I didn't read it in the same way as the OP, but did see it in a different, rather amusing light...
Does that mean I can control my parents?
iPod touch features the same revolutionary interface as iPhone. The multi-touch interface lets you control everything using only your fingers.
Does that mean I can control my parents?

It does not have bluetooth so the only way to connect to the net is via wifi.... you cannot install any 3rd party apps at all.... the list goes on.