how can I prevent son from using internet after 11pm
- Thread starter pumaz
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Or you know, just say what you actually mean.
I actually wonder why people bother bringing kids into the world if they are just gonna treat them like that as soon as they get bored of them.
Herp derp but you know what he meant! Derp why are you being SO picky Herp de derpity herp derp.
Soldato
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You are not their housemate, you are their parent.
He is an adult who needs to fend for himself or he will become too far gone into the world of joblessness to ever bring back.
As said previously, being his enabler is the worst possible action:
"You need to pay rent but don't worry about it until you find a job..."
"He can't get a job because..."
"He had a hard time at work and wasn't happy..."
etc.
Why are you acting more immature than the person this entire thread is supposed to be about?
This isn't a support forum because your parents didn't raise you(or are continuing to raise you most probably) to decent standards, you can continue to make yourself look like an idiot but please you've done such a good job so far I think you should quit when you're ahead.
OpenToSuggestions said:
Apparently people don't seem to understand this, I had an extremely tough upbringing and I wouldn't have traded it for anything, because I know exactly what it got me in the long run.
"extremely tough" upbringing is not what you are saying - "doing anything he wants" is not right and quite frankly your "extremely tough" upbringing has made you in a complete abusive so and so calling people idiots and being emotionally abusive by saying "You must be a proper blast at parties."
no
2 things:
1) if it is not psychological problem based then it is discipline based. This means that strict rules are applied BUT what needs to be taught is if the kid wants to do what he wants he has to live for himself.
--> no beating, chucking out etc etc. Its as simple as * asserting * the parents boundaries and giving the choice to the kid to abide by them or he has to find a way to move out on his own.
This is what is known as teaching not punishment. Kids need to be taught how to live their lives not beat them into submission...If the kid is behaving abusively then that is another matter and calls for more confrontation - only in this scenario is this applicable.
2) if it is psychological then gaming all day long is a sign of escapism, not discipline. For which punishment does nothing except create deeper scares and serves only to feed the depressive state.
Human beings are social animals - problems with emotionally abusive parents and no social circle create bad escapist habits and takes decades of healing once aware.
******
now once the true reason is established then do what is applicable.
To limit internet you can do a few things:
* The router probably has settings that you can change.
* The router can be put on an electricity timer
* Electricity can be put on timer for various parts of the house. Or a more in depth electrical layout to give more "control"
The list can go on but the message is to create boundaries you 1st have to create the ability to control the boundary. The control is done only when there is breach. Once the boundaries are fully established does the ability to control become irrelevant. However the ability has still to be there. Similar to how a company controls it's IT. 90% will abide by the rules but the control is there so as to stop the other 10%
no
2 things:
1) if it is not psychological problem based then it is discipline based. This means that strict rules are applied BUT what needs to be taught is if the kid wants to do what he wants he has to live for himself.
--> no beating, chucking out etc etc. Its as simple as * asserting * the parents boundaries and giving the choice to the kid to abide by them or he has to find a way to move out on his own.
This is what is known as teaching not punishment. Kids need to be taught how to live their lives not beat them into submission...If the kid is behaving abusively then that is another matter and calls for more confrontation - only in this scenario is this applicable.
2) if it is psychological then gaming all day long is a sign of escapism, not discipline. For which punishment does nothing except create deeper scares and serves only to feed the depressive state.
Human beings are social animals - problems with emotionally abusive parents and no social circle create bad escapist habits and takes decades of healing once aware.
******
now once the true reason is established then do what is applicable.
To limit internet you can do a few things:
* The router probably has settings that you can change.
* The router can be put on an electricity timer
* Electricity can be put on timer for various parts of the house. Or a more in depth electrical layout to give more "control"
The list can go on but the message is to create boundaries you 1st have to create the ability to control the boundary. The control is done only when there is breach. Once the boundaries are fully established does the ability to control become irrelevant. However the ability has still to be there. Similar to how a company controls it's IT. 90% will abide by the rules but the control is there so as to stop the other 10%
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Wasn't saying there shouldn't be some standards and reasonable rules/expectations, etc. but for some parents its "my way or the highway" the moment they hit ~18 and just makes me wonder why they bothered.
why they bothered? because it's a criminal offence before legal adult age to do those things - after 18 yrs the kid is an "adult" and by law the parents have no legal obligation
Not quite the perspective I was coming from.
I sometime wonder why some parents decided to bring a child into the world given the way they treat them the moment they become an adult and sickens me they can't step upto their own responsibilities if it was an "accident".
EDIT: Maybe its something thats more impressed on me as 1-2 of my school friends were treated like that either kicked out the first moment possible or had to live with stupid rules even as an adult if they wanted to stay at home and for reasons I'm not going into I'd be in a really bad place if my parents had been like that.
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Associate
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It amazes me how far off topic these things go. OP asks how to stop his son having internet access 24/7 so that he can get some sleep and hopfully encourage sone to stop being a useless oxygen thief.
OCUK starts on about oppressive parents that should never have had kids.
OCUK starts on about oppressive parents that should never have had kids.
Your profile says 24. Grow up
Ahhh, "grow up", that phrase that doesn't really mean anything, but that people use as a response to something they don't like or disapprove of.
To answer the original question - its pretty hard to stop someone accessing the internet without direct access to their machine.
IP Address filter can be avoided by changing address, Mac addresses can be spoofed.
I know when I was younger if I wouldn't get off the computer, or was making too much noise after being warned my Dad would walk in the room after my last warning and pull out the plug and take it with him. Lost a new TNT2 to one of these sudden unpluggings... =/
Other solutions dependant on how savvy you are would be to set up an in-line proxy so at certain times turn off access to specific websites etc but overall it sounds like more of a respect problem as I know I would crap my pants when I heard my Dad getting out of bed for the second time - I used to pre emptively shut down. xD
If he pays rent though - screw it, let him do what he wants. Its his life, never too late, have another kid and write this one off as a MK1 failure.
IP Address filter can be avoided by changing address, Mac addresses can be spoofed.
I know when I was younger if I wouldn't get off the computer, or was making too much noise after being warned my Dad would walk in the room after my last warning and pull out the plug and take it with him. Lost a new TNT2 to one of these sudden unpluggings... =/
Other solutions dependant on how savvy you are would be to set up an in-line proxy so at certain times turn off access to specific websites etc but overall it sounds like more of a respect problem as I know I would crap my pants when I heard my Dad getting out of bed for the second time - I used to pre emptively shut down. xD
If he pays rent though - screw it, let him do what he wants. Its his life, never too late, have another kid and write this one off as a MK1 failure.