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I really really hate my mrs

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Next time you're watching BBC Breakfast and they go over to Carole for a weather update, and Carole's wearing a tight top and a smile, with Phil and Grant Mitchell barely restrained... You may decide to edit this thread title of yours prior to waking old Doris up with a nudge of morning glory.
 
Gd simply never fails to deliver.

Felt a bit sorry for myself last night for no bloody reason, but you've cheered me up :D

And yeah, I'm no mystic meg.......brilliant reply

Thanks as usual
 
The Funktopus said:
Looking at the hollowed out husk of what used to be my brother after having had kids, I can only assume he’d weep with joy if offered a week without the wife and kids.
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I would feign anguish at the thought of not going, but would enjoy the weeks freedom to do what I wanted, hell I would even take a few days of work to maximize the opportunity.
 
Well what I have decided to do, is stay at home. The minute they leave, throw a huge house party with strippers. Then just before they return home, pour caster sugar all over the floor and lie face down in it with a rolled £20 note tucked behind my ear. Hopefully the mother in law walks in as well. If so, I'll stick a bag over her head and do her over the TV whilst playing a recording of carol the weather girl from bbc breakfast.

Then when I've been chucked out, find one of these women who do all the housework, cooking and provide sex on tap.

Think I've covered pretty much everything.
 
Vargas said:
Quite right, why spend time with people you don’t have time for.

Sod em all.
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Yep, there is a huge back story to all this which I won't be posting on here. Great for the kids, they'll get two holidays this year.
but you are right, I don't have time for them anymore, not after certain events.
 
Center parcs massive expense even if you don't pay for the villa, full of stupid yuppies with kids. Perfect for most southerners
 
Slam62 said:
Center parcs massive expense even if you don't pay for the villa, full of stupid yuppies with kids. Perfect for most southerners
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I know what an 80s yuppie was.....but is todays version basically someone who thinks they are above everyone else? If so, I know a few people like that.

Nose stuck up in the air, shops at asdas but uses a sainsburys bag instead. Makes a point of telling everyone how they only drink douwe egberts coffee. Goes to Spain for a week and lives on ham and tomato sandwiches....that type?

Question....how many people in this thread have ever drunk coffee in the afternoon? If you have, sorry but you're in the dog house

How many of you have a beard? Dog house for you as well

Now.....how many have a beard AND drunk coffee in the afternoon. Brave, Brave, person whoever they are!
 
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TheOracle said:
I know what an 80s yuppie was.....but is todays version basically someone who thinks they are above everyone else? If so, I know a few people like that.

Nose stuck up in the air, shops at asdas but uses a sainsburys bag instead. Makes a point of telling everyone how they only drink douwe egberts coffee. Goes to Spain for a week and lives on ham and tomato sandwiches....that type?

Question....how many people in this thread have ever drunk coffee in the afternoon? If you have, sorry but you're in the dog house

How many of you have a beard? Dog house for you as well

Now.....how many have a beard AND drunk coffee in the afternoon. Brave, Brave, person whoever they are!
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exactly
 

Mornings are ok, but not afternoons........not my idea. I see no issue with drinking coffee whenever you want. Hey call me a rebel, I call myself normal.

Chips are a totally different matter. It seems they can't be consumed at ANY time of the day......as my poor old mum found out bless her.
 
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