Yea, you're right, she is the smoking girlfriend.
This is extremely hard. But I'm putting the effort in because I do love her. When people say that it isnt worth it and we should just split up my heart sinks. I genuinely believe we do love each other, but to what extent, I'm not sure. This is the first long term relationship I've been in and I seem to be getting tested a lot. She is most definately a high maintenance girl.
However, I'm about to spend christmas with her and her family and I'm very much looking foward to that and seeing her. As well as that, one of my main goals right now is to get over there next year to base myself. Whether she'll be in the picture by then, I don't know. I hope so though. We talk about living together. She wants me to move in with her.
Everything tells me that she is smitten with me. I'd go as far to say she is fairly clingy, but within the relationship, yes, I'm getting tested fairly hard. Case in point, this meeting with her ex.
If I'm brutally honest, it's pointless, she could easily make it not happen, but I think she's a girl, so she loves drama and she probably wants to confront her ex and get things off of her chest. I'm just really worried she'll get upset and it'll be at my expense, ego and pride. If I trust her and let her go, I know what'll happen, they'll either be at each others necks all night, or they'll ignore each other all night or he'll be nice and old feelings for him might flare up. These are all negative for me. So obviously I don't want her to go, but it's whether I should try and make her not do it, or just leave her be. God forbid, if she ever cheated on me with him (I very much doubt this would happen) then how would I find out anyways?
I have to ask myself, am I whipped? If so, what can I do? I've got a feeling that if we stay together, I'll be put through these little tests for a long time to come yet. But, I do love her.
