Poll: Is it ever okay to 'cheat'?

[Nix]

Mods, can we have a poll please? Sans pancake.

Inspired in part from the other thread and a debate we've had a couple of times, I thought it would be interesting to branch off and have it as a discussion in its own right.

Scenario:

You're single. She's married. You do not know how strong the marriage is or any other variable regarding it, nor who the husband is. She's propositioned you. Is it okay to cheat?

1. It's absolutely fine to sleep with her. The 'morality' has absolutely nothing to do with me.

2. I accept what I'm doing is a little wrong, but it's not really my problem so it's okay to sleep with her.

3. I'll do anything that moves. Situation doesn't come into it.

4. I'm not totally to blame, but I wouldn't sleep with her as I feel I'm helping to facilitate an immoral act.

5. I wouldn't ever sleep with her. I'd be just as guilty as she is.

* * *

Another point for discussion: does your position change regarding the seriousness of the relationship?

e.g.

Is it okay to 'cheat' if it's a fresh relationship? Does it make a difference if it's long-term, they're married or if children are involved?

 

[Van Hellseek]

No.

/thread.

Wait... It's ok for you, yes. Not for her. She's the one in a relationship, not you.

 

[Pighardia]

1. It's absolutely fine to sleep with her. The 'morality' has absolutely nothing to do with me.

Is it okay to 'cheat' if it's a fresh relationship? Does it make a difference if it's long-term, they're married or if children are involved?

The only other variable from your point of view for me to consider would be whether you intend to break up the marriage/relationship, and make that clear.

 

[gufufawug]

Even though im not in the relationship she is I would never cheat with someone. Its not something i would like to happen to me so theres no way id do it to someone else. Doesnt matter if the relationship is friends with benefits or married with kids id stay well away.
edit: spelling

 

[Rameses]

If its on offer hit it, but understand that due to the circumstances she probably isn't going to be relationship material.

 

[Tom0]

4.

Another point for discussion: does your position change regarding the seriousness of the relationship?

No. She's in a relationship, so that's that.

 

[Kemik]

One view could be "no, caus I wouldn't want to be the guy and I'd hope other guys would do the same for me". The other view is "she's going to cheat on him with someone, why not let it be me? They obviously have issues or this wouldn't be happening".

I had this happen to me. I'd moved in with the girl and three weeks in to living together she slept with her ex. She then continued to do this a few times behind my back (I was working in Edinburgh now and then) until she broke up with me and made me feel like it was all my fault. It wasn't until 6 months later and lots of pain that I found out she cheated on me.

My opinion? She's a **** and he's a **** caus he knew we'd only just moved in together and decided it was perfectly fine to contribute to screwing that up. Yes, everyone says she would have done it at some point but I'd rather have given it a good shot rather than being screwed over 3 weeks after signing a 12 month flat contract 250 miles from home. 2nd yes, I'm better without her and he almost done me a favour. Shame he didn't do it a month earlier and to his defence, she was the one doing the chasing. /rant

 

[Greenlizard0]

Years ago when morals really meant something I'd have said a bit of 4 and 5.

Now as I've got a bit older the lines get a bit blurry. Sorry, but honestly speaking I'd be between 1 and 2. Yes it takes two to tango - but she's the one who's cheating and it's still a case where the decision making of the act is with the woman.

 

[Nix]

Okay, to jump on that GL - what's changed?

 

[muon]

4/5

I hope my morals never change. I am not religious but firmly believe in doing unto others what you'd want other do unto you.

 

[Biohazard]

I used to cheat heavily at monopoly.

Deviously too. Sometimes not so much.

 

[deusexlumina]

Only if you pull a houdini.

 

[Theophany]

If her fella's not keeping her happy, I'll step up to the plate. Does that make me a bad guy? Maybe. Morality is deeply personal and I'd have no difficulty sleeping after doing it. Easy to say it hypothetically, I know, but then again I've done it in practice. No regrets from me.

That being said, I apply the same philosophy to myself. If my girl cheated on me, I'd accept the possibility that I could take some of the blame for it in some way, provided I had done something wrong. I'd be ****ed about it though, no doubt.

 

[Amp34]

4.



No. She's in a relationship, so that's that.

This pretty much, however if I was really in love with that person and we decided that maybe it was worth persuing then maybe. On the other hand as soon as I know they are taken then the flirting stop...

I wouldn't like it if someone did it to me so why do it to someone else?

I used to cheat heavily at monopoly.

Deviously too. Sometimes not so much.

The ond "banker dipping his hands in the till" routine?

 

[elmuzzy66.]

With knowledge of the marriage yes, if you don't know no. But then what is morral? Some would say that you are doing something wrong by having sex ouside of wedlock to begin with.

 

[Deific]

1. It's absolutely fine to sleep with her. The 'morality' has absolutely nothing to do with me.

and

2. I accept what I'm doing is a little wrong, but it's not really my problem so it's okay to sleep with her.

It's not fair on the guy but at the same time it's not my burden. I'm not the one cheating and it's not my responsibility to make sure she doesn't and fix her marriage which already has obvious problems if she's cheating.

 

[Tom0]

To the people saying "If it's on offer then hit it, she's the one in the relationship.." You might be, if not probably will be the one that she gets caught or found out to of fooled around with.

Why be that guy? :\

Wether you're the leverage to get out or just release, still being used. To me thats a weaker person than someone that walks away and tells the tramp to get some guts and sort her life out herself.

 

[arknor]

if i didnt key your car someone else would.
if i dont rob your house someone else will.
if i dont steal your car someone else will.
if i dont rob your house someone else will.
if i dont get your daughter pregnant and do a runner someone else will.

you can use this "someone else will" for just about whatever you like

you might not be the one cheating your still "aiding and abetting" it might not be a crime but you still involved in the act and knowingly helping to crush someone else for your moment of joy.
i reckon the sort of person with this mindset is the sort that would cheat and i wouldnt want you anywhere near my daughter if i had one.

 

[elmuzzy66.]

arknor did someone cheat on you or your parents divorced beacuse of cheating? You are displaying unhealthy phobia towards the subject

 

[Van Hellseek]

arknor did someone cheat on you or your parents divorced beacuse of cheating? You are displaying unhealthy phobia towards the subject

Paranoia because he's in, or has been in (or expects to be in) an insecure relationship most likely.