I must admit that my online experience/exposure of PlayStation Network is mainly from my interaction with my PS3. However I have some friends who have a PS4 and they have said that the online functionality is still leagues behind the Xbox experience.
Little things such as parties and friends requests etc. Download times of purchases (on good connections) chat still being a bit temperamental etc.
Given its a new console most of these things are probably down to launch demand/strain on the service. And I agree Xbox Live is not without its faults But IMO (which I understand is only an opinion) the online functionality of the PS Network is still a tad behind.
Your mates don't know what they are talking about.
I have used party chat on the ps4 several times and it's working perfectly fine.
Also what is wrong with friend requests? You send a request ,they accept it, your now friends, is there a different method that MS use that is better?
Download times has nothing to do with ps4 but ISP's throttling them especially Virgin Media, so you cannot blame Sony for that, if your with another ISP it should work flawlessly therefore complaints about the speed should be aimed at VM.
I have owned both a xbox and a 360 and the ps4 is miles ahead of both of them imo, and so it should be. The only issue I can think of is that the bundled headset is crap, but what do you expect when they sell the package at a loss and they need to cut corners somewhere to keep costs down, i'd rather have the same console with a crap headset than a worse console with a better headset. Bare in mind the console is a lot cheaper than a XB1 and also a lot more powerful.
Multitasking is also flawless, so i can jump out of a game send a party invite and then jump back in within seconds, there's no lagg like there is on the 360.