good memorable jokes?
- Thread starter The Running Man
- Start date
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What does DNA stand for?
National Dyslexic's Association
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A man's sitting in the bar, in some high-rise building somewhere, and a guy walks up to him and says:
"I bet you £50 that I can jump out that window, and the wind will carry me into the floor below."
So the man sitting at the bar agrees with this bet. And so the guy jumps out of the window. About half a minute later, he comes up the stairs and into the bar again.
"Wow!" Says the guy at the bar. "I bet you £100 that you can't do it again."
The man agrees, and leaps out the window once more. And again, about half a minute later he comes back into the bar, and picks up his money.
"Wow! That's incredible!" says the guy at the bar, and the other man sits down with a smug look on his face.
About half an hour later, the man walks up to the guy at the bar (who has now had more to drink) and says:
"I bet you £500 that you can't do it."
And so the guy jumps out the window, and falls straight to his death. At this, the barman looks up, and says to the man:
"You can be a real ******* when you're drunk, Superman."
National Dyslexic's Association
-----------------------------
A man's sitting in the bar, in some high-rise building somewhere, and a guy walks up to him and says:
"I bet you £50 that I can jump out that window, and the wind will carry me into the floor below."
So the man sitting at the bar agrees with this bet. And so the guy jumps out of the window. About half a minute later, he comes up the stairs and into the bar again.
"Wow!" Says the guy at the bar. "I bet you £100 that you can't do it again."
The man agrees, and leaps out the window once more. And again, about half a minute later he comes back into the bar, and picks up his money.
"Wow! That's incredible!" says the guy at the bar, and the other man sits down with a smug look on his face.
About half an hour later, the man walks up to the guy at the bar (who has now had more to drink) and says:
"I bet you £500 that you can't do it."
And so the guy jumps out the window, and falls straight to his death. At this, the barman looks up, and says to the man:
"You can be a real ******* when you're drunk, Superman."
why dont blind men skydive?
It scares the hell out of the guide dog.
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whats green and lies in the gutter?
Snot.
Whats green and red and lies in the gutter?
Injured snot.
(not my joke nor do i find it funny, but some peope love it)
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What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts
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What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone
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Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided?
Both crews were marooned
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What is the main reason Santa is so jolly?
He knows where all the bad girls live
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Did you hear about the dyslexic lawyer?
He studied all year for the bra exam
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What about the dyslexic pimp?
He bought a warehouse
Ive loads more in this txt file
It scares the hell out of the guide dog.
**************************
whats green and lies in the gutter?
Snot.
Whats green and red and lies in the gutter?
Injured snot.
(not my joke nor do i find it funny, but some peope love it)
***************************
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts
***************************
What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone
***************************
Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided?
Both crews were marooned
***************************
What is the main reason Santa is so jolly?
He knows where all the bad girls live
***************************
Did you hear about the dyslexic lawyer?
He studied all year for the bra exam
***************************
What about the dyslexic pimp?
He bought a warehouse
Ive loads more in this txt file
Two cannibals eating a clown, one turns to the other and says "does this taste funny to you?"
Superman's flying along minding his business when he looks down to see Wonderwoman lying on a beach, naked, and with her legs wide open. Seeing this, he feels the urge and argues that since he's Superman, he can use super speed to get down there, do the dirty and be away before she realises what's happening. So off he goes, faster than a speeding bullet, and before you know it he's back up in the air with a huge grin on his face.
Back on the bach, Wonderwoman's still lying on her back, legs spread, but with a puzzled look on her face. She says "I wonder what that was" to which the Invisible Man replies "no bloody idea, but my bum hurts like hell"
Superman's flying along minding his business when he looks down to see Wonderwoman lying on a beach, naked, and with her legs wide open. Seeing this, he feels the urge and argues that since he's Superman, he can use super speed to get down there, do the dirty and be away before she realises what's happening. So off he goes, faster than a speeding bullet, and before you know it he's back up in the air with a huge grin on his face.
Back on the bach, Wonderwoman's still lying on her back, legs spread, but with a puzzled look on her face. She says "I wonder what that was" to which the Invisible Man replies "no bloody idea, but my bum hurts like hell"
Soldato
- Joined
- 16 May 2004
- Posts
- 7,173
- Location
- Derby
frakker said:
I have never heard that in my whole life. All 31 years of it..
ROTFLMAO
