Introverts

shifty_uk

shifty_uk

shifty_uk

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GF was a bit emotional again because apparently I don't tell her much. I find it relatively difficult to open up when prompted however the main issue lies with me not saying anything to begin with.

It's not conscious, I skip over details, I can wriggle my way out of anything and I'll always get away with not giving information about myself.

People seem to recognise it more in my adult life(colleagues, relatives and so forth) and I suppose they would, it's not something you'd commonly expect from a 21 year old man.

Or, is it? Am I weird or is this a general occurrence amongst the more introverted? It's something I'm concerned about but it's literally been a life long hindrance. My Mum for example barely knows anything about me which is saddening. I was always silent as a nipper.
 
i was a bit like that at 21, though more so with my parents than my girlfriend at the time. part of the bitterness i felt towards her after we broke up was the fact that i had told her stuff i had told no one else, really dropped my guard and then when it ended i felt betrayed, i put the guard back up afterwards and still do to this day but not as bad as i used to. it's just the way i am, i will talk about some things but i like to keep a lot of stuff to myself but am not afraid to ask for help and advice when i need it but some things i like to keep to myself.
 
I'm the same, I tend to not divulge much about myself

I'm not concerned about it though as I do tell people major things, and do tell other things if they ask for more (if it is any of their beeswax that is).
I don't see it as anything major though, if I want to keep things to my self then that is my right after all ... I'll ask for advice if that's what I need though
 
Pretty same here too, keep my problems to myself and never go heavily into details. Hell even my best friends think I'm a walking enigma.
 
Moses99p said:
Err, I guess I'm layered. Acquaintances can know the normal level of disclosure, friends can know a bit more, then the people I'm closest to can know everything. I'm pretty open about stuff, until it gets to ~awkward~ topics... I mean talking about the reasons for the bad relationships I have with my mother and father is hardly the cheeriest of topics, etc, so I rarely discuss that kinda thing!

I don't mind telling most people about my hopes/dreams/fears/past/etc, but deeply personal things and relationship-y things are reserved for those closest to me.

Garbled post is garbled. I'll probably post something better tomorrow!
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This, but without the family stuff, we all get on well :).

I guess the person I'm most open with is my girlfriend though, theres nothing I wont tell her :)
 
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If you people were 16 you would be listening to breaking benjamin and cutting yourselves. Nobody tells anybody anything, get a grip, you aren't special.
 
Spektor said:
If you people were 16 you would be listening to breaking benjamin and cutting yourselves. Nobody tells anybody anything, get a grip, you aren't special.
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Really?!:p


I can never understand why, for example, people talk about their sex lives/other halves almost like a piece of meat. My friends always get a little perplexed when I say "no comment" to anything about my sex life...
 
Erm, strong reaction indeed. I posted as a cause for concern and a genuine interest in other peoples thoughts on the matter.

Not as a "Guys, I'm deep" - it's absolutely nothing to be proud of.
 
shifty_uk said:
Erm, strong reaction indeed. I posted as a cause for concern and a genuine interest in other peoples thoughts on the matter.

Not as a "Guys, I'm deep" - it's absolutely nothing to be proud of.
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Ignore him, he's obviously talking crap anyway.

I'm slightly introverted like you shifty, but again it does depend on the people I'm with. I can count on one hand (and oddly family aren't in there) the number of people I confide in totally and honestly.

I think the introversion thing comes from two elements: one is your natural disposition and tendancies to deal with emotional issues and the second is to do with being protective of your self. Once bitten, twice shy and all that.
 
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Moses99p said:
I don't think it's good to be completely closed... bottling everything up isn't great. Having someone you can confide in if you want to is great, but it could/does require a leap of faith (trusting them with info you don't feel comfortable talking about sometimes)... but that'll lead to a stronger/deeper relationship 'cause the mutual disclosure will bond, or something.

/pseudo-psychological guesswork.
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Think that sounds about right. The big problem for me is trust. I just don't have enough trust in other people to spill everything. Even GF's, while I've trusted them around other people I wouldn't necessarily open up because of trust issues...

same thing happens all over the place though. I find it difficult to trust people to do something right, which is why I think I'd be a rubbish manager...:p
 
I'm very outgoing, but there is stuff in my life I have shared with no one. A lot actually, but it's mainly stuff that concerns only me anyway. Everyone has an inner Alice, its just trying to keep that ***** locked up.
 
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