How does your life change when you move out?
- Thread starter opethdisciple
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The mind boggles at the kind of people who don't think having your own independence in your mid-thirties is worth anything. They are essentially crippling their own social and emotional development, as is pretty damn clear in the case of the OP.
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The difference between now and 20 years ago though is the cost is far greater, so yes there will be negative elements related to his situation, but the cost to move out could be even more negative.
My advice would be jack the job in, take your money and go live somewhere else. If you're 35 and earn less than 50k a year in London go enjoy yourself somewhere else in Europe and come back when sanity returns.
That's why many do not buy houses in London, unless you are doing it for profit. There are better places in the UK and in the world which are more affordable and offer a better way of living. As its seems, you have found out yourself.
Got a flat at 25 and was fully moved out at 26 after finishing work on it. The day the last lot of stuff was moved in and my Mum and Dad went home I felt really down and like I wanted to cry.
Soon got over it though, it does open up your world and gives you a lot more self confidence.
Soon got over it though, it does open up your world and gives you a lot more self confidence.
What prices were 20 years ago is essentially irrelevant and should never be an excuse for not moving out of your parents house by your mid-thirties. You have a life to live, and so do they.
Other people seem to manage with moving out and building a life, it's part of being a grown adult.
Isn't OP the guy with a 60% deposit saved up (or was that someone else?).
I think living away from your parents is a hugely positive thing, that changes you as a person. In a good way. To that extent, your probably not fully 'grown-up' until you've experienced it.
I wonder if, having already hit 35 and not felt the need, and still not seemingly feeling the need, to move out - perhaps you've already left it too late. It might be that you're now 'wired' to need that particular comfort blanket. You may not actually be happy having fled the nest.
All in all, you should do what makes you happy. Not necessarily for the short term - what will make you happy a year from now, 5 years from now etc. If that's staying living with parents, then do it and own it. If it's picking up a mortgage on a place and enjoying solo living, then do it. Or maybe use your 60% deposit to buy outright in a new, cheaper city.
I think living away from your parents is a hugely positive thing, that changes you as a person. In a good way. To that extent, your probably not fully 'grown-up' until you've experienced it.
I wonder if, having already hit 35 and not felt the need, and still not seemingly feeling the need, to move out - perhaps you've already left it too late. It might be that you're now 'wired' to need that particular comfort blanket. You may not actually be happy having fled the nest.
All in all, you should do what makes you happy. Not necessarily for the short term - what will make you happy a year from now, 5 years from now etc. If that's staying living with parents, then do it and own it. If it's picking up a mortgage on a place and enjoying solo living, then do it. Or maybe use your 60% deposit to buy outright in a new, cheaper city.
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You seem to think his parents can't live their lives with their son at home? Why is this? Perhaps they like having him around.
What the prices are now is very relevant and should certainly be used as an excuse for not indebting yourself to decades of work for crap.
OP, get out of London, you're stagnating and staying there won't help. Go live in Amsterdam, Prague, Berlin, Madrid, Genoa, Warsaw, Krakow etc for a year. This would be of far more benefit than moving down the road to a 200k ex council flat.
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35 is way beyond when parents expect you to be standing on your own two feet, and any parent worth their salt would be worried if their offspring was not showing signs of independence at that comparatively late stage of development.
We are all, with very few exceptions, indebted to decades of 'work crap', it's called working to try and build a better future for yourself and it's pretty much unavoidable if you want financial independence.
For the OP's benefit, can you please list the benefits of moving to those countries you list, as well as give him some tips on finding a job there before he moves to them?
Your biggest life change is that you will realise you need to cook your own food and wash your own pants
The whole "looking for a long term relationship" goal is rubbish. That will find you.
Don't forget wipe his own backside and brush his own teeth! Man they were big steps foe me...
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This.
But also, that amazing realization of when you come back home something is exactly where you left it
This.
But also, that amazing realization of when you come back home something is exactly where you left it
Living with a house mate who likes to "tidy" this holy grail still eludes me
Very frustrating when it's peeing it down outside, I've got to be on my way to work in 10 minutes and it's my waterproof trousers she's hidden
