On friday i kicked my 17yr old son out to teach him a lesson, he thinks hes an adult and wanted to be treated like an adult (which is what we tried to do) but by no means acts like an adult.
Just to give you and insight as to what brought this about here what prompted my actions.
Ok, now all we asked of him of him is that he does what hes told when hes told - simple as that, at the age of 17 he should be able to do that without any problems at all. He had chores do to, wash dishes twice a week, hoover house once a week, feed cats / clean cat litter tray once a week and clean bathroom once a week(all of which would take up a total of about 1hr 1/2 total a week of his time). The last rule we enforced was that the doors to living room were to be kept closed if no one was in there as the cats would get in and scratch the furniture.
Now he has a part time job so we understood that perhaps he wouldnt be able to do his chores on the days we set so we agreed he would do them the next day a soon as possible. So you can see we were being flexible. He how ever was not, he would rather play on his xbox for 3hrs befor going to work than doing the chore he didnt do the day before - he couldnt see that these chores were given to him because he should be doing them - he lives here, he eats here , he uses the bathroom so he should contribute to the chores. He wouldnt do his chores when he was supposed to so id get on at him and he would think he was being hard done by because i was getting at him as he hadnt washed the dishes for three days or cleaned the bathroom for the second week running.
Anyway the straw that broke the camels back was he just somehow couldnt bring himself to close the sitting room door for some reason know only to himself. If he did shut it at all he'd shut the cats in there but more often than not it would be left open when he went out, the lights would be left on, the tv would be left on - all these things are very simple to check before you go out wouldnt you agree. So getting back to the reason for kicking him out, he goes out on Friday and leaves the livingroom door open (two days earlier i had a go at him (again) for doing the same thing and him not doing his chores) i was obviously annoyed at this given the amount of times he'd been told to close them. Now earlier on in the week i had said it was ok for him to sleep out but given the current circumstances i sent him a txt (hes was at work) and told him that he was no longer allowed to stay out and expressed my displeasure at his lack of being able to do what he was told. I told him i wanted him home by 9.30. When 9.30 arrives youve guessed it he's a no show, i ring him and he doesnt answer his phone but instead just cuts me off, i text him asking why he hasnt come home this is the reply i got - " i am staying out. If you want me to behave like and adult then i am. Last time i checked adults arnt told curfews by their parents".............so my reply to that was "ok then if you think your an adult, if you think all there is to being an adult is staying out when you want and doing what you want when you want then get your things and get out"
I told him he can come home once he's learned his lesson. Ok he has a job but he only earns around £150 - £260 a month depending on the hours he works so he by no way has enough money to get by on. I dont know exactly where he has gone but im assuming its one of his mates (which all live at home with their parents) so i dont imagine he will be allowed to stay for too long.
Do you think ive been too harsh ?
Just to give you and insight as to what brought this about here what prompted my actions.
Ok, now all we asked of him of him is that he does what hes told when hes told - simple as that, at the age of 17 he should be able to do that without any problems at all. He had chores do to, wash dishes twice a week, hoover house once a week, feed cats / clean cat litter tray once a week and clean bathroom once a week(all of which would take up a total of about 1hr 1/2 total a week of his time). The last rule we enforced was that the doors to living room were to be kept closed if no one was in there as the cats would get in and scratch the furniture.
Now he has a part time job so we understood that perhaps he wouldnt be able to do his chores on the days we set so we agreed he would do them the next day a soon as possible. So you can see we were being flexible. He how ever was not, he would rather play on his xbox for 3hrs befor going to work than doing the chore he didnt do the day before - he couldnt see that these chores were given to him because he should be doing them - he lives here, he eats here , he uses the bathroom so he should contribute to the chores. He wouldnt do his chores when he was supposed to so id get on at him and he would think he was being hard done by because i was getting at him as he hadnt washed the dishes for three days or cleaned the bathroom for the second week running.
Anyway the straw that broke the camels back was he just somehow couldnt bring himself to close the sitting room door for some reason know only to himself. If he did shut it at all he'd shut the cats in there but more often than not it would be left open when he went out, the lights would be left on, the tv would be left on - all these things are very simple to check before you go out wouldnt you agree. So getting back to the reason for kicking him out, he goes out on Friday and leaves the livingroom door open (two days earlier i had a go at him (again) for doing the same thing and him not doing his chores) i was obviously annoyed at this given the amount of times he'd been told to close them. Now earlier on in the week i had said it was ok for him to sleep out but given the current circumstances i sent him a txt (hes was at work) and told him that he was no longer allowed to stay out and expressed my displeasure at his lack of being able to do what he was told. I told him i wanted him home by 9.30. When 9.30 arrives youve guessed it he's a no show, i ring him and he doesnt answer his phone but instead just cuts me off, i text him asking why he hasnt come home this is the reply i got - " i am staying out. If you want me to behave like and adult then i am. Last time i checked adults arnt told curfews by their parents".............so my reply to that was "ok then if you think your an adult, if you think all there is to being an adult is staying out when you want and doing what you want when you want then get your things and get out"
I told him he can come home once he's learned his lesson. Ok he has a job but he only earns around £150 - £260 a month depending on the hours he works so he by no way has enough money to get by on. I dont know exactly where he has gone but im assuming its one of his mates (which all live at home with their parents) so i dont imagine he will be allowed to stay for too long.
Do you think ive been too harsh ?
