How does your life change when you move out?

opethdisciple said:
My problem is I just don't know if say 1k a month is enough for EVERYTHING else after paying mortgage.

When I went to speak to some estate agents a few months back what they told me about ground rent, council tax etc etc... it started to look like I wouldn't be able to afford it on my own. Or it would be a real stretch.
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EDIT: Sorry just realised you said AFTER mortgage. Yes that should be enough.
 
opethdisciple said:
My problem is I just don't know if say 1k a month is enough for EVERYTHING else after paying mortgage.
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Do yourself a budget plan but my immediate reaction is that £1000/month after paying your mortgage is a walk in the park.
 
IronWarrior said:
If they got a problem with that, clearly they not worthwhile to begin with.
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Well if its that weird 35 year old man who only dates 17 year old teenagers off the internet then yes, they wont have a problem with that.

Any fully grown woman, wouldn't give them the time of day. Shows lack of ambition and no self-esteem.
 
London and cost I'm guessing has something to do with it, but at 35 I don't know how you manage. It's painful for some late teens, for me it was early/mid twenties and having to move back temporarily. I can't imagine it at 30+
 
moved out at 25, had experiances with friends being forced to move out Much earlier. the biggest thing for me was sorting direct debits with the bank for rent and seeing that it did'nt match my payday, like 2 weeks apart. the bank were like nope, not getting an overdraft you need to talk to the owner. 5 min talk with owner, 6 weeks first rent payment, no partys for me that first 2 months. umm real sense of more confidence mixed with home-sickness as i was 300 miles away from my mum. going solo just shows you how the system works and it's a good experiance to have, wether you like it or not.

so everything paid i have this much money, do i save or do i go out every night. or do i work longer and get overtime, if you get overtime pay then do that and go out at the weekends, never work for free. this is'nt japan, or where ever they do that.
 
Was out at 18 could not stand it any longer (and as above was pretty much forced out) and the fact i was under my parents rules as well (and rightly so its there house!) had very little money managed to get a 1 bed housing association flat killed me on my wage had around 100 quid for the month after paying everything (not food) and that was also my then girlfriend eating as well and still going to school!

it was hard yes, but 15 years on, married to same girly 3 bed house, better job, 3 kids:eek:. it all starts from moving out of your parents.
 
opethdisciple said:
My plan is definitely to move out in the next year or two. I've been saying it for a while but it's true. Last year I started looking at the financials and decided that although I have money I really needed a bigger wage per month to make it work otherwise I would be finding it hard.

Also the location I can afford are not exactly great. So give it a little bit of time and I'll have another year or two worth of money to put down.
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I ended up moving back in with my Mum at 39 after splitting from the Wife, A year or so after that she had a fall, injured her head and in the space of 3 days went from a 78 year old Grandma that drives her own car to a dementia sufferer who was unable to do the simplest of tasks. At that point I made the decision to look after her at home (with a care package that included 4 daily nurse visits) and continued to live with her up to February of last year when she passed away.

The reason I'm telling you that is because my Mum lived a 100 miles away from my wife, kids and me and sometimes it could be as long as a year between visits. So when we lost her I was glad that fate had given me that time with her, If you get on with them both and home life is hassle free don't be in a rush to move out, there's no real need.

If I was you I'd make the most of your time with them, As for girlfriends if you go out pubbing to meet them book a B & B if you pull.
I did that a few times before my mum took ill and liked doing it that way.
 
opethdisciple said:
Holding off for the moment. Saving up money so I can buy what I want, where I want and at the right time. Recently changed jobs so prepared to give it a year to prove stability. Also the longer I wait the more money I'll have.

But I fear as a single guy moving out will just mean me sitting in my own place all alone. Tumble weed....

At least at the moment I live with my parents which can be annoying at times... but how did your life change when you moved out?

I'm 35, and very aware that I need to start looking for a long term relationship.

I'm still young, but in 5 years, 40 is old!

---

The other thing is the parents are not getting any younger. Dad is now 64 and Mum is 53.... when I move out I'll be seeing less of them as well. Maybe I'll pop round once a week.
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Wow, 35 and still living with your parents, and not only that but using your fear of being alone to make some lame excuse about your parents not getting any younger and you'll see them less when you move out? Incredible.

Fact is that you have basically made life 1000x harder for yourself by not having had a normal and independent life up to now, and you are emotionally where most people are in their mid to late 20's.

Living alone does not mean sitting at home surrounded by tumbleweed unless you have serious antisocial tendencies. Get friends, get a social life, meet women. The only thing holding you back is yourself.
 
Richdog said:
Wow, 35 and still living with your parents, and not only that but using your fear of being alone to make some lame excuse about your parents not getting any younger and you'll see them less when you move out? Incredible.

Fact is that you have basically made life 1000x harder for yourself by not having had a normal and independent life up to now, and you are emotionally where most people are in their mid to late 20's.

Living alone does not mean sitting at home surrounded by tumbleweed unless you have serious antisocial tendencies. Get friends, get a social life, meet women. The only thing holding you back is yourself.
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Agree with this. OP if you don't give yourself a kick you will be in the same position this time next year. I left home at 23, it was hard at first, but it's all part of growing up. You can keep saving for ever, but I would bet house prices are going up much faster than your savings, especially in London.
 
I'd suggest you ignore any of the advice from people suggesting you've failed in some way because you're still at home at 35. It's common in most cultures to have closer ties to families, but in some way you're considered odd to be living at home in later age here. It's far more sensible to be living with you parents than spending a ton of money renting someone else's house for that tiny little bonus of having it to yourself.

People that don't live in London have no idea what it takes to buy a house here these days. You could easily go from being happy and comfortable to being in a horrible area, tied to 30 years of debt, alone and for what? a tiny piece of independence.

I wouldn't worry what anybody else thinks mate. I left home at 24, bought my own place but sold it and travel around now instead. When I'm in the UK I stay at my parents and I'm fine with that.

Be thankful you have a great relationship with your parents that lets you still be there, rather than someone that feels they need to get away from them as soon as they can.
 
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I moved out about 10 years younger than you are now. I was in the same position about not having much money and so on. Whilst we're an incredibly close family, I didn't feel "grown up" until I had moved out and was living my own life, and whilst I was paying my parents a fair contribution, and doing my fair share of housework and so on, I personally didn't feel comfortable living there as a young virile male either ;).

So London wasn't the best place to find a place to rent, but I managed it, in fact I moved in with some gym mates, which was great for a few years - then I saved up enough and started to earn enough to rent by myself.

Sure some people may suggest that it is paying someone else's mortgage, but you know what? I had a home. I had somewhere to call mine and yes it wasn't mine but in terms of life it was. I never looked back.

Moving out did me lots of good. Now, I'm no Casanova by any stretch, but neither am I a shy recluse, so it certainly helped in terms of relationships. I also felt more independence and freedom, and you learn a lot about being an adult having to fend for yourself.

I suggest you move out as soon as possible.
 
My main memory of it is that the washing, ironing, cooking and cleaning fairies stopped visiting. I had to do those jobs myself !

It is always going to be leap on the financials front. No matter how much you have saved there will always be the temptation to save another year to get something better. My impetus to stop procrastinating was the right property in the right area came up and I went for it.
 
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