Identify this spider...

MaxP779 · 3 Oct 2014 at 23:01

http://imgur.com/AJnElzM,kQWfsTn,zocE1JD,AdRI5bJ

Yeah I know they are pretty bad pictures... galaxy S2 + dark + I suck at pictures, whatever. Any ideas? False widow? The spider is about the size of a penny. It seems content covering two thirds of my window in web every few days rather than coming inside to try and kill me so that's good I suppose.

In before queen wasp.

Diddums · 3 Oct 2014 at 23:02

It's a get the **** out of my house before I eat you spider.

malfunkshun · 3 Oct 2014 at 23:03

What does it matter which species it is?

Captain · 3 Oct 2014 at 23:04

It's called a **** spider, which translate's too 'Don't fall asleep tonight or i'm going to rape you'.

Randomface74 · 3 Oct 2014 at 23:04

Standard issue garden spider

Nitefly · 3 Oct 2014 at 23:05

The only way to tell is to punch it.

MaxP779 · 3 Oct 2014 at 23:11

malfunkshun said:
What does it matter which species it is?

Important reasons to do with the survival of the human race and stuff!

billysielu said:
Standard issue garden spider

Oh good... the google image pics of garden spider look a lot like it! I was googling false widow and thinking it looks a tiny bit like that.

Its got some threatening looking markings for a standard issue spider. Wouldntmesswith/10

arc@css · 3 Oct 2014 at 23:15

Orb-weaver spider.

MaxP779 · 3 Oct 2014 at 23:16

Think its had a baby, theres a wee bawbag spider up the top left corner building a tiny web on its own. Bit pointless because its right behind mommys web which is gonna catch everything first.

Whitewater · 3 Oct 2014 at 23:16

It's a clean your house more often spider.

Mynight · 3 Oct 2014 at 23:17

arc@css said:
Orb-weaver spider.

That would have been my guess.

Nix · 3 Oct 2014 at 23:18

Nitefly said:
The only way to tell is to punch it.

Very scientific.

If it's red and mangled, it's a dead spider.

If it's fighting back, it's an angry demon spawn of Hell.

FoxEye · 3 Oct 2014 at 23:20

Yup, it's a spider.

Nitefly · 3 Oct 2014 at 23:23

Nix said:
Very scientific.

If it's red and mangled, it's a dead spider.

If it's fighting back, it's an angry demon spawn of Hell.

You'd think so, but it's actually the other way around.

malfunkshun · 3 Oct 2014 at 23:23

What is it with the hysteria surrounding false widows? sure a bite is going to hurt, but it is rather unlikely to kill you.
If you have a spider in the house you have two main choices, kill it or throw it out. Identifying it is only relevant if it is likely to be something deadly.

FoxEye · 3 Oct 2014 at 23:36

malfunkshun said:
What is it with the hysteria surrounding false widows? sure a bite is going to hurt, but it is rather unlikely to kill you.
If you have a spider in the house you have two main choices, kill it or throw it out. Identifying it is only relevant if it is likely to be something deadly.

What hysteria?

VirtualAdept · 3 Oct 2014 at 23:44

FoxEye said:
What hysteria?

Haven't you seen the articles in the likes of the daily fail, claiming a builder disturbed a nest and got bitten and his leg damn near fell off as a result?
Sensationalist nonsense, but there's a lot of hooing and harring about it.

malfunkshun · 3 Oct 2014 at 23:48

FoxEye said:
What hysteria?

Perhaps it is just personal experience, perhaps I have a number of friends that are spineless, brainless fools, perhaps I frequent far too many websites where when someone wants to identify a spider it is because they think it might be a false widow and that a bite might mean instant death because of misleading 'news' articles.

FoxEye · 3 Oct 2014 at 23:49

VirtualAdept said:
Haven't you seen the articles in the likes of the daily fail, claiming a builder disturbed a nest and got bitten and his leg damn near fell off as a result?
Sensationalist nonsense, but there's a lot of hooing and harring about it.

Wow, they sound really dangerous. So how can I protect myself from this menace?

Captain · 3 Oct 2014 at 23:52

Dress up like one.