Joke time

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Soldato
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An Eskimo is traveling down a highway and his car breaks down.
A Welshman stops to see what to problem is and give him some help and takes a look.
The Welshman then Says to the Eskimo "You've Blown a seal"

The Eskimo Replies "So what? You Shag Sheep"

:D
 
An Eskimo takes his car to the garage, the mechanic says "You have blown a seal " the Eskimo replies, "Nah its just frost on my mustache"
 
Parts of Liverpool were closed off today after a suspicious device
was found on a car.

Police later found out it was a tax disc.



Two Irish couples decide to swap partners for one night.
After 2 hours of mad sex one says "damn that was good! I wonder
how the girls are doing?"


When is a dwarf not a dwarf?

When he's got his head up a fairy's skirt, then he's a goblin!


A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve shots and starts drinking them
as fast as he can.
The bartender says, "why are you drinking so fast?"
The guy says, "You would be drinking fast if you had what I had."
The bartender says, "What do you have?"
The guy sa ys, "50p"
 
saddler said:
Two Irish couples decide to swap partners for one night.
After 2 hours of mad sex one says "damn that was good! I wonder
how the girls are doing?"

A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve shots and starts drinking them
as fast as he can.
The bartender says, "why are you drinking so fast?"
The guy says, "You would be drinking fast if you had what I had."
The bartender says, "What do you have?"
The guy sa ys, "50p"
Click to expand...

:D
 
original joke was goooooooooddddddddddd :D haha


saddler said:
Two Irish couples decide to swap partners for one night.
After 2 hours of mad sex one says "damn that was good! I wonder
how the girls are doing?"
Click to expand...

and so was that :D
 
This one is extremely good.

At the emergency meeting of the UN regarding another conflict in the Middle East, the floor has been given to the Israeli Consul.

The Israeli Consul began, "Ladies and gentlemen before I commence with my speech, I wanted to relay an old story to all of you...

When Moses was leading the Jews out of Egypt, he had to go through deserts, and prairies, and even more deserts... The people became thirsty and needed water. So, Moses struck the side of a mountain with his cane and at the sight of that mountain a pond appeared with crystal clean, cool water. And the people rejoiced and drank to their hearts' content.

Moses wished to cleanse his whole body, so he went over to the other side of the pond, took all of his clothes off and dove into the cool waters of the pond.

Only when Moses came out of the water he discovered that all his clothes have been stolen... And I have reasons to believe that the Palestinians stole his clothes."

Yassir Arafat, hearing this accusation, jumps out of his seat and screams, "This is a travesty. It is widely known that there were no Palestinians there at the time!!!"

"And with that in mind", said the Israeli Consul, "let me begin my speech..."
 
Rene Descartes went into his favorite bar and the bar tender asked, "would you like your usual drink, Monsieur Descartes? " Descartes replied "I think not" and promptly disappeared
 
bbspeed said:
Rene Descartes went into his favorite bar and the bar tender asked, "would you like your usual drink, Monsieur Descartes? " Descartes replied "I think not" and promptly disappeared
Click to expand...

that being we keep ourselves in existance by thinking we exist or something like that (didnt really pay much attention in my 1st year at college :o :p
 
Pea roast

Harvard scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoeostrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women.
To test the theory, 100 men were fed 8 pints of beer each within a
1-hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects:

1.) Gained weight
2.) Talked excessively without making sense
3.) Became overly emotional
4.) Couldn't drive
5.) Failed to think rationally
6.) Argued over nothing
7.) Had to sit down while urinating
8.) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong
 
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