Help needed for a friend

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I have a friend who has extremely strict parents. She's at Uni atm and amongst other things she doesn't have a bank account, thus no student loan, her parents have all her ID stuff (that's just the stuff related to this post). Also, and importantly, she doesn't have control over her mail so stuff can't be posted to her house for her eyes only.

She wants to fix the above. So this means getting her a passport so she can open a bank account and then applying for a student loan.

Question is, how does she go about it? Can she get a passport without ID? And if she can't (say if she needs a birth certificate or something), can she get that without any ID). Also can you collect the form of ID needed in person (thus no mail).

Also, she's looking at smile.co.uk as an internet bank so she doesn't receive mail - is that a good option?
 
can she get a passport without ID.....?really!! (sorry)

No chance getting a PP without ID, i think you need to go for an interview now too if its her first passport.

If she's at uni she must be atleast 18. Could she not just say to her parents give me my ****** stuff!??
 
It's not like that when you have that sort of parents, especially when you live at home - I guess it's not so easy to understand for someone who hasn't gone through it.

She's 19 and it's not her first passport
 
Sounds like an awful lot of hassle compared to asking the parents to treat her as an adult but that said she could apply for a replacement Birth Certificate from the General Register Office. However to apply for a full adult passport your friend would also need the mother or fathers birth certificate/registration documents/passport that was valid at the time of your friends birth - conditions explained further here*.

Effectively without the parents co-operating she's going to have a major struggle to do it.

*I'm guessing at 19 she'll never have had an adult passport to go for a renewal (which is somewhat less stringent since you've already been through a lot of the checks) so the above would still apply. She'll also need someone who has known her for 2+ years and of standing in the community (a bank manager will do) to sign her photos and verify she is who she says she is.
 
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**** EDIT... Above post said the same as mine only much better!!! ****


It must be hell for the girl. My parents are SO laid back. I cant imagine what it must be like.
 
if she has anything sent to her house and she has it marked as private for the adressee only and her parents open it or withold it then they are breaking the law.

They are also breaking the law by withholding her identification from her.

She is 19 years old and has the legal right to those things.

Honestly she needs to make a choice she can continue to let her parents control her life which means she will basically be able to do nothing without ID.

Or she says enough is enough and stands up to her parents and demands that they give her her ID and anything else that is legaly hers that they are witholding.

If they refuse she is within her rights to call the police and force the issue.
 
How strict are they? Are they extremely conservative?

Perhaps she can blackmail them into handing the ID over, perhaps by indulging in a spot of inter-racial marriage, propose a portfolio of her preferred body modifcations and facial tattoo's or invite them around to her girlfriends houes for a spot of pagan dancing.

I'm sure they'd cough up the documents eventually.
 
matskiosaurus said:
How strict are they? Are they extremely conservative?

Perhaps she can blackmail them into handing the ID over, perhaps by indulging in a spot of inter-racial marriage, propose a portfolio of her preferred body modifcations and facial tattoo's or invite them around to her girlfriends houes for a spot of pagan dancing.

I'm sure they'd cough up the documents eventually.
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That would be funny...!
 
paulh said:
If she's at uni she must be atleast 18. Could she not just say to her parents give me my ****** stuff!??
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Eh? You can go to uni much earlier, I did.

It's an odd situation Lark. Obviously one response would be consult the police and pursue a legal remedy with a court order for her parents to hand over her property. Though, this isn't an advisable option.
There must be a reason why the parents are so strict, and probably don't even realize that they are acting inappropriately. A good sit down and conversation with her parents, with you (or someone that she trusts) would be the best place to start. Get everything off her chest and explain why she has a problem with her parents and what she wants.
This also will be pretty hard, therefore if that's not an option I would advise her to write a letter to her parents detailing similar things to what I suggested above. Then give this to her parents. They can then read this and will actually know how their daughter feels and hopefully they can move past the issues and fix things.

Goodluck!
 
Can I just ask? Are her parents Asian? A lot of Asian parents are like that tbh. I think she should ask her for her stuff, and she can say that a student loan would help her with uni and stuff.
 
If she lives under their roof and is only allowed supervised access to her ID there is little chance she will be able to do what you ask without her parents finding out.

Her parents must be paying her tuition fees and rudimentary living costs? How would they react if they found out she had borrowed x thousand pounds through a student loan to spend on partying/holidays? No offence intended if she has a productive use for the money but you make it sound like she wants to borrow money to finance 'having a life' as it were.

Would her parents be open to her taking on part time work of some sort or voluntary work? Something she can sell as productive and equipping her for later life. A glimpse into the real world to make sure she is motivated to score that first class degree etc.. It could also start giving her some independence, possibly some money and bank account if required for wages.

Or it could all be in vain and she'll have to bite the bullet and run away before being shipped off to Pakistan for an arranged marriage!
 
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Fourstar said:
If she lives under their roof and is only allowed supervised access to her ID there is little chance she will be able to do what you ask without her parents finding out.

Her parents must be paying her tuition fees and rudimentary living costs? How would they react if they found out she had borrowed x thousand pounds through a student loan to spend on partying/holidays? No offence intended if she has a productive use for the money but you make it sound like she wants to borrow money to finance 'having a life' as it were.

Would her parents be open to her taking on part time work of some sort or voluntary work? Something she can sell as productive and equipping her for later life. A glimpse into the real world to make sure she is motivated to score that first class degree etc.. It could also start giving her some independence, possibly some money and bank account if required for wages.

Or it could all be in vain and she'll have to bite the bullet and run away before being shipped off to Pakistan for an arranged marriage!
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Very true, the fact that she has no bank account, or student loan would mean her parents would have to be funding her completely whilst at Uni.

So, she would have to be careful not to bite the proverbial hand. Why not wait until she has graduated, had a free education. Then she can up-sticks and 'do one'.

A vastly superior tactic to getting on the wrong side of them at this early stage.
 
sounds like she needs to stand up to her parents and make them realise she has a life of her own. shes not their puppet, they don't control her, she should be able to enjoy life at that age and not have strict parents holding her back.

tell her to just search the house and find her stuff. get into an argument with her parents, threaten to quit uni - parents will say 'go on then, its your life you're ruining', but deep down they love her and will eventually give in and let her have her way. if not, find a part time job?
 
Moses99p said:
I'd prefer to have student debt + freedom, as opposed to no debt + oppression, tbh.
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She's a young girl, so long as she isn't too fussy she can 'pay her way' by other means. I'm not implying prostitution, more the inate ability of girls to get the finer things in life for free from the promise of flaunting their wares.

Also, this method employs the much sought after 'two birds' bonus. Free thrills and her parents won't be best pleased with her shenanigans.

However, they both come with a large burden to bear later in life. One moral, the other financial. I know which one would appeal to me. :D
 
Moses99p said:
I'd prefer to have student debt + freedom, as opposed to no debt + oppression, tbh.
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True but it is a tricky situation and all depends on the family structure.

Biding her time till after graduation in a stable, if repressive family then leaving when she starts her graduate career would probably be better if the alternative is being kicked out on the street with nothing but a suitcase and the words "never darken this door again".
 
Tell the family to give her, HER things as she's an adult now they are hers.

Parents need to get over themselves she's not a little child anymore she's at university away from home and she needs things to be able to do things an adult needs to do.
 
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