Is this considered shallow or not?

I agree with you but sometimes you have to compromise.

My misses doesn't drive, but works full time pays her way and certainly doesn't doss about. Ok when I was dating I wanted someone who could drive but reality is its not a big issue and keeps the running costs down.
 
I think it's an important thing as well. (He says as the Mrs is at home doing jack but going shopping later...!) haha you want someone with some drive and ambition though!
 
Nothing wrong with not wanting to be in a relationship with someone completely dependent on you.

Not owning a car? Kinda shallow, depends on the situation.
Not owning a nice car? Shallow
 
Yes it does make you shallow, you focus on the materialistic side too much. You should be looking to find someone who can actually understand you and be reasonable, which is the hardest in the times we living.
 
Clov!s said:
Having a discussion at work about the type's of people we would date.

I said i wouldn't go for a girl who didn't work full time and have her own things, like car, money etc as i wouldn't want her depending on me.

Does that make me shallow?
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No, I am of the same sentiment! It's not shallow, you just want to be with someone who is somewhat established themselves and won't fallback on you for resources such as a roof over their head or money.
 
so let's say there was a girl who worked part time because there was no full time jobs in her area. She's very intelligent, hard working, kind......would you dismiss her?
 
Fair enough if you don't want someone leeching off you but a girl could still be independent without a car or loads of cash.
 
Why wouldn't you want her to depend on you? Unless I'm missing your notion of depending on entirely. A more elaborate description of "depending on" would help. E.g. if the partner requires you to fund her weekly clothes shopping spree, and nights out on the town whilst she doesn't attempt to get a job or better herself, then fair enough.

If, however, you were to not date someone who didn't drive (but worked full time) and didn't have a lot of disposable income (but paid her way) then I think you'd be a fool to dismiss this person entirely based on that criteria.

My idea of a relationship is that it should be about having someone there who you can depend on in all regards, financially being one of them. In hope, that if the tables turned, you’d be able to depend on them.

To answer your inital question, then no. I do not believe it makes you shallow whatsoever. It does mean you could miss out on potentially many great relationships, though.
 
I wouldn't dismiss a girl completely based on what she had in life or where her life is going, but I think a girl who has drive, get own ambitions and who is self sufficient would suit me better.

I'd date an unbelievably hot girl if she had nothing more than her looks, but I couldn't settle down knowing that she would be completely dependant on me throughout our relationship.
 
Clov!s said:
I wouldn't dismiss a girl completely based on what she had in life or where her life is going, but I think a girl who has drive, get own ambitions and who is self sufficient would suit me better.

I'd date an unbelievably hot girl if she had nothing more than her looks, but I couldn't settle down knowing that she would be completely dependant on me throughout our relationship.
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When does this happen though, does every girl you date expect you to pay for eveything?
 
Clov!s said:
Having a discussion at work about the type's of people we would date.

I said i wouldn't go for a girl who didn't work full time and have her own things, like car, money etc as i wouldn't want her depending on me.

Does that make me shallow?
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Nope I would be the same, I'm not paying some girls way in life no chance.
 
The fact that you have put their material worth as one of the most important attributes of a person would suggest it is a bit shallow.
 
No, it's not shallow. It's just a preference. However, if you dismiss someone based on that preference, even though you liked them, that would be shallow (IMO).

Having a woman that can take care of herself financially isn't a bad thing at all. But as they say, love is blind and the woman (or person) you fall in love with.. well it might just uppercut you.

My wife is the most hard working woman I know, but she isn't wealthy, doesn't come from a rich background and has to work hard for everything. She is the most loyal and trustworthy woman I know and those are more important to me than her being "financially viable".

EDIT: just to say.. it's understandable if you have been burned in the past from women that relied on you.
 
No at a base level it just makes you more narrow minded and lead by fear.

Your head controls your heart to some degree...

This is quite normal however, your looking for a suitable mating partner who will keep your offsping alive.
 
Ha, oddly, I'm dating, or in fact was dating a uni student in her final year and I couldn't help but notice the totally relaxed view and most of the time, childish input into life. I'm 25, she is 22. 3 years ago I was earning a lot of money in a really good job with a house that I rent with a partner (which has now gone).

I find it hard to think she will take much seriously after uni so on that basis I have backed off a bit and we are keeping to friends (yet to tell her that...).

So no, it's not shallow. I would prefer to meet someone who has plans, going somewhere, independent, strong and knows what they want in life. Not someone who has no clue how the world works and thinks money magically appears from nowehere.
 
I tried dating people with no drive or prospects and at the end of the day all it does is **** me off. As much as I would gladly provide for my own family when I have one, I don't think I should be supporting a "partner" because they are lazy.
 
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