Hello all, how is everyone doing?

Calranthe

Calranthe

Calranthe

Associate
Joined
5 Oct 2007
Posts
620
I reread the old thread https://forums.overclockers.co.uk/t...ason-for-being-away-for-a-day.18836959/page-4

Thought it was time for an update from me, I will be buying myself a Noble Hero chair on Monday, coming back to this forum is still hard, reading that thread is even harder.

This is the first time I will be buying a gaming chair just for me, over the last 20 years it was always two gaming chairs.

How am I doing?
Officially classed as severely disabled, diagnosis of ADHD, Bipolar type 2 and I am about to have my review and diagnosis for where on the Autistic higher functioning chart I am.

I have 6 monthly CT scans and Blood tests just in case the cancer moves to my lungs (I have nodules on my lungs but non cancerous as of now). not the kind of cancer you get cured from.

I game, stream, vlog, that is about my life now but it is enough, still quite wrecked but using VR and gaming as therapy instead of medication has its plus.

Valve sent me a free Valve Index when they heard of what I went through and some of Paola's artwork will be in a huge game coming out soon (can't say what it is till the game goes gold)

I very quickly realised that work or any kind of making money was out of my wheelhouse, my short term memory is shot and with all the other problems it is not going to happen so I stopped doing streaming/vlogging to make money and now I just do it for fun (took twitch 6 months to remove me from affiliate) but I survive okay on benefits. (PIP + Severe disability payments).

Life goes on, 2020 has been an unusual time, when they said to social distance I had already been in self imposed quarantine for over a year.

How is everyone.

Thank you to everyone who supported me back then and sorry for the few times I lost it.
 
Hey welcome back Calranthe! I was thinking about you a few weeks ago, couldn’t remember the name but I did remember all the hardships you’d been through and the amazing fight you were putting up :)

So good to see you doing well mate, I wouldn’t worry about the past, that was ages ago!

What are you playing nowadays, and what’s your Twitch?
 
Diddums said:
Hey welcome back Calranthe! I was thinking about you a few weeks ago, couldn’t remember the name but I did remember all the hardships you’d been through and the amazing fight you were putting up :)

So good to see you doing well mate, I wouldn’t worry about the past, that was ages ago!

What are you playing nowadays, and what’s your Twitch?
Click to expand...

Hiya :)

I do something called restream which allows me to in real time stream to Facebook, Twitch and youtube live all at the same time. I also used to do mixer but they are shutting down.
My Twitch is
https://www.twitch.tv/quebber
My youtube
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCd0l4UJXXXVlYA1bxKUcJRQ?view_as=subscriber

I do a daily vlog letting people know how I am, that goes up each morning, 1-3 videos, a lot of it is darker stuff, covid19 related (interestingly I was one of the first on youtube to warn people in January that this was going to become a global pandemic, I lost about 200 subscribers that day)
Over 2000 videos on my channel now from cooking, covid19 updates, gaming, unboxing and rants lol.

I stream games at least ones a day every day.

I made a promise in March of Last year when I started vlogging that I would don no persona, that everything I said would be the truth as I saw it, no lies and nothing hidden, if I am having a bad day it goes on video, on the plus side if I say that I am okay then it is actually the real me.

When this all started I was under 5 different psychological consultants, now only 2, my Sr Consultant wants to do a paper with me on the use of technology, VR and vlogging as therapy aids.

Medication options are there but I cope and use all of the above.

If my brain is going in a dark direction, then an hour of beatsaber or chasing dragons in VR, I will do a stream and connect to others.

My channels will never be famous or get a lot of traffic because I am what is called a variety gamer and because I never edit my videos they all go up raw.

My games at the moment are.
Minecraft
Bloons TD 6
BeamNG.Drive
Assassins Creed Odyssey
Ashes of the Singularity
Ghost recon Wildlands
Dishonored 2
Dungeons 3
Dungeons Defenders Awakened.
Doki Doki Literature Club
Earth Defence force 5
Else Heart.Break.()
Fallout: New Vegas
Forts
Gems of War.
GTA 5
They are Billions
StarCrawlers
Mass Effect 3.
The house of fata morgana
Phoenix Point
Plage inc Evolved
Planetary Annihilation Titans
Kerbal space program
Skyrim
Tales of Berseria
Taur
The Long Dark
Total War: WARHAMMER II
Warframe

VR
American TRuck
Darknet.
BeatSaber.
SkyrimVR.
American Truck Simulator.
SkyrimVR
Half-Life: Alyx
No Man's Sky VR
Google Earth VR.
Gorn.
The walking dead SS.
 
wow you managed to get pip for mental disabilities ?
I have clinical psychologist reports etc that refer to me as a "severely disabled adult" with HFA
I had no chance of pip and I went to tribunal, they treated me like I was a benefit scammer probably because I don't look autistic or some ridiculous prejudice.

also the benefit guy from the government who was there made me out to be a illegal scammer because I was claiming carers allowance for my ex wife.

they asked how I could care for someone when I couldn't care for my self and I said I was always there whenever she needed me etc, we literally still live a few doors apart.
they actually told the benefits guy he might want to look in to that as if I had done it illegally.

he didn't respond to it and kept quiet...

when I got home I double checked exactly the requirements for carers allowance and you count as a carer even if you are only available for support over the phone, you just have to be available you don't specifically have to be actively caring for someone.
you just have to be there for them when they need you.

so he allowed them to believe I was doing something illegal and claiming a benefit I should not have been when he knew full damn well it was within the rules of the law..
 
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Glad to see you are still here and trying to make the most of what you have been dealt!

I did try to reach out to you a while back and had no reply which I will admit made me fear the worst!
 
@Calranthe It's good to see an update from you, I like many others have wondered how you have been getting on from time to time. It sounds like things are going as well as can be expected which is great to hear. I can't begin to understand your daily struggles but you should really take some pride from the way you've come through/ are getting through them.
 
arknor said:
wow you managed to get pip for mental disabilities ?
I have clinical psychologist reports etc that refer to me as a "severely disabled adult" with HFA
I had no chance of pip and I went to tribunal, they treated me like I was a benefit scammer probably because I don't look autistic or some ridiculous prejudice.

also the benefit guy from the government who was there made me out to be a illegal scammer because I was claiming carers allowance for my ex wife.

they asked how I could care for someone when I couldn't care for my self and I said I was always there whenever she needed me etc, we literally still live a few doors apart.
they actually told the benefits guy he might want to look in to that as if I had done it illegally.

he didn't respond to it and kept quiet...

when I got home I double checked exactly the requirements for carers allowance and you count as a carer even if you are only available for support over the phone, you just have to be available you don't specifically have to be actively caring for someone.
you just have to be there for them when they need you.

so he allowed them to believe I was doing something illegal and claiming a benefit I should not have been when he knew full damn well it was within the rules of the law..
Click to expand...

No one was surprised more than me, I think it shows how screwed up I really am, I mean the PIP assessment person came to my house, very nice lady, read the information from my GP, Sr psychologist, consultant and she said I am not qualified to give you these tests, left and seems my GP and team talked to them. Next thing I know a phone call from the DWP telling me my money has changed and "Do you know that you are now flagged as severely disabled which means we need to increase your monthly money and backdate it."

I am more broken than most though, my short term memory is shot to hell, for example if I play a computer game and look at a recipe the look at the build screen (minecraft) I will have keep relooking at the recipe page 5-20 times to try and remember it (now I just take a screenshot with my phone) and no it doesn't have to be a complicated recipe, new games with new systems I can't learn easily and that is just my memory, I have post it notes all around the house to remind me to shower or shave, it is normal for me to enter the bathroom 4-5 times in a morning and maybe I will remember to brush my teeth.

Sounds like you had very unhelpful people :(
 
paradigm said:
Glad to see you are still here and trying to make the most of what you have been dealt!

I did try to reach out to you a while back and had no reply which I will admit made me fear the worst!
Click to expand...
Sorry it was one the hardest things to come back to this place, because of how it all happened, now I am back.
 
arknor said:
wow you managed to get pip for mental disabilities ?
I have clinical psychologist reports etc that refer to me as a "severely disabled adult" with HFA
I had no chance of pip and I went to tribunal, they treated me like I was a benefit scammer probably because I don't look autistic or some ridiculous prejudice.
Click to expand...

Have you heard of the free help and support from fightback4justice they are great and sorted out things for my partner and a few others we know. Worth a look if you are still wanting to pursue your pip claim.

Calranthe been following your twitch for a while bud glad your still doing okay and good to see you back here :)
 
How odd...i was thinking about you the other day and wondering how you were doing. I couldn't remember your username to find the old thread though. Nice to see you back.
 
Woot! I didn't die, will upload it to my Youtube channel later, every stream gets uploaded after. Time to do some dishes, how is everyone elses day going?
 
Calranthe said:
No one was surprised more than me, I think it shows how screwed up I really am, I mean the PIP assessment person came to my house, very nice lady, read the information from my GP, Sr psychologist, consultant and she said I am not qualified to give you these tests, left and seems my GP and team talked to them. Next thing I know a phone call from the DWP telling me my money has changed and "Do you know that you are now flagged as severely disabled which means we need to increase your monthly money and backdate it."

I am more broken than most though, my short term memory is shot to hell, for example if I play a computer game and look at a recipe the look at the build screen (minecraft) I will have keep relooking at the recipe page 5-20 times to try and remember it (now I just take a screenshot with my phone) and no it doesn't have to be a complicated recipe, new games with new systems I can't learn easily and that is just my memory, I have post it notes all around the house to remind me to shower or shave, it is normal for me to enter the bathroom 4-5 times in a morning and maybe I will remember to brush my teeth.

Sounds like you had very unhelpful people :(
Click to expand...
Your memory issue sounds like mine. I'm simply diagnosed with working memory issues. It's fun.. Not.
 
Diagro said:
Your memory issue sounds like mine. I'm simply diagnosed with working memory issues. It's fun.. Not.
Click to expand...
Normal things people take for granted like remembering what you had for breakfast or for me at the top of the stairs "hey that is a great subject to do a talk on for my vlog" me at the bottom of the stairs "uhm I know that I had a cool subject to talk about but it is gone", putting together flatpack furniture is always fun as I keep having to look at the instructions again and again.

It sucks and is made worse my consultant thinks because of my ADHD and Bipolar depression, So I try to concentrate on a tutorial in a new game while they are teaching me the controls but my ADHD makes me want to keep looking to the left at that really cool texture they used on a wall and my depression pipes in and does the equivalent of "what is the point, you won't remember it in 2 minutes, oh I know Paola plays the same game as you ask her about the controls....."

Morning :)

Not a bad day today looking forward to tomorrow and being able to order a new chair.

Ohh yay my vlog today you gave me a great idea for it and I am writing it here so I don't forget, "Appreciate your own body, your health because things can change really fast" and boy will you miss stuff like a good memory.
 
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