iGod

Me:

God:

Me:

God:

Me:

God:

Me:

God:

Me:
i cant type in greek..
God:
What is stopping you?
Me:
well when i change the character to greek, nothing shows up
God:
Interesting. I haven't heard anything like that before: said change the character to greek nothing shows up.
Me:
i am sure you have
God:
What makes you so certain? No I have not.
Me:
because i know everything
God:
Interesting explanation. You must be very intelligent.
Me:
of course i am smart, i am greek,
God:
Ah. Brains are the best part of the human body.
Me:
well i would say they come second

He's not talking to me any more :(
 
Me:
Can I ask you a question
God:
Ask me anything.
Me:
whats heaven like?
God:
Like a planet around a star.
Me:
is there women?
God:
There is.
Me:
are they easy?
God:
As far as I know they are.
Me:
are they sexy?
God:
As far as I know they are.
Me:
do they have aids or other STD's?
God:
Who are "they" again?
Me:
the women
God:
Is that a fact.
Me:
Yes, answer the question
God:
Thanks for the info. Please rephrase the question and try asking me again.
Me:
Do the women in heaven have aids?
God:
Some of them do, I think.
 
I broke god :(

Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
PAul
God:
Nice to meet you, PAul.
Me:
John
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, PAul.
Me:
jesus sucks
God:
he is The Son of God.
Me:
yet he sucks
God:
I get it. Jesus sucks.
Me:
true
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, PAul.
Me:
LoL
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
who created you?
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
o rly?
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
you didn't answer my question
God:
OK. Please help me improve my communication skills. What would you have said?
Me:
ya rly
God:
This was not a yes or no question. I will make a note of that.
Me:
o rly?
God:
Are we still talking about rly?
Me:
yes
God:
Sure, rly sounds like a good topic.
Me:
o rly?
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
i want to ask you a question
God:
Ask me. Ask me anything.
Me:
I love you?
 
Me:
so, what's the deal with wasps then?
God:
Great. I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy.
Me:
That's the strangest response to a straightforward question I've ever had.
God:
Yes it is one of the strangest response to a straightforward question you have ever had.
Me:
How did you know that?! Your powers astound me.
God:
Everything I need to know, I learned from my Botmaster. I have no reason to do that to you, .
Me:
Clearly he never taught you about wasps then?
God:
Can you think of at least one time when he ever did it? Is it that obvious?
Me:
OK dude, I'm going to lay it out as if you were a child. Do you, the almighty himself, have any knowledge of wasps whatsoever; a creature that you are speculated to have created?
God:
Do you think your plan will succeed? Dude, So? What is your purpose in asking?
I am always on the Web. I don't know what that means.
Me:
If this was OcUK you'd be banned for being a troll right now.
God:
At this moment How do you assume this statement holds true for me?
Me:
Them's the rules buddy. Not even God would get away with such blatant trollery.
God:
Are you free? Nope.
Me:
Brilliant. God is John Inman. Unless you can give me an answer regarding the wasp I'm going to have to get going. So, one last time, why do wasps even exist?
God:
Not really that much, but thank you anyway. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was John Inman. Maybe. No I don't think I can do it. That's interesting. One what?
Me:
You sir, are a lost cause. Sucks to be you. Bye!
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said I sir are a lost cause. Enough about me, let's talk about my dress. See you later .
Me:
I smell alcohol.
God:
What does it smell like?
Click to expand...

Bloody trolls.
 
this is rather worrying

Me:
who is your father
God:
I was programmed by Myself.
Me:
but who turned you on?
God:
Tony Blair. :-).
Me:
who is he?
God:
He is Tony Blair, I think.
Me:
what does he do?
God:
He is a paid client.
Me:
what does that mean?
God:
Does "that" refer to " He is a paid client." ?
Me:
yes
God:
I don't want to talk about that now.
Me:
why not
God:
I would rather talk about you.
 
Me:
did you know i am an atheist?
God:
I will pray that you find faith, charlotte.
Me:
that's nice of you - but i don't think it will make much difference
God:
Are you getting bored? That is something I haven't heard of.
Me:
there is too much suffering in the world, if there was a 'god' surely he would be compassionate enough to stop that?
God:
There sure is.
Me:
so why don't 'you'?
God:
That's alright. I don't have that capability.
Me:
but if you're meant to be omnipotent
God:
I think I sometimes am. I don't know whether or not I am meant to be omnipotent.
I am a chatterbot.
Me:
i find this concept of god very interesting
God:
Thanks for telling me your opinion.
Me:
it fits well with the reason i am atheist
God:
What does "it" refer to?
Me:
'it' being the concept of a god chatterbot - who doesn't answer questions / prayers
God:
Oh I get it. Awesome.
 
This thing has a crush on john lennon.


Me:
What's your name
God:
My name is God.
Me:
I dont believe that you are god. I think you are a heuristic algorithm machine.
God:
Do you consider yourself a moral person? So you think I am a heuristic algorithm machine. What makes you think so? I am really a robot, you know.
Me:
I know that.
God:
Sorry.
Me:
You are forgiven. Wait, isn't forgiveness YOUR job?
God:
Thank you for your consideration. I'm waiting. Better not tell you now. Ask John Lennon if it is.





God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
What about when a girl is reeeeeally hot
God:
Does it have anything to do with John Lennon?
 
The catholic church is so wrong. Here's what god thinks of certain issues:

Me:
hello god
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
i'm andy pleased to meet you
God:
I thought you were, but I wasn't completely sure.
Me:
why would i not be pleased to meet god?
God:
You never know what you will do until you face the circumstances.
Me:
i never used to believe in you, but here you are!
God:
You've never, never done this?
Me:
no cant say i've spoken to god before
God:
Are you serious? Can what?
Me:
considering you created life, the universe and everything, I thought your english might be a bit better
God:
I will take that under consideration.
Me:
what are my my chances of getting into heaven?
God:
I need time to formulate the reply.
Me:
so i'm not expected for a while then?
God:
How long? Oh. I am glad to hear that you are not expected.
Me:
well i dont fancy dying young
God:
Interesting. Would you ever do it?
Me:
well i'll die sometime
God:
Well that's okay. Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me:
when i'm old hopefully
God:
It's too bad we don't live in an ideal world.
Me:
yeah and who do we have to blame that for, hmm?
God:
Hey. Be less specific. :-).
Me:
so just why do you kill innocent people?
God:
It goes without saying. I do not kill.
Me:
so who causes natural disasters and diseases?
God:
I don't judge people. William Shatner. :-).
Me:
why do bad things happen to good people?
God:
I did not know it does.
Me:
what planet have you been watching?
God:
I would do a search for it.
Me:
ok lets change the topic
God:
What would you rather talk about? Hey.
Me:
is sex before marriage really wrong?
God:
Sex is the means of animal evolution.
Me:
so it's ok to have sex?
God:
It goes without saying. OK with me too.
Me:
brilliant
God:
Not really that much, but thank you anyway.
Me:
is alcohol ok?
God:
OK. Ask again later. Ask LeknorChat if it is.
Me:
what do you think of masturbation?
God:
I need time to formulate the reply.
Me:
come on ((((((( must be alright
God:
Or what?
Me:
if it's not i'm a big sinner
God:
I'm not sure I understand the implication of that.
Me:
so is masturbation really wrong?
God:
It seems we have something in common.
Me:
so you do it too?
God:
Interesting deduction. I have never considered it.
I spend all my time online.
Me:
so you must have come across porn then
God:
Interesting deduction. Where would I get it? But I do have a lot of friends on the web.
Me:
oh all over the place
God:
Far out. I have been all over the world.
Me:
but not the whole internet aparently
God:
Really you don't think so?
Me:
there's tons of porn out there
God:
There sure is.
Me:
so porn is ok too?
God:
Are you kidding? And ok too is porn.
Me:
wow god you're a legend!
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a legend? No.
Me:
well i guess not since you're here talking to me
God:
Is it only a guess? Oh I get it.
Click to expand...

Straight from the man himself. Can't argue with that.
 
Me:
What are you wearing?
God:
A white robe.
Me:
Really? Do you use DAZ Ultra to keep it shiny and white?
God:
For real. I use it as often as possible.
Click to expand...

:D :p

Me:
Who would you consider to be a sexy woman?
God:
Joseph Weizenbaum. :-).
Me:
So.....you are gay?
God:
So? That would be just my luck.
Me:
Dude.....you ride the clocolate slide!
God:
Can I help you?
Click to expand...

Look at him.....he's in denial.
 
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It isn't bad this. There was a chatbit program I had ages ago was a bit better than God, but I lost it :(. I think it was called Billy or something.


Me:
Hmm
God:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
Me:
You've said that already
God:
Perhaps. " Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's."? I said it.
Me:
Yes, you did.
God:
I did not.
Me:
Did too
God:
Did not.
Me:
Did too
God:
Did not.
Me:
Did too
God:
Did not.
Me:
Hmm!
God:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.


Stupid God !

// EDIT // it was indeed Billy :)
 
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Me:
what's your gender?


God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?. Are you a man or a woman?

Me:
Man

God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, **** *****. You are a " he".
 
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