Got a fully organic 28lb turkey.......

28lb organic!:eek: My betting is it cost well over £100, better not mess it up then, ask La Cuisine people. The tip to butter and lay bacon strips across the breast is sound advice though. If you do happen to mess it up just stick it on your head and wear it to a Half Life convention.
 
When Chuck Norris’s wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, “Don’t worry about it honey,” and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, “Never question Chuck Norris.”
 
smit101 said:
28lb organic!:eek: My betting is it cost well over £100, better not mess it up then, ask La Cuisine people. The tip to butter and lay bacon strips across the breast is sound advice though. If you do happen to mess it up just stick it on your head and wear it to a Half Life convention.
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I got it for £100.

Got to choose my one as well from the farm...........
 
Cook it upside down, then the juices drop into the breast. Won't be dry then.

Let it rest for at least 90 minutes before serving, wrapped in foil and tea towels.
 
Put a smaller turkey inside it.

Or, make a herb butter (dill/tarragon/rosemary/thyme/coriander or a mixture) and put it under the skin above the breast and stuff it with onions and/or lemons to help prevent it drying out and as a way of flavouring the turkey.
 
My mate says if you warm it up a bit in a micro, then rub with oil it feels like a real cheap version of a fleshlight.
Maybe try this with a 2 for £5 chicken and not the Christmas Turkey as you might get caught and have to explain yourself to the wife/girlfriend and family.
You could always say you were trying to get the giblets out or putting an onion up it.
 
I like what rick stein said in one of his program's.
People say you must do this and that and every year it gets more complicated, just throw it in the oven at a moderate heat and roast it.
 
dpbadger said:
My mate says if you warm it up a bit in a micro, then rub with oil it feels like a real cheap version of a fleshlight.
Maybe try this with a 2 for £5 chicken and not the Christmas Turkey as you might get caught and have to explain yourself to the wife/girlfriend and family.
You could always say you were trying to get the giblets out or putting an onion up it.
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You sound quite experienced? :p
 
fill it with fireworks and stand back with your mouth wide open

nice turkey though, we've a 20lb fresh turkey this year between 3 of us :o
 
The turkey we are cooking is bigger then yours (free range thingy too from a local butcher, we get one every year) so you might beed to alter the cooking method.

*This is off the top of my head*

Cook it for something like 45 minutes on about 220? Then cook it for something like 4 hours at a much lower temperature then a final 45 minutes without the foil on for about the same higher temperature. Turkey will be stuffed too.

If you cook it right, the meat will still be moist, turkey is a very dry bird anyway, I don't even think it's ~that nice. Having pheasants tonight though, looking forward to flash frying these and cooking them in the oven :)
 
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