How can men actually be this cruel?

Saberu said:
I'd be interested to know what Ice On Fire and wild58 think if the tables were turned and it was the girl that wanted the abortion and the father didn't.

Oh, that's a thought...

Well, if I wanted the child and the girl didn't then so be it. I would have to respect her wishs. As it's not me who's having the baby. I most certainly wouldn't force her to have it. As she's the main role for the baby, who needs to care for it more then I do. Breast feeding, ect. So if she didn't want the baby, and was forced to anyway, that baby, to me wouldn't be cared for very well at all.:(

However, having said that. If that was the case in a relationship. I would also leave the girl as I personally do want kids later on in life. So would not want to be with anyone who doesn't want them, if we were getting married ect.
 
Ice On Fire said:
Oh, that's a thought...

Well, if I wanted the child and the girl didn't then so be it. I would have to respect her wishs. As it's not me who's having the baby. I most certainly wouldn't force her to have it. As she's the main role for the baby, who needs to care for it more then I do. Breast feeding, ect. So if she didn't want the baby, and was forced to anyway, that baby, to me wouldn't be cared for very well at all.:(

.

so what your saying is that she should effectively harbour all the power, yet rescind any responsibility for pregnancy in any given situation?
 
Ice On Fire said:
Oh, that's a thought...

Lets just presume you wanted to take sole responsibility of the baby to look after it yourself but you expected her to "help out" or pay maintenence.

Do you still believe she has every right to have an abortion?

Nickg stop stealing my point I was getting there slowly, I was going to hit him with it when he answered "yes" to this question :p

Also it would effectively be double standards.
 
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Ice On Fire said:
Well, if I wanted the child and the girl didn't then so be it. I would have to respect her wishs. As it's not me who's having the baby. I most certainly wouldn't force her to have it. As she's the main role for the baby, who needs to care for it more then I do. Breast feeding, ect. So if she didn't want the baby, and was forced to anyway, that baby, to me wouldn't be cared for very well at all.:(

:eek: That's massively hypocritical (and sexist perhaps)!!!

What are you effectively saying is that it's ok if the woman wants an abortion, but not the man???
 
I can't personally say exacly what I'd do in that situation, as I will be with a girl who I know wants kids as I do as well.

Anyway, like said before. This is a topic that could be argued for years. So I'll leave it at this. :p
 
Samtheman1k said:
:eek: That's massively hypocritical (and sexist perhaps)!!!

What are you effectively saying is that it's ok if the woman wants an abortion, but not the man???


No, that wasn't what I was saying.
 
Samtheman1k said:
:eek: That's massively hypocritical (and sexist perhaps)!!!

What are you effectively saying is that it's ok if the woman wants an abortion, but not the man???

As the situation for the man and woman is different then there must be different said rules/ethics/feelings that apply to each. I dont think what he says is sexist or hypocritical. The woman is in a totally different situation to the man, her ability to dictate the outcome of the pregnancy reflects that.
 
I think we can all agree that this guy is very scared (i know i'd be filling my shorts) and he's just saying this stuff to try and scare her into having an abortion. All i can say is that i would not like to be in this guys situation. Children do change futures so much and this guy obviously wasn't ready for children and i think dragging him and forcing him to support the mother with the child might not be the best idea.
 
willd58 said:
Umm, exactly, the guys had his chance to not knock the girl up, he blew it? So now its all on the girl? The guy can clear off if he wants to, even if an abortion would kill the girl, which is somtimes the case, as i worringly found out.

But, equally, she had her chance not to be knocked up by the guy.

It takes two to tango (Rape aside which is totally different).
 
Gaygle said:
I think we can all agree that this guy is very scared (i know i'd be filling my shorts) and he's just saying this stuff to try and scare her into having an abortion. All i can say is that i would not like to be in this guys situation. Children do change futures so much and this guy obviously wasn't ready for children and i think dragging him and forcing him to support the mother with the child might not be the best idea.

I agree and I think it would be best for this woman to go for an abortion or adoption. The "relationship" seems to be nothing more than the two enjoying sex rather than anything serious and now that she's pregnant this woman is surprised at the reaction of the man?

Either way this would not be the ideal basis for the child to be brought up in if the woman was to keep it.
 
willd58 said:
Right, so only rich, older people should have kids? :rolleyes:


O RLY, i like the way youve decided this with barely any knowledge of the sitchuation, GG :rolleyes:

:rolleyes:


So if one person wants to keep it, and the other doesnt? Who decides? The guy doesnt want it, so is the girl forced to have an abortion? Or shall we just let him scarper off and force the girl to bring up the child with no help from his side, and have the child be fatherless? Get out of jail free for the guys right?

Oh wait, both of those sitchuations are retarded, thats why the law is the law. Dont have sex if you cant face that.

where did i say only rich older people should have children? people who cannot cope (this girl wants the father to help out, if she could cope on her own she would tell him where to get off completely) should not bring children into this world. money has no bearing, the love and happyness is all that matters. a single mother who is a stresshead who cant cope is not a good sitchuation(sic) for a child to be in.

yes ive decided that with not much information, why? because this is GD where 10% of a story gets told and you have to base opinions on it.

it boils down to the mother all the time, however in a loving relationship (which this clearly isnt) it should be a joint decision.
She had the opportunity to do something in terms of protection but she didnt, if the bloke wants nothing to do then he can pay from a far and have nothing to do with the child. he should be allowed to do that, no one should be forced into 'caring' about an unwanted child.
 
Saberu said:
I'd be interested to know what Ice On Fire and wild58 think if the tables were turned and it was the girl that wanted the abortion and the father didn't.
Girls choice, its her body. If the guy wanted a baby he should couple with a girl he loves and trusts who wants a baby with him.In the same way abortion is a girl only thing, whereas to have an accident takes 2.

If abortion involved cutting off both arms and both legs of the girl, would the guys here all expect the girl to do it rather than pay for the mistake themsevles when the kid is born because the girl decides not to do it?
 
willd58 said:
If abortion involved cutting off both arms and both legs of the girl, would the guys here all expect the girl to do it rather than pay for the mistake themsevles when the kid is born because the girl decides not to do it?

what a stupid thing to even compare abortion to.
im not suprised that you havent been given an answer.
 
Morba said:
what a stupid thing to even compare abortion to.
im not suprised that you havent been given an answer.


What he is actually trying to get across to you guys is that if us men actually knew what a woman goes through, when she has an adbortion. We would think twice about it.

Well, that is how I see it anyway. So correct me if I'm wrong, Wild58. :cool:
 
Ice On Fire said:
What he is actually trying to get across to you guys is that if us men actually knew what a woman goes through, when she has an adbortion. We would think twice about it.

Well, that is how I see it anyway. So correct me if I'm wrong, Wild58. :cool:

it is still a stupid comparison. women do not go through the equivalent of choosing to have their limbs cut off.
 
Morba said:
it is still a stupid comparison. women do not go through the equivalent of choosing to have their limbs cut off.


No, obviously they don't. :rolleyes:

However you're missing the point here completely.
 
no, im not. you are both trying to make it sound like to have an abortion would be to finish a womans active life in the capacity that it is.
this is not the case.

im fully aware of what goes on both physically and mentally to *some* women when they have an abortion.
im also fully aware of what happens to babies when they grow up unwanted and unloved or in a life that doesnt give them the best opportunity.

and people say the DM over dramatises.... !
 
Ice On Fire said:
What he is actually trying to get across to you guys is that if us men actually knew what a woman goes through, when she has an adbortion. We would think twice about it.

Well, that is how I see it anyway. So correct me if I'm wrong, Wild58. :cool:
do you even know what abortion is like? aside from mental pain some women have its a straight forward procedure
 
Posty said:
do you even know what abortion is like? aside from mental pain some women have its a straight forward procedure

so is a c-section, doesnt make it good for the woman or put her in a place of no risk ;]
 
Posty said:
do you even know what abortion is like? aside from mental pain some women have its a straight forward procedure


Yes, posty. I do. And if you've read all of my threads, you would've noticed that I know a woman who has had an abortion. It still scars her to this day. :(
 
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