I'm not okay

I won't "hold my beer" your post, but just wanted to say that it's okay to not be okay.

I can also empathise with struggling to come to terms with a disability - I found it helped to focus more on the things I *can* do, than dwell on the things I couldn't.

I also reached out to someone on here when I was struggling recently - their kind words were really helpful.
 
Sorry to hear of your troubles man.

You've been delt a **** hand by the sounds of it and I think it's reasonable to be ****** off about it. I think venting is a good thing to do and here is as good a place as any.

Loneliness is one of the worst things a person can experience IMO. It's great that you have online socialising via chess.com or here or whatever, I bet it is a real life line, but my guess is you would get so much more out of face to face socialising with people who's job isn't to help you.

I would even consider joining a club that I don't really give a **** about if it suits my ability as the activity is just a means to an end.

No one knows how they will react after a life changing event. You are doing your best under the circumstances and you are absolutely entitled to feel however you feel.
 
RedMogg said:
I won't "hold my beer" your post, but just wanted to say that it's okay to not be okay.
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Most people aren't okay - and it takes something to actually admit to yourself that you are not, so fair play.

Since I started attending https://andysmanclub.co.uk/ it's helped me to realise that as long as you can still find the odd little positive in your week (no matter how small), then it's absolutely okay not to be okay.
 
Threepwood said:
Because I'm not okay
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Sorry to hear this. I would urge you to read through the listed side-effects of the medicines you take and check for depression, suicide, etc, and then discuss the matter with your doctor. And if you're on Finasteride then get yourself off it.

Two ideas: swimming and men's sheds. Swimming seems obvious exercise, even if all you can do is take the weight off your backside.

Men's Sheds said:
Connection, conversation and creation – that’s what joining a Men’s Shed is all about.

Men’s Sheds encourage people to come together to make, repair and repurpose, supporting projects in their local communities.

Improving wellbeing, reducing loneliness and combatting social isolation.
Click to expand...
 
koolpc said:
Stay strong buddy...you aint alone. Lots of us have issues. Some more than others. Mental and physical....i been suffering for over 25 years.
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thanks, sorry to hear that you have had a poor time of it for so long too
I like to sing along to this, dunno if that might help you too
big love
 
Sorry to hear of your woes, there's a lot going about atm.

Based on your username and the above post, I thought I'd leave this here:

Chin up.
 
@Threepwood - I forgot to say: DON'T ignore your pressure sore. Your GP surgery should have a nurse clinician you can access quickly if it's not resolving, who can monitor the site and refer you for better intervention.

I had years of issues (pilonidal abscesses, pressure ulcers) from a poorly prescribed wheelchair cushion. I'd get fobbed off with strong antibiotics, which would help with the infection for a very short period (whilst making me feel even more rough), then it would come back even worse, needing surgical incision, drainage & packing (which would take weeks of daily dressing changes) but the underlying issue wasn't addressed until I finally pushed for a colorectal referral.

Luckily my surgeon was awesome and she put me on the list for a Bascom's procedure - where they literally cut out all of the affected tissue (basically removed my entire arse crack), then stitch you up the side of one cheek.

It was a drastic, serious move, with an 18 month recovery time, but it ended the decade long cycle of infection/abscess-antibiotics-bigger abscess-stronger antibiotics-really bad abscess-surgery + antibiotics + packing-new abscess...

Pressure sores are similar - they can quickly turn very nasty and the local infection can easily become sepsis, which can be lethal.
 
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Sorry to hear this @Threepwood, and reaching out is the first step to making a change to your situation and your feelings. Suffering alone with something like this will only make it worse, for anyone.

Don't be afraid to stop into the mental health thread for a vent or to give us an update from time to time. It's a supportive place and often it's just a way to avoid isolation. As others have said, you are not alone :)

**The Mental Health Thread**

Greetings All! Welcome to the Mental Health Thread :) I Think we need a dedicated thread to mental health where we can seek advice, support and just talk about whatever's on our minds regarding mental health. A lot of people suffer in silence and this forum has a lovely community which should...
forums.overclockers.co.uk forums.overclockers.co.uk

As you also seem to like slightly off-beat stuff (Monkey Island ftw!), here is a Tom Waits song about opening up to people instead of isolating yourself and struggling:


This song will often tip me over when I'm having a hard time and I'll have a bit of a cry :D We are not meant to be alone.
 
I just ordered an orthopedic cushion for myself as i have really bad pain sitting. Its been going on for many many years. Docs have been carp....

Recently i realised i have Ischial bursitis. This is through my own research. The 'sit bones' are where a LOT of my sitting pain comes from.....it is awful as you can imagine we sit for many things....

I am hoping the cushion i have ordered will help....

Get a good orthopedic cushion Threepwood....take care buddy

​

 
Good grief, you shouldn't be writing poems like that!!
Depression is about hope. Or, more precisely, it's about a lack of hope. When we are faced with something we can't change, then there is no hope, and we can collapse in to depression. The only way out is to give ourselves hope and that may need a change in direction. The last thing you should do is think about what you've lost and try to get it back. My brother used to do that. He couldn't bang a nail in, because the stroke took out his right side, so he lacked any sort of coordination. But the pillock kept doing DIY, and banging nails in, even though they fell out five minutes later. You could always tell what he'd been up to by all the bent nails and elastoplasts all over the floor. I used to tell him to take up something that needed less coordination but heve never listened. Pillock. :cry:
 
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