I started a new job in January and I have to admit from the outset that I think I have struggled, (even though every appraisal has been positive and I received an award for some work that I completed). I have contemplated leaving, because I had a terrible week which nearly pushed me over he edge. I was talked out of it.
The biggest cause of my misery is SAS, I have never programmed before and as I dont use it all the time I am picking it up slower than the new people who use it most days.
This has been brought into stark contrast this week when I have been on a SAS training course with work, everyone is is soldiering on and I was OK until today when I started to struggle and not follow what was going on. It was at this point I default to my usual behaviours which are,
1) Start getting angry with myself
2) Getting really angry with the person teaching and the question in my own head (I am very polite if the teacher comes over)
3) Go silent and into my shell (so much so that the teacher commented on it to the whole class, cheers

)
4) Get more angry with myself
5) Check out of whatever I am doing, even if I understand the question by this point it is too late I have convinced myself I can not do it
6)Occasionally it will get so bad that I stop eating for a day or so and cant sleep ( I think this is some kind of subconscious self punishment)
So is my reaction OTT or do people have similar reactions?