I know nothing about computers.

lotus7 · 25 Mar 2011 at 17:25

This is now my standard response, after years of experience. It is far better to just say to family, friends and neighbours, I know nothing. Their computers are like illegitimate children, take responsibility once, then you will spend the rest of your life supporting them. I wish I had a neighbour who was a central heating engineer, so I could go round and ask them to fit a new boiler for nothing.

*grin*

My neighbours ( bless them, they are pensioners) want me to go to their house and rewire their telephone wires cos their dog has chewed through it.

Again.

A very grumpy Lotus7

Alright, where is my soldering iron...

Castiel · 25 Mar 2011 at 17:27

Just say No then. Take control of your life and stop letting others control it for you.

eatcustard · 25 Mar 2011 at 17:27

kill dog

matt_fsr · 25 Mar 2011 at 17:27

Doormat much?

Paul11 · 25 Mar 2011 at 17:28

its easy, just say

i would normally charge X but for you ill do it for Y

give them a discount, but make them pay

problem solved

Ginger-Menace · 25 Mar 2011 at 17:28

im in the same situation, aswell as have 4 brothers 20years older than me, one of them rang me to say their new printer wasnt working i asked if he had plugged it on he said yes, when i got there it wasnt plugged!!! RAGE!!!! lol plugged in work like that didnt even need to install software lol

Cosimo · 25 Mar 2011 at 17:33

Do it for a couple of bottles of scotch.

Destination · 25 Mar 2011 at 17:33

eatcustard said:
kill dog

with soldering iron?

Hank_Marvin · 25 Mar 2011 at 17:34

Just charge them, if they want you to do it they'll pay and then all is well.

lookitsjonno · 25 Mar 2011 at 17:36

i use the "i've not touched windows for years" line

Spektor · 25 Mar 2011 at 17:36

I use the strategy of just taking a very long time over it, people would give me their PC and I wouldn't get around to fixing it for months -- They don't bother you again if they know it's going to be the best part of a year before they see their porn-mobile returned to them.

lotus7 · 25 Mar 2011 at 17:44

To be fair, when I go on holiday, they feed my fish for me, so it's swings and roundabouts.

I bet they are posting somewhere, "We feed this ***** fish and he gets grumpy about fixing our phone lines when our dog chews through it"

Sunbed · 25 Mar 2011 at 17:48

I also use the "know nothing about computers" line... saves a lot of hassle.

xJcBx · 25 Mar 2011 at 18:00

It's hard to say the
'I know nothing about computers' after somebody asks you
'so what are you studying at university?'

Usually drop 'Know what I would love around now.. A nice create of cider'..
Swings and roundabouts.

Hitman_Leon · 25 Mar 2011 at 18:06

I do it the first time for payment and tell them what not to do, the 2nd time they either pay more or I ridicule them for,

popup's
spyware
mallware

and all the rest, they just dont listen, why dont they listen, oh well my profit or much mirth to be had.

joemo13 · 25 Mar 2011 at 18:10

Charge and extortionate rate.