I'm going to build a space station
- Thread starter iamdjdz
- Start date
Hmm, it will mean working in a close, but not intimate, environment with myself, the pilots and the pimps. Do you have what it takes? Please post a CV with relevant qualifications and why you wish to have this job. Also do you have previous experience in running a large scale space station, and if so was crew morale a priority in the past. Please submit this to the thread - anyone wishing for the position of 'number one' please follow suit, and a decision will be made before the launch.
Also - my space station needs a name.
Thanks for the advice
Maccy has already secured the security chief job, is there any others that you might like to apply for?
You sir are hired, would you like to run a nightclub style venue on board too?
I aim to have a similar number of female crew to male crew - I am recruiting elsewhere, however roles taken by OCUK members get precidence.
And yep, why not, you may not however star in all of your films, I want some action too
I will update the crew listing later, the 'inventory' will happen tomorrow - coinstruction is underway.
As an aside, we need a 'main' crew uniform to be worn by the systems sector managers and bridge crew, any suggestion?
I shall be wearing a pirate hat when on duty.
Fao TimBrad - I received your application and am happy that you are ready to serve, and to put it in the old and ambitious cliché - to boldly go where no one has gone before, along with the rest of our crew, be them chief of security, to 3-boobed whore pimps, to kebab shop owners, you all have a vital role in the running of the space station. Thank you for your applications and enthusiasm in this project.
As an aside, we need a 'main' crew uniform to be worn by the systems sector managers and bridge crew, any suggestion?
I shall be wearing a pirate hat when on duty.
Fao TimBrad - I received your application and am happy that you are ready to serve, and to put it in the old and ambitious cliché - to boldly go where no one has gone before, along with the rest of our crew, be them chief of security, to 3-boobed whore pimps, to kebab shop owners, you all have a vital role in the running of the space station. Thank you for your applications and enthusiasm in this project.
CREW LIST UPDATED
Hope you are all ready for your roles onboard. I aim to make this an enjoyable, exciting and entertaining exploration of extra-terrestrial existance. The space station is growing considerably, and there are still more positions available. We will charter people onboard after launch too. I aim to update the forums in the near future with a list of the majority of onboard functions, including what is located where onboard. Also your pick-up information will be updated shortly, along with information about what to bring onboard.
A name will be forthcoming.
In the later future and after launch I intend to do a station update post at several stages during the journey, and anyone who makes a substantial 'play' in the preceding period to the update will get mentioned, and commended.
Thanks for your time and continued patience in this project
Hope you are all ready for your roles onboard. I aim to make this an enjoyable, exciting and entertaining exploration of extra-terrestrial existance. The space station is growing considerably, and there are still more positions available. We will charter people onboard after launch too. I aim to update the forums in the near future with a list of the majority of onboard functions, including what is located where onboard. Also your pick-up information will be updated shortly, along with information about what to bring onboard.
A name will be forthcoming.
In the later future and after launch I intend to do a station update post at several stages during the journey, and anyone who makes a substantial 'play' in the preceding period to the update will get mentioned, and commended.
Thanks for your time and continued patience in this project
Pfft clearly our captain has gone awall we're going nowhere
I'm still here, am currently working on the final construction, and indeed on letting you all know. All crew lists will be updated before my 'update' post tonight.
OK, an update from your captain.
Crew lists have been further updated.
After a rather busy few days I am near to completion of the space station. It has been laborious manual labour but I am very happy to say that the main systems in pre-launch testing appear to be stable. The interior fittings are mostly done, and several decks will need post-launch work in order to be operable, but on the whole the station looks set to be completed a few days after launch. The launch itself should be fine.
Thanks to gord, the zombie attack survival expert and HR manager for his contribution to the project, all relevant sectors are clearly shown on his diagram.
All my questions in post 1 - oh how long ago that seems - have been rectified, including but not limited to obtaining Kerry Katona (see Le Petit Lapin for more details) and no other major questions have come up. I have installed a radio-wave teleportation device onboard in order that all types of broadcast signal from earth can be received around the station - including sports (see the sports bar) and all tv, radio and internet. The station has also, thanks to various members of crew, been fitted with state of the art defensive and offensive weapons systems and craft. This will allow any planets that do not take kindly to out planatery happiness booster deployment system to be considerably 'cleansed' from the universe, leading to a much happier life in the galaxies ahead.
We have top notch pilots and navigation officers on board using the TimTim space-nav system, and onboard control systems to safely guide the station around the universe.
Cat and toast powered anti-gravitational devices will provide some of the thrust along with rubber-ducks and nuclear reactors.
The station will launch at approximately 10.00am tomorrow morning, however not all crew will be present for the launch, due to weddings and work notices etc. This means that charter flights have been set up in order to collect you, these will come at your earliest convenience, but be ready as they may arrive at any stage to pick you up.
Holidays back to the planet earth will be permitted during your 7 week holiday breaks, and chartered craft back to earth will run regularly.
Expect the best of luxury in onboard accomodation, with all rooms being double bedded with the exception of wez130 and his missus, who will have a twin bed room in case of arguments. En-suites including shower facilities and bath facilities have been installed.
There are entire decks for entertainment, and various other venues located around the ship, these will be policed by Maccy who has installed laser-cameras so beware of causing too much public disturbance.
Crew positions are still open, and if colonisation of other planets occurs, more postions will open in those areas.
The cost to date of the space station has been £3.52 however this has been very kindly subsidised by a number of scousers, and the costs upon launch will increase to 2 crates of stella and your sister's number.
Thank you kindly for your time and I expect that you will all have a remarkable flight.
Please enquire as to any unanswered questions.
Yours sincerely,
Captain iamdjdz.
Crew lists have been further updated.
After a rather busy few days I am near to completion of the space station. It has been laborious manual labour but I am very happy to say that the main systems in pre-launch testing appear to be stable. The interior fittings are mostly done, and several decks will need post-launch work in order to be operable, but on the whole the station looks set to be completed a few days after launch. The launch itself should be fine.
Thanks to gord, the zombie attack survival expert and HR manager for his contribution to the project, all relevant sectors are clearly shown on his diagram.
All my questions in post 1 - oh how long ago that seems - have been rectified, including but not limited to obtaining Kerry Katona (see Le Petit Lapin for more details) and no other major questions have come up. I have installed a radio-wave teleportation device onboard in order that all types of broadcast signal from earth can be received around the station - including sports (see the sports bar) and all tv, radio and internet. The station has also, thanks to various members of crew, been fitted with state of the art defensive and offensive weapons systems and craft. This will allow any planets that do not take kindly to out planatery happiness booster deployment system to be considerably 'cleansed' from the universe, leading to a much happier life in the galaxies ahead.
We have top notch pilots and navigation officers on board using the TimTim space-nav system, and onboard control systems to safely guide the station around the universe.
Cat and toast powered anti-gravitational devices will provide some of the thrust along with rubber-ducks and nuclear reactors.
The station will launch at approximately 10.00am tomorrow morning, however not all crew will be present for the launch, due to weddings and work notices etc. This means that charter flights have been set up in order to collect you, these will come at your earliest convenience, but be ready as they may arrive at any stage to pick you up.
Holidays back to the planet earth will be permitted during your 7 week holiday breaks, and chartered craft back to earth will run regularly.
Expect the best of luxury in onboard accomodation, with all rooms being double bedded with the exception of wez130 and his missus, who will have a twin bed room in case of arguments. En-suites including shower facilities and bath facilities have been installed.
There are entire decks for entertainment, and various other venues located around the ship, these will be policed by Maccy who has installed laser-cameras so beware of causing too much public disturbance.
Crew positions are still open, and if colonisation of other planets occurs, more postions will open in those areas.
The cost to date of the space station has been £3.52 however this has been very kindly subsidised by a number of scousers, and the costs upon launch will increase to 2 crates of stella and your sister's number.
Thank you kindly for your time and I expect that you will all have a remarkable flight.
Please enquire as to any unanswered questions.
Yours sincerely,
Captain iamdjdz.
Yes.
This ship kinda sucks. It's full of men and no women. Wtf is the "porn department" going to do
Seeing as the staffing is 12,000 people, that does include a nearly 49% men, 51% woman ratio, remember the station is not entirely staffed by OCUK members.
Sweeper it in:
::4:1:sp
::4:1:sp
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Apologies for slow updating, I was having a problem convincing hyperspace authoritie that the space station was indeed wholely moral in galactic standard's eyes. I shall update the crew list in a few minutes.
Thank you for the continued smooth runnings of the station, however I would like to remind Tefal that Skyfall will have to be revived, as killing of crew members is strictly forbidden.
Gilly as chief of starfleet maneuvers, you will be in charge of all drop craft, resupply craft, protection craft and the fighter fleet. Any suggestions to the main station's control may be directed straight at myself or TimBrad.
Thank you all, and I hope you continue to have a pleasant voyage.
Thank you for the continued smooth runnings of the station, however I would like to remind Tefal that Skyfall will have to be revived, as killing of crew members is strictly forbidden.
Gilly as chief of starfleet maneuvers, you will be in charge of all drop craft, resupply craft, protection craft and the fighter fleet. Any suggestions to the main station's control may be directed straight at myself or TimBrad.
Thank you all, and I hope you continue to have a pleasant voyage.
Unfortunately AcidHell2 is our rail gun operator (or fortunately depending on how you rate him at the hands of such a gun) and as such this position is taken, please contact me asap suggesting your new position.
Our red shirts work extremely hard in the day to day running of the station's security, I hope that the specific deceased red shirt is named in the near future, as their anonymousity makes it hard to contact their earthly family, if indeed they have one. I am sad to hear of the death and will work hard to ensure that risk is limited on further voyages.
Please could the pilots make sure that they reset the ship controls to default settings after all periods of flight to further reduce risk of pilot error.
Regrettably the toilets on deck Q have been shut for a number of days and I would urge people to use the 'rapidlift' system to go to another deck to use the toilet, rather than doing your 'duty' in the corridors. As well as being messy and smelly this may also cause the 'goody eggs' to have a suitable nourishment and I'm sure the cleaning staff want to get about their business efficiently and properly, rather than having to call in security experts.
On another note, Brian Stuart has been appointed Head of Judicial Systems at this traumatic time, and I would like to wish him the best of luck in his new post.
Any other requests or news would be extremely appreciated.
Your Captain,
iamdjdz
Crew lists updated.
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Please will a member of staff rescue Capn' $qu!ff, as I fear he has not got long to go. I'm sure that he is still alive and will need to be brought to the medical bay immediately.
Anyone near the laundry shoots please go and investigate.
This is your captain speaking - I have been to-ing and fro-ing on reconnaissance missions to a distant system in the past few weeks. Shortly I shall begin to re-edit my captain's log and install new crew positions, for now I trust that the voyage is comfortable and highly eventful.
Your captain,
iamdjdz.
Your captain,
iamdjdz.
This is your captain speaking:
I promise I'll go through this thread and assign all roles accordingly, sometime this week coming, along with processing a report on how we have been doing.
I have been very busy thus far in my own private quarters with the female crew members, I do humbly apologise.
See you in the bar later.
Captain iamdjdz.
I promise I'll go through this thread and assign all roles accordingly, sometime this week coming, along with processing a report on how we have been doing.
I have been very busy thus far in my own private quarters with the female crew members, I do humbly apologise.
See you in the bar later.
Captain iamdjdz.