How do you spend your evenings in your 30s, 40s, and beyond?

If your 16 then this forum really is filled with a bunch of old men compared to you. I don't think OcUK is particularly attractive to the youfs.
 
I'm just short of 50 years of age now, my wife and I have been together for 26 years and married for 16 years. We are firmly in the "DINK" catagory and we're both very happy with this as neither of us ever wanted children. Pre Covid this meant at least two foreign holidays a year, two cars, and no debt apart from a small mortgage which will be paid off next year.

We're now looking at semi retiring (moving to part time hours) in order to provide a better work life balance. To answer your question OP we're both currently working full time hours and I work a constant nightshift pattern with work taking up a substantial part of our time.
 
I'm married with 2 kids,I'm 39 and so is the wife. Boys 3 and 8. Our time is exclusively taken up by work, kids, sleeping and eating. The wife goes to bed early at around 9 to read and I play some cod or destiny 2 for a bit. We try our very best to spend quality time just the two of us but being able to afford or carve out the time is extremely difficult. We both drink too much and argue too much but we have a generally happy and stable home. Having kids would bring some structure to your life but you basically give your own life up for them for the first decade or so at least. Having kids is the most selfless thing you'll ever do and I wouldn't have them if I just "wanted some structure" in my life.

There is also all the expectations that come with being a parent. There is so much pressure from outside influences like school, social media, other parents etc. The kids have to have all the latest stuff, new clothes, computers etc. It's quite a hard existence being a parent in modern times. We are also expected to work to provide but also take over the moment we walk in the door right upto convincing them to go to sleep, every single night. Everything is a convincing discussion with kids.

The op makes me feel a little envious tbh. I'd give anything to feel like I have time on my hands to be creative or bored.
 
Last edited:
Jean-F said:
dave, you start by saying, “Try living in rural Wales”, then proceed to give perfectly valid reasons to give rural Wales a wide berth.
As a dyed in the wool Londoner, I wouldn’t fancy it, but I remember thinking what a nice place mid and north Wales was, when I was running tanker loads of transformer oil from London, up the A5, (pre any M-Ways in Mid Wales), to Wylfa Power Station on Anglesey.
I only ever stopped for coffee, but I recall signs for places like Llangollen, Betws-y-Coed, Blaenau Ffestiniog, Bangor, then over the bridge to Anglesey.
Click to expand...


I have had to work over that bridge - Anglesey is the only place in UK that trees grow at 45 deg. I heard BAE took new planes up there on back of trailer to wind tunnel test them.

As for the OP - we are child free - After being married for 1 year and meeting all her family I went and had the chop. No chance kids with that lot.
 
dLockers said:
Every thread over the last few days has made me question whether I am on a forum for tired old men, and being groomed.
Click to expand...
Ikr. "Halloween is just hell raising kids making too much damn noise", "all this black pride stuff upsets my whiteness", "I'm bored of being wealthy and having so much free time".

FWIW, I work too much, hop straight from my desk to dad duties, stagger downstairs around 815 after bedtime stories and battling our daughter's desire to stay up all night, eat dinner with my wife, game until about 10/1030, go up to bed and watch an episode of a sitcom we've both seen a million times while we have a snuggle, go to sleep. It's tiring, but nice.

On a weekend, things are more fun. Today we got a bowl of popcorn and Maltesers, got cosy on the sofa with a blanket and watched the new my little pony film. My wife is now doing a workout and having a bit of downtime before we swap and I do some gaming. A lazy Sunday to balance the play dates and madness from yesterday.
 
azazl187 said:
I'm married with 2 kids,I'm 39 and so is the wife. Boys 3 and 8. Our time is exclusively taken up by work, kids, sleeping and eating. The wife goes to bed early at around 9 to read and I play some cod or destiny 2 for a bit. We try our very best to spend quality time just the two of us but being able to afford or carve out the time is extremely difficult. We both drink too much and argue too much but we have a generally happy and stable home. Having kids would bring some structure to your life but you basically give your own life up for them for the first decade or so at least. Having kids is the most selfless thing you'll ever do and I wouldn't have them if I just "wanted some structure" in my life.

There is also all the expectations that come with being a parent. There is so much pressure from outside influences like school, social media, other parents etc. The kids have to have all the latest stuff, new clothes, computers etc. It's quite a hard existence being a parent in modern times. We are also expected to work to provide but also take over the moment we walk in the door right upto convincing them to go to sleep, every single night. Everything is a convincing discussion with kids.

The op makes me feel a little envious tbh. I'd give anything to feel like I have time on my hands to be creative or bored.
Click to expand...

Hmm, I don't remember writing this post, but I must have done... :p

It's BAR or PUBG with my brothers and few mates, but otherwise very similar situation. Wouldn't change it for anything though :)
 
2 girls, 7 and 17.

I find very few things better in life than talk with my kids and notice how more mature and wiser they got as a result of previous conversations we've had.
 
Don't have kids because you're bored, get a cat :p

OP this sounds like the opposite of a problem, the world is your oyster you can literally do anything you want. Travel, take up new hobbies, join clubs, get fit, reinvent yourself, get involved with local community projects, study and move up in your field/try a new challenge etc.
 
If you don't have kids, then do whatever you want! Go for walks, to the cinema, to the theatre, to concerts, to art galleries, to restaurants, pubs, bars, go bowling, join a gym, take up yoga or pilates or both, do a evening class in whatever interests you, join the OU, volunteer, brew beer, grow weed, meditate.

I would do all of the above if I wasn't so damn lazy :D
 
Graetzbridge said:
I agree. I'm in my seventies. I have children and grand children and we love them dearly when they come to visit for a few days. And just as dearly when we send them home!
But the dog is my companion. A big gentle fellow.
Click to expand...

I’m like you, but just a bit older, slight difference is I never want my grandkids to go when they come to see me.
I’ve thought about suing for custody, but my wife says that my daughters-in-law would never forgive me, oh, and we don’t have a dog either.
 
34 here with 2 young kids. Wish I had time to feel bored in the evenings!

If I didn't have kids, I'd spend way more time cycling (especially in the nice summer evenings). I'd also like to cook more - I'd definitely get a nice pizza oven to go on the patio for those nice lazy after work wind-downs. When the weather gets cold and miserable I'd probably spend a lot of time travelling to go somewhere slightly less miserable.

Working as a couple for a few years with no kids I'd be saving a stack of cash, so would try and save enough of a chunk to go away somewhere for a few months and completely escape. A nice tropical island where I'd spend have a the day in the sea, the other half just beach combing/cleaning up and doing a bit of conservation work.

If you really can't think of something to do with your spare time, then I'd probably look at changing career to something I really enjoyed doing (even if the pay was terrible), then I wouldn't mind working all hours of the day.
 
Jean-F said:
I’m like you, but just a bit older, slight difference is I never want my grandkids to go when they come to see me.
I’ve thought about suing for custody, but my wife says that my daughters-in-law would never forgive me, oh, and we don’t have a dog either.
Click to expand...
Yes, I was teasing a bit. The two older girls have been visiting us since nappy stage, Now nine and fourteen. The older is particularly fond of the dog.
Sz9eYw1.jpg
 
If having children feels like a chore to you then don't bother. I have a daughter 14 and we both decided to have a second who is now two but it is fantastic going through it all again.

Yes it is not easy but it is the most rewarding thing you can ever have in life. From watching my son learning new words to my daughter slowly becoming a woman.

I wouldn't wait too much longer as experiencing your own grandchildren is like all the great stuff of being a parent without worrying about all the hard bits :p.
 
How do you spend your evenings in your 30s, 40s, and beyond?
Click to expand...


EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A VHS INTO THE SLOT. ITS CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I START DOING THE MOVES ALONGSIDE WITH THE MAIN CHARACTER, RIDDICK. I DO EVERY MOVE AND I DO EVERY MOVE HARD. MAKIN WHOOSHING SOUNDS WHEN I SLAM DOWN SOME NECRO ******** OR EVEN WHEN I MESS UP TECHNIQUE. NOT MANY CAN SAY THEY ESCAPED THE GALAXYS MOST DANGEROUS PRISON. I CAN. I SAY IT AND I SAY IT OUTLOUD EVERYDAY TO PEOPLE IN MY COLLEGE CLASS AND ALL THEY DO IS PROVE PEOPLE IN COLLEGE CLASS CAN STILL BE IMMATURE JEKRS. AND IVE LEARNED ALL THE LINES AND IVE LEARNED HOW TO MAKE MYSELF AND MY APARTMENT LESS LONELY BY SHOUTING EM ALL. 2 HOURS INCLUDING WIND DOWN EVERY MORNIng
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom