If you earn more should you be more generous?

iraiguana · 7 Sep 2011 at 22:54

If you earn lots and feel generous to treat people the no problem. You should in no way feel obligated, but it just generally a nice thing to do, which you can more easily afford in your financially secure position.

Cosimo · 7 Sep 2011 at 23:08

No, equal contributions all round.

Mason- · 7 Sep 2011 at 23:17

The key word in the question is 'earn' if you earnt it then you have no obligation to share it.

[FnG]magnolia · 7 Sep 2011 at 23:23

Thank God stockhausen is banned at the moment or he'd be banging on about equal distribution of wealth and making everyone angry.

sammo62 · 7 Sep 2011 at 23:26

There should be no obligation, but nothing to say you can't offer occasionally if you earn more than your mates. I'd prefer it stayed a nice gesture rather than something expected.

wannabedamned · 7 Sep 2011 at 23:27

once i get drunk i generally treat us all to shots. It shouldnt be expected though, its just generous.

asim18 · 7 Sep 2011 at 23:31

wannabedamned said:
once i get drunk i generally treat us all to shots. It shouldnt be expected though, its just generous.

Drinking makes me do really silly things. Which is why I rarely do it, and only if I'm at a private house party.

I once treated my mate to a 40 min session at the local whore house. Met up a few days later and he was like "Thanks for the £80 dude, love you man" I was like QUE!? :confused:

mrk · 7 Sep 2011 at 23:33

That is all!

Robbo · 7 Sep 2011 at 23:35

No, you shouldn't be, nor should you be expected to be.

Having said that, I'm quite happy to pay for everything in some situations.

jon86 · 7 Sep 2011 at 23:51

I earn a reasonable salary and have made being generous part of my lifestyle. I enjoy being generous when I can and do it often. However, if for example, I was going out for a meal, I would expect everyone to have the money to pay for what they eat and drink, even if I ended up paying it for them.

benneh · 7 Sep 2011 at 23:58

Dandaman · 8 Sep 2011 at 00:43

There is nothing wrong wiht being generous at all

My dad is a gardener to trade and somehow got into doing a little job for some dude who owns his own plumbing company. The garden is huge and he was paying some guy £300 a month for maintenance but anyways my dad got up there and done a few odd jobs like adding some drainage and a little bit of turfing and just really making the place look good as the guy is too busy to do it himself.

After he had been and done a few jobs the guy was super pleased with the work effort and the graft that was put into it he handed my father £100 on top of his asking price and asked him if he'd take up the role of doing all the maintenance so he said yes

A few months goes by and my parents decide to get a break away and book a holiday, my dad speaking to that guy as normal when he was at his house and said he wouldn't be back to finish off whatever it was he was doing at that time until a fortnight later so he asks why and my dad explains hes goin on holiday and so on. Once the job was done he handed my dad the cash for the work and thinking nothing of it he didnt really check over the money cos you know its all gonna be there anyways. He gets home and realises again he had gave him an extra £60. He got straight on the phone and said he was overpaid and the guys words were 'no you weren't put it towards your spending money for the holiday'

In my eyes I have a huge amout of respect for people like that, most of the folk who have money are very miserable and unwiling to spend. Im in no way saying loaded people should give it all away but little gestures like that really go a long way

To me people who are like this dont come around too often!

Cupra · 8 Sep 2011 at 02:44

Robbo said:
No, you shouldn't be, nor should you be expected to be.

Having said that, I'm quite happy to pay for everything in some situations.

this tbh

i dont mind footing the bill for a meal and a few drinks with the lads but i wouldnt make a habbit of it incase it did become expected

Dr House · 8 Sep 2011 at 06:05

Back in the day when i was a student and making silly money I paid for dinners/ drinks for my friends quite often.

Now that my friends are all working and I am making crap money I don't.

No one expected me to pay for anything (well except a few girls but they are not really friends) and no one is bothered that I don't pay anymore.

Toxic Babyface · 8 Sep 2011 at 06:30

I don't earn a lot and never have, but I always make sure my Mum and Dad are ok as they are now pretty much retired. I used to go silly with my money a few years back, spending it on friends and helping them out. It's not going to happen anymore. I have still yet to see £250 from my so called best mate and £50 quid from another, and they seem to do a very good job avoiding me.
I do sometimes feel like paying them a visit and going Tony Soprano on their ***
I never will though as I am too nice, and they probably don't have it anyway.

Bear · 8 Sep 2011 at 06:48

No it should never be expected, that said I nearly alway pay for meals out for my friends as they are quite poorly paid.

Dr House · 8 Sep 2011 at 06:58

Toxic Babyface said:
I don't earn a lot and never have, but I always make sure my Mum and Dad are ok as they are now pretty much retired. I used to go silly with my money a few years back, spending it on friends and helping them out. It's not going to happen anymore. I have still yet to see £250 from my so called best mate and £50 quid from another, and they seem to do a very good job avoiding me.
I do sometimes feel like paying them a visit and going Tony Soprano on their ***
I never will though as I am too nice, and they probably don't have it anyway.

I have quite the opposite experience. My best friend from university who is like a second brother to me, his dad was really tight and did not give him enough money and it was not possible to work (pay is 2 pounds per hours here) so over the 6 years I paid for many little things here and there. Dinners, the odd flight home, drinks all sorts of things and I never thought anything more of it.

Apparently he has kept track of everything I paid for over 6 years of university and now that he is working he wasn't to pay me back the 7k that he thinks he owes me :eek:

Which would really help me out as I am not doing that well at the moment.

Raymond Lin · 8 Sep 2011 at 07:09

Expected? No.
Appreciated? Absolutely.

singist · 8 Sep 2011 at 07:14

When I had money (some years ago now), I would treat friends to meals and drinks etc but if I thought someone was taking the ****, it would be mentioned. I never normally 'kept score' but you do notice when people turn up on a regular basis and drink all eve' for free.

On the other side of the coin; When I was less well paid, I can remember going out for meals with a group who were all in the same situation and then being joined by someone being paid a daily rate that was several times my weekly wage; that individual would always be ordering loads of wine and extras during the meal but stand up at the end and say "we just split the bill between us then?"

You win some, you lose some but generally speaking, it is nice to be nice.

Toxic Babyface · 8 Sep 2011 at 07:17

Dr House said:
I have quite the opposite experience. My best friend from university who is like a second brother to me, his dad was really tight and did not give him enough money and it was not possible to work (pay is 2 pounds per hours here) so over the 6 years I paid for many little things here and there. Dinners, the odd flight home, drinks all sorts of things and I never thought anything more of it.

Apparently he has kept track of everything I paid for over 6 years of university and now that he is working he wasn't to pay me back the 7k that he thinks he owes me

You sound like a decent chap. Not many people would do such a thing. Your friend also sounds like a very decent fella for wanting to pay that money back. So many people I know would never even think of paying that back. If I was that person, I know I certainly would.