is there a stupid quotes thread ? if not im starting one

Here are some genuine stupid quotes...

BRITAIN DOESN'T NEED TELEPHONES

Made in 1878 by Sir William Preece, chief engineer at the Post Office.

'The Americans have need of the telephone, but we do not. We have plenty of messenger boys,' he said.


X-RAYS ARE A HOAX

Lord Kevlin, President of the Royal Society was clearly unconvinced when he made his comments in 1883.
Bill gates


THERE WILL NEVER BE A BIGGER PLANE (AND IT ONLY HELD TEN PEOPLE)

The maiden flight of the Boeing 247 took place in 1933.

Speaking after the happy event, an engineer reportedly said: 'There will never be a bigger plane built.'

The world's biggest plane is currently the Airbus A380 can carry up to 853 people.


TV WON'T LAST

Darryl Zanuck, 20th Century Fox movie mogul was responsible for this clanger back in 1946.

He claimed the technology had a short shelf life because people will 'soon get tired of staring at a plywood box every night.'


HOMES WILL BE CLEANED WITH NUCLEAR HOOVERS

Back in the 1950s, Alex Lewyt, president of the Lewyt Corp vacuum company, claimed it was only a matter of time before nuclear power was used in the home.

'Nuclear-powered vacuum cleaners will probably be a reality within ten years,' he said.


LETTERS WILL BE DELIVERED BY ROCKET

'We stand on the threshold of rocket mail,' said U.S. postmaster general Arthur Summerfield in 1959.


COMPUTERS AREN'T FOR HOME USE

In 1977, Ken Olsen, the president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp (DEC) claimed there was no reason for anyone to want a personal computer.


YOU'LL ONLY EVER NEED 640KB OF MEMORY

Bill Gates's first entry into the chart with his 1981 claim that no personal computer would ever need huge amounts of capacity.

He has since denied making the statement,,,


WE'LL KILL SPAM IN TWO YEARS

... though there's no doubt he said this one.

Speaking at the 2004 World Economic Forum he claimed a solution was in sight.


THE iPOD WILL BE KAPUT BY NEXT CHRISTMAS

And rounding off the technology hall of shame is Sir Alan Sugar.

He made his claim in 2005, telling an interviewer: 'Next Christmas the iPod will be dead, finished, gone, kaput.'
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President Bush said:
"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."

"They misunderestimated me."

"There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again."

"You work three jobs? … Uniquely American, isn't it? I mean, that is fantastic that you're doing that."

"I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family."

"I am here to make an announcement that this Thursday, ticket counters and airplanes will fly out of Ronald Reagan Airport."

"You know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror."

"The same folks that are bombing innocent people in Iraq were the ones who attacked us in America on September the 11th."

"I'm the commander -- see, I don't need to explain -- I do not need to explain why I say things. That's the interesting thing about being president."

"Oh, no, we're not going to have any casualties." --discussing the Iraq war.

"I would say the best moment of all was when I caught a 7.5 pound largemouth bass in my lake." --on his best moment in office.

"I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe -- I believe what I believe is right."

"I wish you'd have given me this written question ahead of time so I could plan for it...I'm sure something will pop into my head here in the midst of this press conference, with all the pressure of trying to come up with answer, but it hadn't yet...I don't want to sound like I have made no mistakes. I'm confident I have. I just haven't -- you just put me under the spot here, and maybe I'm not as quick on my feet as I should be in coming up with one."

"Goodbye from the world's biggest polluter." --in parting words to world leaders at his final G-8 Summit, punching the air and grinning widely as those present looked on in shock.
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Heck, I'll post a link to the website!

Just wanted to contribute to this awesome thread! :p
 
To be fair you could write a whole book on George W Bush:

George W Bush said:
We must stop the terror, I call upon all nations to do everything they can to stop these terrorist killers, thank you. Now watch this drive.
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Also, I feel I have to even though I can't remember who it was:

Is that a Bugatti Veyron?
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(Sam83 I think?)
 
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Steve Kean....

“We are not going to be able to invent 10 games where we can go on an unbeaten run because there are not enough games left.”


On Ryan Nelsen: “He's in a bad way. I've just been to see him. He's in traction. We need experienced players in the team and I can't wait to get him back, but I doubt he'll be let out before the end of the season."

Four days later Nelsen made his debut for Spurs.




Steve on Junior Hoilett, December 2010: “He's desperate to sign, we're making progress”.

Needless to say, Hoilett will walk away for nothing in the coming weeks.




“We feel that Myles Anderson is a player with great potential as a late developer. He could become something of a Chris Smalling, who came through late in football and Myles has done the same.”

Myles Anderson, son of Kean's agent Jerome, has never played for Blackburn.


“Bruno - or Denis after Denis Irwin, the boys call him, because he never gives the ball away - will fill in that position and that is great for us."

Bruno Ribeiro - or Denis - has never played for Rovers. None of us even knows what he looks like!


“David’s always been put on a par with a young Rooney and he can certainly score all types of goals… It’s not just nice tap-ins, he can create a goal for himself, score from outside the box, chip them in, pass them in, smash them in."

David Goodwillie has scored two league goals this season.


“There is no way Chris Samba is leaving this football club. I've spoken to the owners and that's the end of the matter.”

Samba left two weeks later.


On the January 2012 transfer window: “We are going to do our business early and get experienced players."

The unknown Antony Modeste arrived on January 19th. The rest of the business was done on deadline day and the ‘experienced’ players were uncapped Bradley Orr and the obscure Marcus Olsson.




“The most important thing is 99% of the fans didn't demonstrate”.

Maths isn't Kean's strong point.




“I live in the area but I don’t go out in Blackburn because I can’t. You just never know who you might run into.”

Steve has been attacked and threatened on the mean streets of Blackburn zero times.


“Our break in Dubai went really well. From a medical point of view I have been told vitamin D levels were very high in the lads when they come back due to the sunshine.”

So basically they just topped up their tans?




November 22nd: “Yes, there have been discussions about a new contract, but I have told the owners that this is an inappropriate time to conclude any new contract discussions. Instead, the real issue is for me and everyone else to concentrate on the games.”


Kean signed a new contract on November 25th.




“The owners are very knowledgeable."

The stories about them not realising Rovers could get relegated are untrue, then?


“I believe I was good enough to play for Celtic.”

Steve Kean played for Alloa, Academia Coimbra, Bath City and Newbury Town.


“We've had monumental results this season, including back-to-back clean sheets".

No comment needed


“All the pundits are wrong and I'm right.”
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Always liked this one from someone on here ....

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“He is accelerating all the time. The last lap was run in 64 seconds and the one before that in 62” - David Coleman

"I was saying the other day, how often the most vulnerable area for goalies is between their legs" - Andy Gray

"With half the race gone, there is half the race still to go" - Murray Walker
 
i meant to say include stupid sayings also but i ooked it up so here is my fav of the week


if you see a turtle sitting on a fence post......... you know hes had some help..
 
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