing unbearable pain, or heavy drugs to numb the pain - which then mean you're so out of it you don't know what day it is, let alone have enough self left to even get pleasure from reading a book or watching telly, well, it boils down to laying there, suffering, needing a nurse to get you to the loo and sit you on it because you can't manage it yourself or, worse yet, catheter and bedpan .....
I think the picture is clear without me going on about how little you might find yourself left with, including remarkably little dignity. And for what? A few days extra .... of pain, and heavy morphine. Sorry, but no thanks. And THAT is why I said I've already taken steps to ensure I have a means to avoid that. If you don't take precautionary measures, you may find by the time you realise what's happening, you're too infirm to anything about it.
But perhaps ironically, this depressing picture has an upside. As soon as you realise that time is limited, and sliiping away, you realise that you'd damn well better live life while you can, because you never know what tomorrow holds. So you get off your arse and
do things. Don't sit about thinking about it, do it .... or you might not get the chance. You see every problem as a challenge, and every mistake as an opportunity to learn, and to do better.
So please, don't feel sorry for me. As far as I know, I've a good many years left yet. And I have plenty of plans for them. Whatever time I have left, I fully intend to use it wisely, and enjoy it.
Which brings me back to square one. I have provision to hasten my own exit IF NEED BE. But I'm not anticipating needing it in the near future. I just have the vision and experience to ba aware of what MIGHT be in store, and the plans to deal with it, as and when necessary. What I don't intend to do if I can possibly help it, is slowly drift away in a hospital bed, plumbed into all sorts of contraptions, zombied by drugs, and at the "mercy" of doctors that are determined to preserve my misery (sorry, my life) regardless of whether I want it or not. It's not a pessimistic outlook, it's a pragmatic one.
My philosophy is that for each and every one of us, exactly one person has the right to determine when we exit this life. I choose not to suffer and delay the inevitable once it reaches the point that it is inevitable. But I acknowledge and respect the wishes of those that wish to hang on grimly to the last instant. That way is their choice but not mine, in exactly the same way that my way is my choice, not theirs. My way is right for me. I don't presume to suggest it's right for anybody else ..... though I can assume you I'm far from alone in seeing it this way. There is, in my opinion, no right way or wrong way to look at this - just personal preference.
