How do i get someone to open up?

Conrad11

Conrad11

Conrad11

Soldato
Joined
12 Jun 2005
Posts
5,361
Hi there,

I have a slight problem.

One of my mates has been feeling down recently and I have no idea why. I have tried leaving him be for a while but it ain't getting any better. There has been quite a dramatic change in his personality.

Whatever I try I can't get him to open up as I think if he shared it, it would make him feel better. "A problem shared is a problem halved".

What should I do to get him to open up and get him back to himself?

Thanks...
 
spirit said:
tbh let him know your there if he wants it, then just leave him to talk to you on his own time...
Click to expand...
icon14.gif
 
Maybe it's not your job to make him open up, just be supportive should he need the support. One of my mates was in a similar situation, I told him I was always there if he needed to talk, and he occasionally chatted to me about it. He had someone who he opened up to a lot more though, and that's fair enough. Does he have the same? In which case, leave him be. Also if he doesn't admit he has a problem (he might not have, and you just think he has? dont mean to sound patronising), then there's not too much you can really do without annoying him. He'll have to come to terms with it in his own head first before he wants to talk to someone about it.
 
Make a firm point that you are there for him, if he ever needs you, to talk or whatever. Tell him you won't judge him and reassure him that your friendship is big enough to cope with anything he might be concerned about, and strong enough to support him.

Do this once, then the ball is in his court.
 
Beansprout said:
He's gay and he wants your dad.

Just leave him alone...one of my pet hates is people asking me "are you ok" or "what's up".
Click to expand...

I know what you mean I get annoyed when peolpe ask me, but when I was depressed thats all I really wanted someone to do was ask me how I was feeling and stuff.
 
Pretty much an echo of what others have said; let him know you're there for support if he needs it, but leave him be. He probably just wants a bit of space to sort his head out.
 
meh, i was going to make a joke about rohypnol...but it was too easy.

personally, if my mates are down and they want to talk, they know i'm there. if they're down and don't want to talk, i wont try and make them. some people just want to deal with stuff on their own, and even though i'm sure you genuinely do care about him, it's very easy to unintentionally come off as being nosey. if he wont open up, he wont open up. you can't force him.

unless you have rohypnol.
 
Beansprout said:
He's gay and he wants your dad.
Click to expand...

I know it sounds stupid, but im tired, i read that and thought....oh s*** what do i do about that.....then about 1/2 a second later i realised wtf, how would this guy know :|

^^ignore^^

Well I would say I was his best mate, and I know there is something up as he has dramatically changed in character. I have already mentioned all the i hear for you stuff.....first thing i did.
 
Joke about with him then take the **** calling him a mardy**** etc and he will either smash your face in or tell you whats up.

Worked for me the other day.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom