> When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take
> her someplace expensive....
>
> So, I took her to a gas station.....
>
> And then the fight started....
>
>
>
> *********
>
>
>
> My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire
> while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have
> sex?"
>
> "No," she answered.
>
> I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
>
> She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."
>
> So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
>
> And then the fight started....
>
>
>
> ********
>
>
>
> After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to
> apply for Social Security.
>
> The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's
> license to verify my age.
>
> I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet
> at home.
>
> I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have
> to go home and come back later The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
>
> So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
>
> She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough
> for me' And she processed my Social Security application.
>
> When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my
> experience at the Social Security office.
>
> She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might
> have gotten Disability, too'
>
> And then the fight started.....
>
>
>
> *******
>
>
>
> Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my
> lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.
>
> I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to
> back out into a torrential downpour.
>
> The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the
> garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be
> bad all day.
>
> I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped
> back into bed.
>
> I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different
> anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible. 'My
> loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is
> out fishing in that?'
>
> And that's how the fight started ...
>
>
>
> *******
>
>
>
> My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school
> reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her
> drink as she sat alone at A nearby table.
>
> My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
>
> 'Yes,' I sighed, 'she's my old girlfriend.
>
> I understand she took to drinking right after we split up
> those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
>
> 'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go
> on
>
> celebrating that long?'
>
> And then the fight started.....
>
>
>
> *******
>
>
>
> I rear-ended a car this morning.
>
> So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other
> driver got out of his car.
>
> You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and
> Little things just seem funny?
>
> Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... He was a DWARF!!!
>
> He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted,
> 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!'
>
> So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one
> are you?'
>
> And then the fight started.....
>
>
>
> ******
>
>
>
> I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some
>
> reason, took my order first.
>
> 'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'
>
> He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'
>
> 'Nah, she can order for herself.'
>
> And then the fight started.....
>
>
>
> *******
>
>
>
> A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
>
> She is not happy with what she sees and says to her
>
> husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I
> really
>
> need you to pay me a compliment.'
>
> The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's darn near perfect.'
>
> And then the fight started.....
>
__________________
> her someplace expensive....
>
> So, I took her to a gas station.....
>
> And then the fight started....
>
>
>
> *********
>
>
>
> My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire
> while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have
> sex?"
>
> "No," she answered.
>
> I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
>
> She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."
>
> So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
>
> And then the fight started....
>
>
>
> ********
>
>
>
> After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to
> apply for Social Security.
>
> The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's
> license to verify my age.
>
> I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet
> at home.
>
> I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have
> to go home and come back later The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
>
> So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
>
> She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough
> for me' And she processed my Social Security application.
>
> When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my
> experience at the Social Security office.
>
> She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might
> have gotten Disability, too'
>
> And then the fight started.....
>
>
>
> *******
>
>
>
> Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my
> lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.
>
> I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to
> back out into a torrential downpour.
>
> The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the
> garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be
> bad all day.
>
> I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped
> back into bed.
>
> I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different
> anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible. 'My
> loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is
> out fishing in that?'
>
> And that's how the fight started ...
>
>
>
> *******
>
>
>
> My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school
> reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her
> drink as she sat alone at A nearby table.
>
> My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
>
> 'Yes,' I sighed, 'she's my old girlfriend.
>
> I understand she took to drinking right after we split up
> those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
>
> 'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go
> on
>
> celebrating that long?'
>
> And then the fight started.....
>
>
>
> *******
>
>
>
> I rear-ended a car this morning.
>
> So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other
> driver got out of his car.
>
> You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and
> Little things just seem funny?
>
> Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... He was a DWARF!!!
>
> He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted,
> 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!'
>
> So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one
> are you?'
>
> And then the fight started.....
>
>
>
> ******
>
>
>
> I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some
>
> reason, took my order first.
>
> 'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'
>
> He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'
>
> 'Nah, she can order for herself.'
>
> And then the fight started.....
>
>
>
> *******
>
>
>
> A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
>
> She is not happy with what she sees and says to her
>
> husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I
> really
>
> need you to pay me a compliment.'
>
> The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's darn near perfect.'
>
> And then the fight started.....
>
__________________
![[FnG]magnolia](/styles/overclockers/avatars/9.png){kind=avatar}
