Ha! So much for equality!

Admiral Huddy · 17 Oct 2006 at 16:18

I'm entitled to 3 days full paternity pay when our baby is born next March :rolleyes:

then I can have 2 weeks state paternity pay for 2 weeks which is £180 PW.

My wife on the other hand gets full pay for two weeks, then 90% for a futher 6 or 8 weeks, the is entitled to state maternity pay upto 6 months.

Now I know she is the one having the baby, but we were hoping that I could take a proactive role for this baby this time around.

No chance.

crystaline · 17 Oct 2006 at 16:20

I don't think the rules are there to give you a choice in who is the parent.
They're there because she has just given birth, needs to recover, and your days are to support her.

If you want to be an at home father, fair enough, but you shouldn't expect to be paid for the luxury of choice.

Helium_Junkie · 17 Oct 2006 at 16:22

Can you breast feed the littly tyke?
:eek:

Perhaps these laws do need some updating, join that cult of daddies who dress in hero clothes and climb cranes. Go go go!

AtreuS · 17 Oct 2006 at 16:23

Helium_Junkie said:
Can you breast feed the littly tyke?

If the mother collects her milk and bottles it then yes

Anewbe4u · 17 Oct 2006 at 16:25

crystaline said:
I don't think the rules are there to give you a choice in who is the parent.
They're there because she has just given birth, needs to recover, and your days are to support her.

If you want to be an at home father, fair enough, but you shouldn't expect to be paid for the luxury of choice.

Very good post.

Glaucus · 17 Oct 2006 at 16:25

crystaline said:
If you want to be an at home father, fair enough, but you shouldn't expect to be paid for the luxury of choice.

yes they should, It should be available for either parent, but not both.

Admiral Huddy · 17 Oct 2006 at 16:26

crystaline said:
I don't think the rules are there to give you a choice in who is the parent.
They're there because she has just given birth, needs to recover, and your days are to support her.

If you want to be an at home father, fair enough, but you shouldn't expect to be paid for the luxury of choice.

I never said I wanted to be a luxury of choice, I said I wanted to take a proactive role. If she is at home to recover and look after the baby then she will need help around the house and with the baby. We have two older kids as well to look after. I'm not after 6 months, just a few weeks whilst she receovers and finds her feet again. Can't do that in 3 days.

It's just i thought we lived in an age were proactive parenting mattered. Obviously not.

Zip · 17 Oct 2006 at 16:26

AtreuS said:
If the mother collects her milk and bottles it then yes

Pictures Huddy Milking Mrs Huddy

My mum used to milk her self because i was biter and made her nipples sore

crystaline · 17 Oct 2006 at 16:32

Admiral Huddy said:
I never said I wanted to be a luxury of choice, I said I wanted to take a proactive role. If she is at home to recover and look after the baby then she will need help around the house and with the baby. We have two older kids as well to look after. I'm not after 6 months, just a few weeks whilst she receovers and finds her feet again. Can't do that in 3 days.

It's just i thought we lived in an age were proactive parenting mattered. Obviously not.

It is not proactive parenting that I was commenting on. But if a couple chooses to take that route then there is financial consequences. You can't expect to bring in the same money from less work. If it was a small business you were working for, they would struggle for staff while still paying you a wage.
I understand and support proactive parenting, but you can't have everything.

CF93 · 17 Oct 2006 at 16:35

Our first is due in December and I hate to say it but paternity pay isn't as much as £180PW.

If your average gross earnings are £84.00 a week or more, Statutory Paternity Pay is paid for 1 or 2 consecutive weeks at:

£108.85 or 90% of your average weekly earnings if this is less than £108.85.

Taken from: http://www.dwp.gov.uk/lifeevent/benefits/statutory_paternity_pay.asp#what

And that's before deductions which you're still liable for (tax, NI, pension etc)

And they wonder why most new fathers DON'T take paternity leave.... :rolleyes:

I know I can't afford to - I'm looking at taking 3 weeks of my 4 weeks annual holiday as it's the only way to get the time off without being totally skint and not having the money to pay the mortgage! We don't get anything other than the statutory time off/pay either....

Admiral Huddy · 17 Oct 2006 at 16:43

crystaline said:
You can't expect to bring in the same money from less work. If it was a small business you were working for, they would struggle for staff while still paying you a wage.

Can't I? Why not.. ? If my wife is entitled to 8 weeks at 90%? Small companies would by law I beleive would have to offer a Maternity package..

crystaline · 17 Oct 2006 at 16:51

Admiral Huddy said:
Can't I? Why not.. ? If my wife is entitled to 8 weeks at 90%? Small companies would by law I beleive would have to offer a Maternity package..

They would, but that doesn't mean they can afford to.
Many small companies end up paying months of maternity pay to a woman who says she intends to return to work and then changes her mind after months of maternity pay. The company has been low on staff, paying out a wage and now has to retrain and interview a new person. I understand many small businesses are under strain beacause of these new laws.

And if we're going to talk equality, then it is these same laws which put pressure on companies to discriminate against employing young women who have yet to have children because they see them as leaving in a couple of years and not worth investing in.

The world is not equal and will never be, so aiming for it to be just for one situation over many others is not realistic.
It may be unfortunate for you, but it's the reality of it.

VIRII · 17 Oct 2006 at 16:51

Admiral Huddy said:
I'm entitled to 3 days full paternity pay when our baby is born next March

then I can have 2 weeks state paternity pay for 2 weeks which is £180 PW.

My wife on the other hand gets full pay for two weeks, then 90% for a futher 6 or 8 weeks, the is entitled to state maternity pay upto 6 months.

Now I know she is the one having the baby, but we were hoping that I could take a proactive role for this baby this time around.

No chance.

I thought state paternity was about £90 per week for 2 weeks?
I hope you are right, I'll let you know when my payslip comes at the end of the month.

VIRII · 17 Oct 2006 at 16:53

Helium_Junkie said:
Can you breast feed the littly tyke?

Perhaps these laws do need some updating, join that cult of daddies who dress in hero clothes and climb cranes. Go go go!

A lot of women can not breast feed. Those that can could express it.
My two strapping girls were only breast fed for a very short time and then went to baby milk - not by choice, just the way it worked out.

CF93 · 17 Oct 2006 at 16:54

On a slightly off topic question for the fathers in here...

Is child benefit the same thing as the child tax credt? that is, has one replaced the other, or can they both be claimed at the same time?

Cheers.

VIRII · 17 Oct 2006 at 16:56

crystaline said:
And if we're going to talk equality, then it is these same laws which put pressure on companies to discriminate against employing young women who have yet to have children because they see them as leaving in a couple of years and not worth investing in.

Wouldn't increased paternity leave on par with the mothers leave mean that employers had less reason to discriminate against young women?

VIRII · 17 Oct 2006 at 16:57

CF93 said:
On a slightly off topic question for the fathers in here...

Is child benefit the same thing as the child tax credt? that is, has one replaced the other, or can they both be claimed at the same time?

Cheers.

Child benefit is availoable for all kids and is not related to income.
Child tax credit is a part of working families tax credit and if you earn more than a couple of quid you don't get any.

Admiral Huddy · 17 Oct 2006 at 16:58

crystaline said:
....

Ok maybe my choice of opening words for "equality" was wrong.. but there should be an oppertunity for fathers to take more of an active role post birth. I was only expecting a couple weeks not months. A couple of weeks to do the things she would normally do while she rests.

VIRII · 17 Oct 2006 at 17:02

Admiral Huddy said:
Ok maybe my choice of opening words for "equality" was wrong.. but there should be an oppertunity for fathers to take more of an active role post birth. I was only expecting a couple weeks not months. A couple of weeks to do the things she would normally do while she rests.

Quite, Paternity pay is great - if you can afford to take it. So it is a viable option for those on £100 a week but not for those on more normal money.
I took two weeks but only because I have a very nice bonus due this month.

[DOD]Asprilla · 17 Oct 2006 at 17:10

Move to Sweden.

She gets six months and you get the following six months, all at full pay.

Mind, you pay some serious tax on that pay that enables them to afford it.