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God damn it! Relationship question

chris_r

chris_r

chris_r

Soldato
Joined
1 Dec 2003
Posts
2,817
Location
Liverpool
Hello,

I have always tried to stay away from making these just because of their rep on here but i need a point of view from all walks of life and people who do not know me.

Ok, so say you have been with a girl for 15months, you definetly feel in love and she does too and you are both apart of eachothers family

One of you have a weekend to yourself (free house) and invite the other to spend it with you, but instead they turn the option down and infact you dont even see eachother over the weekend.

So Friday, other half isn't coming, you have a free house, your bored and hardly see friends anymore so you invite them. They come and you do some talking and decide to go out for the night, not to meet the oppisote sex but just for an all around good time.

So, knowing the other half would get very mad, or upset because you went out you told them you never, just to try and keep it somewhat ok, but after the day was gone and the night came you then told the other half the truth, you then basicly get a dogs life and told you cannot be trusted.

What would you do or say?
 
Why would you lie to someone you claim to love? People lose trust when they are lied to, not exactly the best way to convince her that it was just a night out with the lads.
 
I'd tell her to shut up and leave me alone for judging me for going out (because you were too busy to bother coming to mine, and making me feel guilty for going out when it's my life).

If that makes sense.

And she should stop getting so uppity saying you can't be trusted just for going out and not feeling like you have to explain yourself every time you do so.
 
I wouldn't make a greek tragedy out of it. Play it down, you just went out with some mates.

If you let her guilt trip you over this then it will let her feel she must be in on every part of your life. Not so. Stand firm, be polite and tell her it's no big deal.
 
I would've have either told her i was going out in the first place, or not tell her at all until she ask what I did. Don't lie to her man, not over something like this, you can understand why she is upset over this. You would too if she told you she was staying in and then went out clubbing. Don't tell me you don't at least wonder somewhere in your mind why did said one thing and then did another.

As to what to say...............apologise, and tell her the truth ! Whatever that might be.
 
Is there any reason that she decided not to come over? I'd say because of her choice not to spend the weekend with you it was your choice entirely to go out. The lying about it was the stupid part, if I was in the same situation I'd just have told the girl that I wanted to go out with some friends, I don't see what right she could have to stop you innocently seeing your friends given you had no other plans together which you were missing.
 
If she didn't come to yours then she has no right to be upset if you find something else to do. At the same time, it was stupid of you not to tell her.
 
semi-pro waster said:
Is there any reason that she decided not to come over? I'd say because of her choice not to spend the weekend with you it was your choice entirely to go out. The lying about it was the stupid part, if I was in the same situation I'd just have told the girl that I wanted to go out with some friends, I don't see what right she could have to stop you innocently seeing your friends given you had no other plans together which you were missing.
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That sums it up perfectly in my eyes.
 
I agree with mostly all of you, and saying i never went out for the first half of Saturday was daft but i only lied to try stop her from moaning or thinking i have done something i shouldn't of. I thought if i told her i went out, all she will think is it was for a girl.

That is what made me lie, but in the end jus tell her the truth and eventuallyafter recieving some words apoligize. Something that i found really childish and 'not like' her is that she was saying to her parents 'oh chris went out last night round town' which kinda makes me sound terrible in a way and will defiently make it harder for me to speak to her parents as i feel they are involved a little too much, like i keep saying to her i know i love her, she loves me, we are a part of both families and happy. I have an habit of telling her i am an adult and almost 19, i am far from immature in man ways. She is 18, but kinda loves her parents company and i cant get my head round that bit. I feel like i need to 'book' her to see if i can see her or if shes going out with family.

Kinda hurts but she is blind to my pain but completly sees hers (which is only one part of the problem) Friday night

Only thing is, even if i am 18, i want her for life, would love her kids one day and i just need a 'older peoples' reply to the matter because i feel most of you have many expierences (not that way, dirty sods)
 
She shouldn't get mad or upset because you go out with your mates. However, you lied to her. Whilst it may be an over reaction given the circumstances, it could be fair to say that liars can not be trusted.

If you went out and told the truth about it, you would be in the right and have nothing to defend. Now you have lied and no matter what you say now it's not going to look good on your part.
 
chris_r said:
I agree with mostly all of you, and saying i never went out for the first half of Saturday was daft but i only lied to try stop her from moaning or thinking i have done something i shouldn't of. I thought if i told her i went out, all she will think is it was for a girl.

That is what made me lie, but in the end jus tell her the truth and eventuallyafter recieving some words apoligize. Something that i found really childish and 'not like' her is that she was saying to her parents 'oh chris went out last night round town' which kinda makes me sound terrible in a way and will defiently make it harder for me to speak to her parents as i feel they are involved a little too much, like i keep saying to her i know i love her, she loves me, we are a part of both families and happy. I have an habit of telling her i am an adult and almost 19, i am far from immature in man ways. She is 18, but kinda loves her parents company and i cant get my head round that bit. I feel like i need to 'book' her to see if i can see her or if shes going out with family.

Kinda hurts but she is blind to my pain but completly sees hers (which is only one part of the problem) Friday night

Only thing is, even if i am 18, i want her for life, would love her kids one day and i just need a 'older peoples' reply to the matter because i feel most of you have many expierences (not that way, dirty sods)
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There are very few occations where lying is justified. Off my head...."Do I look Fat in this?" That may be an exception :p

Just tell her the truth next time.
 
Mr Spew said:
I'd tell her to shut up and leave me alone for judging me for going out (because you were too busy to bother coming to mine, and making me feel guilty for going out when it's my life).
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Was going to say that same.

I'd say to her, that I invited her to come out with me, she refused, so I went out with mates.

Her loss, get over it biatch :D

However, I would have told her the truth from the start.
 
Muban said:
She shouldn't get mad or upset because you go out with your mates. However, you lied to her. Whilst it may be an over reaction given the circumstances, it could be fair to say that liars can not be trusted.

If you went out and told the truth about it, you would be in the right and have nothing to defend. Now you have lied and no matter what you say now it's not going to look good on your part.
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Yeah, the lie part was bad, which is why i ended up telling her after being on the phone and lying for about 10 minutes. I couldn't do it, but i thought the truth would hurt her more, don't know why. So although it sounds petty, i lied for her sake?
 
Raymond Lin said:
Just tell her the truth next time.
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There wont be a next time, this was a complete one off and im always stuck in lately (passed month) that's what i cannot get to grips with.
 
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